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Infertility

Our Infertility Support forum is a space to connect with others in the same position, discuss causes, treatment and IVF, and share infertility stories of hope and success.

What's your story?

1 reply

Babybreakfastcereal · 20/07/2021 14:59

Hi everyone.

I know we are all here wanting the same thing, a baby. I have read loads about IVF but yet to even have a consultation as I just don't see how we can afford it.

I love reading everyone's stories and journeys so I thought I would share mine.

I have been with my partner for 5 years. We were childhood sweethearts and dated when we around 18 for approx. 1 year. During this time we actually fell pregnant but we decided to terminate the pregnancy as we were both still kids... After we broke up we both went our separate ways. I married and concentrated on my career, enjoying my twenties and buying my first home renovation with now ex husband. My now partner went on to have two children with his ex but after his second child had a vasectomy :'(

My partner was straight upfront with me from the start of our relationship that he couldn't have children but always said if I wanted to try we could. He doesn't really want anymore because he had a nasty custody battle in the family courts and it really impacted his mental health, he is petrified that something like that could happen again I.e. with me and him...

So approx. 3 years ago we had his vasectomy reversed but it failed more sad faces. We knew it was a risk, especially as he only has one testicle as well but it was a risk at 50/50 we decided to take as it would have been the cheaper option.

So here I now am, 34 years old wondering if I can ever give up something I always wanted as the old saying goes "you can't miss what you haven't got". My partner feels for me and has often said to leave him so I can have a child but I can't, I love him and its his child I want - no one else's. Do you know what I mean? I have looked at egg sharing as I would love to help someone who is in just a shitty situation as I am meh. I believe my eggs are fine, I have very regular periods so I just wish that I could just go in to a clinic each month and they collect my egg and they ICSI it till I am pregnant. Don't even know if my partner has decent sperm, they could all be flops lol.

Sometimes I feel like this when I sit here and cry and want a kid, other times I just say eff it let's travel the world lol. Please tell me your story so I can read we all have different battles.

OP posts:
ivfgottwins · 20/07/2021 19:10

as I just don't see how we can afford it.

I'm out the other side of this now but ivf can be affordable. Full time childcare costs around £1200 plus a month - in many areas like London it's a lot more. The cost of giving up a wage to be a STAHM even if it's a minimum wage job is around £1100 a month....we lived like we had a child for a year and saved that money...that got us £13.5k and 3 rounds of ivf (and twins 😬).

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