My fiancé and l are doing our 2nd round of IVF in April, we are going abroad to have this. It’s my mother’s birthday in about 2 months and it falls on a crucial part of it right near egg collection. My mother is increasingly sick of lockdown like the rest of us and has got it into her head that restrictions will all be lifted soon so she can have a family birthday. I have made clear we won’t be free due to doing IVF and the timetable of this. Plus l doubt restrictions will have eased much by that point where we all live -my brother lives abroad. My mother and l live 100’s of miles apart, both in area’s especially badly affected by COVID.
My mum is very unhappy with my response. Basically she thinks l am selfish and “not making enough effort”. Can l not defer the IVF for a week was one of her questions? I have tried to explain it doesn’t work like that but it’s falling on deaf ears. My fiancé thinks it’s one of those things and she needs to suck it up, it isn’t a big birthday of my mum’s for clarity. My brother in contrast thinks l should be more accommodating, even though when l explained how IVF works then he realised there isn’t a massive amount of flexibility. Unless we defer for a month or 2. Typically l am more boundaried with my mum as she can be demanding at times, whereas my brother is keener to jump through the hoops she sets up. There are back stories to this, my mum for a while has made it clear she’s doesn’t wish to talk about IVF and she thinks us doing IVF is waste of time (conversely doctors think we are good candidates and the odds aren’t that terrible). Whenever l have mentioned IVF even before this then she rapidly moves conversations on and gives it no air time. Consequently l feel very unsupported by her
I am not expecting any solutions to this, l more wanted to ventilate! It is a medical thing we are doing, l like to think she would be less blinkered if l was have a back operation or another gynaecological procedure