When to stop trying

[MerryAnton]

It's been 7 years TTC and it's not happened despite doing all we can. Never managed to get those two lines. Surgeries, lifestyle improvements, IVF - my life has been taken over and I've had enough now.

I'm knackered from the rollercoaster, and I feel DH & I are so much older than 7 years ago when we started trying!

And actually, life is good - no big stresses, I'm thinking about a new career, DH and I are stronger than ever, looking to move house soon and don't have to consider schools, can book holidays whenever etc, disposable income, lots of sleep...all the childfree positives for the first time feel like real positives.

Has anyone else reached an acceptance of being childless and just...moved on? Without heartbreak?

Hiya. I'm slightly different in that I am suffering secondary infertility. But I am desperate to reach the acceptance stage and it sounds like you are actually possibly there already? Which I think
means you have already done the hard work. Maybe those 7 years of fighting have led you through the grief cycle and out the other side? You deserve peace after all you've been through. Google gateway women, it's a hugely positive space for childless not by choice.

Hello love there's a really good community on Instagram led by @chasing.creation which has lots of useful resources and ladies and couples sharing their experiences. It's not easy. Good luck xx

Hi @MerryAnton I know this is an old thread but I had to reply because I am searching for the same answers as you. I read your post and feel like I could’ve written it. I’ve been trying for 8 years, gynae surgeries, ivf, miscarriages… So tough. But I feel more at peace with it all, I’m 40 now, life is good, lots of positives. I am considering donor conception but really undecided at present. I don’t think much about ttc anymore. But of course there are still moments of deep sadness and grief, just not as often as before. Therapy has very much helped.
I think you’re very strong for what you’ve been through and to be so positive.
I would also love to hear from people who have accepted childlessness and have reached the stage of fully accepting it.