Final FET failed

[Rd12]

I have found out today that my hopes of ever being a mum are now gone. I can't quite accept it yet but we are out of chances. So much heartache and stress for nothing. All our money gone. After 5 FETs and no real explanation, I have to accept something is not right and it is never going to work. I really can't believe that this is now the rest of my life. It seems kind of pointless. I wonder if anyone has been through this and how you manage to ever get over it?

💐 so sorry x

I’m so sorry to read your message @Rd12 - this must be incredibly tough for you. I have no words of wisdom but just wanted to send you my thoughts and best wishes xx

@Rd12 I am so so sorry to hear this. I would allow yourself time to grieve at the moment but to stay in the present rather than thinking about the rest of your life which can be really overwhelming and add more stress to an already stressful situation. I don't know your situation, are you doing solo IVF or with a partner? If it's 2 of you then I think give yourself a bit of time and then perhaps after a little bit of time have a chat about what you might want to do going forwards and what your future might look like and what avenues you feel are worth pursuing.
Thinking of you xxx

I'm so sorry OP, it must feel utterly devastating.

I would imagine right now you probably need more time to process what has happened and to try and heal from the infertility ordeal.

Have you heard of the organisation called Gateway Women? Google them (I'm not sure if I'm allowed post web links here), where you might find more information and support on voluntary and involuntary childlessness.

Really feel for you, this is on my mind a lot as i'm 42 now with only one embryo left. I can't speak from experience, but agree with others to take time to grieve and don't force yourself to 'accept' the situation immediately. It will be a long process. Personally, i don't think i would ever get over it, but at least you can say you tried everything you could with IVF.

After a while, if there's anything you've been putting off doing due to IVF, like travel etc, maybe focus on those. Or if you work, look at how happy you are there and whether a change of career might be more rewarding. Some people find volunteering rewarding, although appreciate it can be hard to find the time if you work.

Don't make any rash decisions while this is so raw, these are just ideas for the future. I hope you can move on in some way x

Thanks all. It is really nice to hear your thoughts and support. @Roo45 it is the two of us. You are right about thinking of the future, when I read your comment I felt thats a good idea.
@anthurium I have not heard of that organisation - thanks I will take a look
@IslandStars its horrible knowing you are down to the last one. With all the other rounds at least you know you have another try. I was dreading getting to that stage. Hard to find the hope but I did by doing a few things differently for the last one. Please feel free to inbox me at any stage if you want to chat

@Rd12 Thank you, that's very kind of you to think of others during such a tough time.