Help and advice please? Secondary infertility struggles? Irregular cycles?

[Xr1n]

Hi,

First time poster here...sorry it’s a long one!

I’m hoping someone may have some advice, kind words or similar experiences :)

My fiancé and I have been trying to conceive our second child for over a year. I contacted our GP once we reached the year point two months ago. Since then my partner has provided a semen sample but is still awaiting his result and I’ve been referred to the hospital and have received a letter saying that things are (understandably) delayed at the moment, not to contact them and that they will contact me. Anyway, my main issue is that I’ve always been regular, I haven’t taken the contraceptive pill in 13 years and I’ve tracked my periods in an app for over 5 years as an extra means of contraception. However, in the last 3 months I’ve had a 58 day and then a 19 day cycle and for the first time ever it all feels like it’s getting on top of me. I feel like I no longer understand my cycle and I’m worried that something is amiss to cause them to suddenly become so irregular. I started using a fertility app, temping and ovulation strips 3 months ago in the hope it would help us conceive but now I’m wondering if the stress and pressure of doing these things has caused my cycle to become irregular. I feel like it’s all I think about and the frustration and disappointment is unbearable. When my cycle was 58 days long I clung onto the hope that I was pregnant and I was getting those ‘mythical’ false negatives, so when my flow did eventually arrive I was upset, but just focused on starting again. However, when my flow arrived so early this month it took me by surprise and I cried on the spot - this isn’t like me at all. I just feel like giving up as it’s all so consuming.

Anyway my questions to you lovely ladies are:
How do you cope with struggling to conceive the second time round? I’ve always felt sympathy for couples going through any infertility, but I realise now that I really didn’t understand how hard it is. I also feel so guilty for getting upset when I have a perfect little girl to be thankful for already. How do you keep motivated to keep going?

Has anyone else experienced sudden irregular periods? Should I be concerned? I’ve made a telephone appointment with my DRs but it’s not until the 12th April and everything is so slow moving at the moment.

For context I am 31, overweight and have a 2 year old. I’ve been exercising and eating healthier and steadily losing 1-2lbs a week - which I’m also finding difficult fitting around work etc.

Any help or advice would be really appreciated :)

I thought I’d update this, I know no one has replied yet, but somebody like myself may be looking and it could useful.

I’m thinking of going private to speed the investigations up. Had a telephone consultation today and the prices seem reasonable.

Hi @Xr1n I was TTC for two years before I decided to have an IVF, due to the fact that I have unexplained infertility and my age (39).
Even though I'm not an OB, your age and the fact that you have been pregnant before works in your favour. Keep the healthy lifestyle and ask your doctor if the irregular periods are linked to undiagnosed PCOS or hormonal imbalances.
I'm wishing you the best of luck, and keep us posted!

Thank you! My Dr has been really supportive, everything just feels so slow moving because resources are (rightly) stretched. I’ve looked into a fertility assessment privately and I’m hoping that it will ease my worries and will allow me to relax into ttc again if nothing else :) thank you for taking the time to reply! X

I suffered awful secondary infertility and moved onto IVF which was eventually successful

To be honest I wouldn't bother waiting on the NHS tests. You aren't eligible for treatment anyway as you have a child already and also due to your DH vasectomy.

Clinics aren't too bothered about cycle length etc as they'll just give you drugs to regulate it and as part of the protocol x

Thank you, I hadn’t considered that! That’s such a good point, I knew we wouldn’t be eligible for ivf but I hadn’t made the correlation about how pointless it would be to wait. My partner hasn’t had a vasectomy, but he’s finally had his results back and all is normal. I’m glad you were successful with ivf 🥰 did you have to have many rounds?

Ah sorry vasectomy was mentioned in another thread! 🤦‍♀️

I had 5 rounds in the end and had twins in January......we had to remortgage and took out a bank loan though too so cost us every penny (and more!) that we had x

@Xr1n Surely, if you haven't the slightest idea about why and what happens to you, the guidance of an expert will help you, at least, to relax