10th FET anxiety and need support

[Elly1685]

I recently had my 10th transfer and I’m currently 8dp5dt. I’m BFN and so know that this probably isn’t going to work again. I’ve had 2 chemicals, 1 ectopic and 1 miscarriage of twins and I just feel broken. I had what I thought was implantation bleeding at 4dp5dt and since 5dp5dt have had horrendous cramping like af is trying to make an appearance.

I don’t think I can go through this again. I feel like my heart is beating through my chest. I feel so sick and so sad.

Sorry for the negativity. It’s just a down kind of day

😞 I would be broken too. I’m so sorry for your losses. I hope you have love and support around you - I’m sure there will be an outpouring of support for you on here. Sending you a virtual hug xx

I'm so sorry . It's gutting isn't it - I'm about to start my 9th go (assuming that there is anything to transfer, previous have been a mix of IUI's and IVF fresh and frozen transfers) but without even a chemical positive yet, despite all my bloods and scans looking "normal". It does seem so hard to keep going sometimes - stay strong!

Hi @Elly1685 first of all, so sorry for all that you’ve been through, you’ve every right to feel negative. Ivf can be such a cruel process, it takes all your strength just to get through each day during the 2ww. Sending you my thoughts xxx

Really sorry you have had to go through so many (same for you @IamnotwhouthinkIam). I have had 4 transfers, all tests good and nothing. I am about to start my final one. There are times I have felt I can't go through another and nearly given up. I'm dreading the last one because I just can't see it working now and then I have to accept i'll never be a mum.

@Elly1685 gosh 10 transfers, and with what’s happened before, you’ve had such a tough time.

Have you had investigations, I just paused for them after 2 unsuccessful transfer: I’ve had PGT-A (very good rates of euploid embryos so the problem isn’t the embryo), autoantibodies (negative), thrombophilia screen (1 abnormal gene found so I’ll be on aspirin and heparin), ERA/EMMA/ALICE (just had this and they had issues getting a sample so I’m now under investigation for Ashermans syndrome and having a HSG and maybe a hysteroscopy).

I really hope this is successful for you, but if not I’d strongly recommend investigations before another transfer if you haven’t had things thoroughly investigated already.

Same for you @IamnotwhouthinkIam what investigations have you had?

Thinking of you @Elly1685 and thanks for your support @Rd12 and @Gardenlady543. Sorry you are all going through this too.

I haven't had any investigations yet - only the usual AMH, FSH, AFC and general hormonal plus thyroid bloods, transvaginal scans to check lining etc, plus an HSG to check my tubes.

Technically because I've "only" had 6 IUI's and 2 IVF transfers (1 double), they suggest it's just bad luck due to my age (nearly 40) that I probably haven't had a good egg/euploid embryo yet and that's why there has been no implantation. I'm currently NHS for the IVF so they likely won't let me do any expensive tests (even if I offered to pay) - but I think I'm going to ask about cheap options like trying steroids and aspirin for my next transfer in case that could help.

If I can afford to do a 3rd IVF round privately I'll have to think about PGT-A testing or ERA or hysteroscopy. My instinct is ERA or hysteroscopy to properly check out the uterine environment as I read that PGT- A testing isn't really worth it if you only get 2 or 3 embryos anyway.

Can I ask how long your investigations took and the rough cost @Gardenlady543? I'm worried about pausing IVF for more than a few months because of my age.

@IamnotwhouthinkIam

PGT-A was 1185 + 305 per embryo, so cost just under 3k. Whether this should be done or not is dependent on the number of embryos and a person’s age. If you have a fresh cycle and you get 2 embryos for example and you’re over 40, then I would say just do a double transfer. Testing them can shorten the time to pregnancy but it doesn’t increase the chances of success and can result in problems: embryos may not survive the thaw (I lost my best embryo this way), embryos can be damaged, results can be inconclusive or mosaic and that means there’s then a debate on what to do with these results. The results can take 2 weeks to come back, they were back in 1 week in my case.

Autoantibodies and thrombophilia screen cost £1500, the results took 2 weeks. If there are autoantibodies then a clinic may put someone on steroids and if the thrombophilia screen finds an issue then aspirin and heparin might be prescribed.

The ERA/EMMA/ALICE took the place of a FET, I was put on all the meds and on the day that a transfer would have happened they took a sample of the endometrium. The results should take 15 working days. It cost £1500.

A specialist in Ashermans syndrome spoke to me last week and arranged the HSG, this is timed for the first half of your cycle, I had to call on day 1 and I’ve been booked in for 2 weeks time, it’s costing £505.

My last cycle ended in February and I should know more in around 3 weeks time when I should have the ERA/EMMA/ALICE and HSG results. So I’d say overall this has taken around 4 months. I have 5 euploid blastocytes frozen and I’m 35 so I have more time than others. Usually these tests are done much later in the process after say 3-4 unsuccessful transfers, they were brought forward in my case as I have high rates of high quality euploid blasts so it’s clear there is an issue with implantation. Going through further transfers without exploring these issues could be futile.

If I were in your position I would consider the ERA/EMMA/ALICE first, that will tell you if you need to be on progesterone for shorter/longer, 1 in 3 women are in this position. It will also tell you about the levels of good and bad bacteria in the endometrium, the medical literature suggests this is hugely important for implantation and to prevent miscarriages and very easy to treat.

The evidence suggests a hysteroscopy should only be undertaken if there is a clear indication, as there can be a risk of perforating the uterus. I would be reassured that the HSG looked good, but these can be variable dependent on who is undertaking it. In my case I have very light periods and issues with the lining so if the HSG is normal and the ERA/EMMA/ALICE is normal they may do a hysteroscopy, because something doesn’t add up in my case.

Thank you so much for all this info @Gardenlady543 - very helpful and it sounds like you've really done your research!

Like you, I have very short periods (only about 2 days ) but I wouldn't say they are that light (actually sometimes quite clotty). But they have claimed my lining has always looked good for transfer - at least 10/11mm, sometimes 13mm, so I have no idea what's going on!

I agree an ERA/Emma/Alice sounds the most sensible for me, although that will probably mean changing clinics since I don't think mine does them. Re: the bacteria - I read some clinics automatically give all women a course of antibiotics for this reason before transfer, but mine doesn't .

I considered a hysteroscopy as I am concerned I could have endometriosis that hasn't shown up on the "normal" scans (my mother had it, and I have minor urinary/bowel issues plus painful, clotty periods). But I'm not sure a hysteroscopy would reveal anything - probably only a laparoscopy would and I can't afford to waste the 6 months plus recovery time at my age.

Thanks again for all your advice - I really hope that when your results come through, it is something they can easily treat .

Sorry, misread - you only have light periods, not short ones. I don't think generally doctors find that too concerning, although obviously a thin lining before transfer is more of an issue.

@IamnotwhouthinkIam oh I didn’t know that some clinics give antibiotics. My periods are light and short, I just get one day of “normal” flow and then just spotting for a couple of days after. They were previously a lot heavier before I has a mirena coil. I really hope I get some answers too. I hope you have some productive conversations for moving forward. Perhaps the clinic can give you advice on what investigations might be helpful even if you have to go elsewhere for them?

Sorry to hear yours are short too @Gardenlady543 .Yes, I read that some clinics give Doxycycline for the 5 days after egg collection before transfer - but it doesn't seem to be standard for some reason (just like low dose Prednisolone and baby aspirin - some clinics seem willing to try them just in case, without blood tests first and others refuse).

I'm definitely going to have a discussion with my clinic about potentially trying some of these "simple" changes, if my next embryo transfer doesn't work (although I suppose I could just take the baby aspirin myself since you can buy it over the counter?). I'm not sure how willing they will be to advice about anything that goes against the "standard" protocol or that they don't offer themselves but it's worth a shot!

Thanks again for all your advice.

How are you OP? xx