Did you tell people in rl that you were having IVF?

[Ticktock40]

My mum knows, and my boss but haven’t told anyone else.

Wondered what others did? The problem with work is the minute someone’s off for an hour, everyone presumes you’re pregnant!
And by telling friends, do you feel more pressure? Again, if I avoid people or go out and not drink, they’ll be suspicious anyway!

Just another thing to worry about!

I told everyone, but to avoid any pressure from it I said we just had everything frozen and would go back in a couple years to transfer.

@willithappen I like that one! Why did I not think of that 🤦‍♀️

It kind of just fell into that story for me. Technically we did freeze all and just had to wait two months to transfer.
It made it a lot easier as I could talk openly about the ivf procedure and what I had been going through but no pressure from anyone expecting me to be pregnant soon :) currently 7 weeks so hoping this sticks and I can surprise everyone at 12 weeks :)

@willithappen Congratulations!

I like that idea, I’m just worried people will be watching and waiting if they know. I think they’re already doing that though.

I only told people that I would want support from if it failed.
I didn't tell anyone transfer days, test days etc.

I think most people believe me that it will be a year or two before we transfer so not too much pressure now
My mum seems more chill knowing they are on ice lol

Told lots of friends and the more I’ve done the more people I’ve told. But haven’t told my mum or my boss so opposite to you. I find it useful to be able to talk about it and actually the more you do talk about it the more you find lots of others going through similar things. (Not my boss or mum though so maybe that is why!)

I've only discussed it with my family and a couple of friends as I'm single (I've used donor sperm). I was fortunate in that I got all the days off using annual leave and didn't need extra days off for treatment. I'm now 10 weeks pregnant and don't intend on telling work until after the 12 week scan.

Thanks for your replies. I’ve told my boss because I’m going to need some time off for appointments with little notice. She was actually really supportive which was nice. I’m sure my friends would be too, I’m just worried it will be extra pressure.

I told my boss as wanted some time off, I also told my one friend, but didn't go in detail as every time I mentioned something it went back to her being pregnant, her having injections after csection, her, her, her. After I knew my transfer failed I told her that I know my transfer has failed, she said why, everything will be fine, she hasn't asked or seem to be interested after. I asked her how she is and the baby as they weren't well, she replied and asked how we were, I said that not well but life goes on and I'm just waiting for my week off work and she didn't even mentioned ivf or anything and now I regret I ever mentioned anything to her because she just doesn't seem to be interested and that makes me sad I was thought different of her

I told everyone close to me but not casual friends/co-workers. I really wanted to avoid pity or people feeling awkward about their own pregnancies/babies around me. I remember a pregnancy being announced at work and everyone wondering if Sally (who was undergoing IVF) knew and how she took the news and what should and shouldn't be said in front of her. No thanks! Some self-centred arse even expressed resentment that they felt they couldn't discuss their kids, and others agreed .

Now I've had successful IVF, I'm completely open about my next attempt.

Yep I have told everyone

At first just mum sister and close friends but have told myself telling people when it has come up. Work I ended up telling as I've needed quite a few scans in work time so have felt it easier saying.

For me I feel less pressure then hiding it but each to their own I guess

I really like the frozen idea! I may use that if we end up getting to egg transfer - currently stimming

My friends have been amazing
I'm in a group chat with everyone who knows but no one talks about it on group
Only a couple have messaged me privately asking if I'm ok etc which I thinks lovely
Then I only have a few friends and not on a huge circle of friends that I'm not close with so I don't mind
I just say I'm scanning and stimming etc and will be for a good month or so
No one really understands ivf in my family or friends so it's easy!
I give more detail to people im closer too
But I feel it easier to deal with to actually talk about it

How I'll feel if it's unsuccessful I don't know
But I think I would just say to people when the time comes but hopefully it will work!
X

I've told immediate family, close friends and my manager at work. Our 1st cycle was unsuccessful. DH has told some close friends and asked for their wives not to message me about it, as I felt like every 5 minutes someone was messaging to ask how I am / give me their wisdom and it was too much.

We don't give give exact dates to everyone. For example I don't tell my parents what's happening on which day because I don't want them worrying. I have 1 friend also going through IVF so we have "warts and all" discussions. I'm more vague with everyone else as I don't want loads of messages. People want to be supportive, but it can feel intense being asked constantly how it's going.

Just my parents, DH's parents and my best friend...
I've told friends lots in the past and they've either pitied me, gossiped behind my back or given me loads of advice etc...

We haven't told anyone. We're just very private people, and this will be our parents' last chance at a grandchild so we don't want to get their hopes up. We both have flexible working so scans etc won't be an issue.

I told parents and siblings and a friend I met on a miscarriage support forum and boss on cycle 1 but found lack of interest and support from family very disappointing so was very vague with them About subsequent cycles. I told my male boss every time as he was incredibly helpful at juggling my workload around scans etc