3 failed IVF & what next

[KayReeves]

Hi all sharing on this thread in the hope of some similar stories. Currently bleeding during 2 week wait, tummy is v painful so think its safe to say this round is over

I’m 39 had 5 embryo transfers and 3 rounds of IVF. Have a little boy through IUI & trying for baby 2. No eggs in the freezer, i have low ovarian reserve. Feeling utterly crushed and no idea what to do now. Not been able to conceive naturally so if we stop IVF now i think thats the end but we’ve also spent a lot of money. Finding it hard to do much but cry or feel angry at my failing body.

@KayReeves I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. My second cycle of icsi failed 2 days ago and I've been a wreck since so although I've not had as much ivf as what you have I understand how a failed cycle can crush you.
We've never been pregnant and consultant has suggested further tests. Have you had a consultant review and found out if there's anything they think could improve your chances on the next round? There are IVF protocols more suited to people with low ovarian reserves- if you didn't have this could you enquire?
Would you consider changing clinic or going abroad?
At 39 I still think you could carry on if you wanted to but we all know the mental impact and I think only you will know when it's been enough and it's time to draw a line under it. Sometimes letting go can be very freeing, but only if you are in that place mentally.
Good luck with whatever you decide, thinking of you xx

Thanks @Roo45 its just heartbreaking, a little girl looked at me this morning as I was out for a walk and i just burst into tears. I will talk to the consultant to see what they advise but there’s n guarantees and all i want is an answer. Its just such a rollercoaster, so sorry to hear about your cycles too x

@KayReeves I know the feeling I've been crying constantly and feel hopeless. Sending virtual hugs xx

You too @Roo45 its really hard to know how to move forward at this point. And at the same time pretend to everyone else that you’re fine as I didn’t really tell people this time.

I know, I ended up crying in front of my work colleague today I felt so embarrassed afterwards but they were lovely about it. Can you take a break from being around others for a bit? I don't know how easy that is for you? Personally despite what happened today for me work is a good way to try and keep my mind off things as I only work part time and on my days off I'm just overthinking and crying.
I think what we are going through is totally normal though and we will be in this headspace for a few days or even weeks before we can move forward but eventually we will be able to xx

@Roo45 i’m working at home for the minute which is good but like you definitely want to be busy. I feel like I’m failing my little boy for not giving him a sibling, I want the best for him and really want him to have a brother or sister as I grew up pretty much an only child and really hated it. Its hard to process all these feelings, wish I could fast forward to a time where it won’t be as painful. Sending love x

@KayReeves and you xx

My heart goes out to you. And it really sucks that there are triggers everywhere we look. I was on the verge of giving up, which is easy, but it doesn't help you sleep at nights. My doctor advised me to take the IVF route. Since I can't afford the cost, I started searching for clinics abroad, which are more affordable. I know that travelling for medical reasons when you have a kid is hard, is there anyone who can help you? I'd suggest you to look for that option. It's a pity (for all of us) to miss the chance.
I'm sending to both of you warm hugs

I'm so sorry. Would you consider donor eggs?

Thanks @vet7 i had’t actually looked into going abroad, have you found somewhere you’re happy with? At the moment I just don’t feel ready to give up but not sure I can face more IVF, i’m not convinced it will work. I’d looked at natural modified IVF but success rates are shockingly low. No option looks good. Husband thinks eggs will cause a divide and resentment in our relationship @greendress789 and he might be right. Not sure how i’d feel if i was the only one not linked by blood. But i know this may be our best chance. Sending love to you all. I feel like i have lost a part of my old self during all of this

@KayReeves yes, I found a clinic in Cyprus. Really, I don't know how to give you courage because I haven't been in your position. I only know how hard it is to try and get nothing. I understand that egg donation might feel weird, but to me at least if it felt like it would give me a better chance I would consider it. Please, don't punish yourself, your WONDERFUL (not failing!) body gave you a kid before ❤️

Thanks @vet7 I feel exhausted with it all. I have a follow up call with the consultant in a few weeks, they won’t have any answers for me I know but hoping to get something from them even just recommendations of tests I can do.

@KayReeves I wish you the best of luck, and I hope that everything will work out.
Keep us posted!

Thank you so much @vet7 I hope your path works out for you too xxx