Friendships

[strawberrysummer19]

I've posted here because I feel it's relevant TTC and starting an ivf journey soon

Does anyone feel like their friends are just rubbish? Exactly that really.

I have a handful of friends I've met through work, text often and plan to meet for coffee / catch up when lockdowns over

But REAL friends I have a group of old school friends that quite honestly probably wouldn't be my friends now

There's one girl who is the leader of the pack
She gets funny if any one meets up without her
When we did meet up before lock down I'd say it was a quarterly thing like a brunch or something but no more frequent as everyone is so busy

She moans about her kids, is constantly stressed even though from her outside things look rosy. She doesn't have to work, has more money than any of us put together and is always hard done by some way or another

I try and look on the positive side and I just feel I've drifted away from them and lockdown has made me evaluate everyone my life

Is this normal? I guess I feel a bit lonely embarking on a ivf journey soon which they all know about.

Just curious to know if anyone else feels same

X

I found I detached myself a lot from friends and family whilst going through miscarriages and infertile and ultimately IVF. I became annoyed by what I felt was the triviality of their lives and just wanted to shake them and tell them how good I thought they had it compared to me

@ivfbeenbusy hmm I feel I've done the same.

I just find them all a bit fake and I'm struggling sympathising with them over stresses that really are just trivial.

I just don't want to surround myself with negativity but then I feel like I'll have no friends!

Catch 22 I guess. Nice to know I'm not the only one x

@strawberrysummer19 I’ve felt similar to this in the past, it’s interesting because people tend to stay friends with their school friends. But the kind of people we chose to associate with at school, is often very different to the people we would chose to associate with now. People change and go in different directions with the careers, family decisions etc. I keep in touch but I don’t really expect that much.

While having IVF I have reduced down my social circle, which has been very easy with the lockdown restrictions. I just can’t devote the time to friends that need a lot of support from me right now, all my energy is going on getting through this. I guess I have to be a bit selfish. If you have friends who have had or are having IVF or are very good at being supportive and caring, then I would say open up to them. Other friends I would personally reduce my contact with.

@Gardenlady543 that's very true. I think maybe I'm just expecting too much from school friends that don't really care very much for what I'm going through. Another thing is the main girl is just so bitchy, always slagging off for the other girls. It's just draining.

I think with how I feel and just from being on here I am going to just distance myself and concentrate on the ivf. We start April. So from tomorrow it's 1st March and countdown really.

X