How did you carry on?

[Roo45]

TTC 3.5 years now, at least 10 friends pregnant in that time or on to their second, 2 failed cycles of icsi consultant wanted me to wait a few months then get a few more investigations before a third cycle so I'm in the process of arranging an appointment.
I know others have been trying for way longer and many more attempts at IVF but I just feel defeated and can't cope anymore. All I do is cry or scream in anger, I somehow told it together for work but just cry in my lunch break too. I just can't see it ever working but I'm so desperate to be a mum I want to try. I just wish I could fast forward this part of my life but I know there's no guarantee IVF will actually ever lead to a baby.

Anyone who found themselves feeling like this, how did you find the strength to carry on?x

Hi @Roo45 we've been trying for 3.5 years too and I feel very similar. I've had recurrent losses over the last 2 years, my most recent one was after our first ivf cycle. I'm struggling with being stuck in this phase, not ready to stop but very much bogged down by the weight of nothing happening and struggling to feel hope.

Like you, I have to do more tests before we can do a transfer, so literally just waiting. Do you have a diagnosis? We discovered I have an overactive immune system so I am on meds for that but my embryo implanted late so I'm doing the era, Alice and Emma tests - but we are running out of tests to do. But having an identified reason does help sometimes as I know others have had success, eventually. But times like today, it doesn't bring comfort. I'm also noticing a lot more that prople I've connected with as they're in a similar situation have all now either got pregnant or have their babies, so feeling very left behind and it hurts, but I'm trying to acknowledge that rather than pretend I don't care.

It sounds cliche but I'm just trying to take each day as it comes. Today has been hard, so I've been out for 2 walks and tried not to be hard on myself, so listening to what I need a bit more - I've felt very low on energy recently. I also created a fuckit playlist, so happy songs I love and turn it up loud. I'm trying to find creative hobbies too - Cross stich is my latest and it occupies my mind for an hour or two. I'm not naturally creative, but I can't read at the moment as my mind is too busy, so doing something practical with my hands helps.

Sending love, this is hard x

@VenusStarr I'm so sorry to hear you are going through something similar too,cross stitch is a good idea I did start knitting when work was less busy due to lockdown so could pick it back up again!
We are male factor and our results (high number of initial fertilised embryos but hardly any decent quality ones by day 5) seem to reflect this. However on my last cycle nearly half my eggs were poor quality 8/20 we ended up with 1 excellent embryo but it didn't implant
So my consultant wants to investigate me for implantation issues but has only suggested a hysteroscopy at the moment and not the tests you have mentioned above?
I know what you mean, my friends who took a bit of time to conceive all tell me they remember how hard it was but their kids are all a few years old now! I don't know anyone personally who's gone through IVF.
Sending love to you too xx

Was so hard. Friends getting preg easily , when even not trying or ons or happened their first month of ttc

Another friend preg as cycle 2 failed

Sad.y no guarantee ivf will work

After 2nd failed we stopped for a year to lick wounds and save again

Had to pay for all 5 as df had kids I. 20,s so lost my nhs go

Took 10yrs ttc and 5 ivf to get our one and only ever bfp

We carried on as wanted a baby but every failure tore us apart

I would say that lots of people have success by 5 attempts but equally many on here have done 8 and no success

Obv it’s a money issue as well as mental and emotionally

@blondeshavemorefun that sounds so tough sorry for all you have been through :( you are right there's no guarantees with IVF x

I’m lucky @Roo45. It finally happens

BAby blondes was toddler blondes and not starting big school in sept blondes

You say implantation

After 3 failed we had an era

For me it showed we needed more progynova - not sure if that’s why 5th worked or a fluke

Just grateful. Hope uou get your happy after x

We've been TTC with #1 for many years (I am 42), my weight was always an issue, so last September I took the step to have weight loss surgery.
This helped my cycles regulate and I was due to start Clomid in Feb 2021.
Then I was suddenly diagnosed with Breast Cancer throwing everything up in the air.
I have had breast surgery and radiotherapy and after a 5 month delay, we have started clomid this month.

Our plans to be parents will never stop, we are just taking each month at a time and having faith that our path to being parents will show itself, whether it's naturally, Technology assisted or adoption. We just have to keep the faith and never let go of the end goal.
This year for me has been an absolute sh*t show and one thing I've learned is, always be prepared for the unexpected but reevaluate and reroute.

Good luck and don't give up - you got this 💪🏼

Hi, i wanted to come on and share some positivity! Five years ago i found myself in the exact same situation as what you are in right now. We did 3 IUI's - failed, 2 rounds with my own eggs - failed, we then switched to donor eggs and did another round - failed, we switched donors and did another round - early miscarriage! At this point i was so ready to throw the towel in but my partner convinced me i was brave enough for another round. I had absolutely no hope left and was just going through the motions at this point. We transferred another embryo and boom it worked! I now have a cheeky, strong willed 4 year old.

It may seem like it will never work but if you keep your eye on the prize and stay focused, it will. All you have to do is not give up. I understand that its heartbreaking when all your friends are getting pregnant and you're not ( 7 of mine got pregnant while i was going through IVF ) but be happy for them because your time will come. With certain things that went on within my journey, i do think everything happens for a reason and you will have a baby when its your time. Im currently going through IVF again to have a sibling for my daughter and another cycle just failed so im now onto my 10th round. Its tough, really tough but i know i can do it and you can to! Wishing you all the luck in the world - infertility sucks but you will come out stronger on the other side X