Miscarriage heartache

[Geep]

I have been ttc my second child for 2yrs (first conceived 1st month of trying). In that time we had a very early loss over a year ago (still cant figure out the dates but reckon 3 or 4 weeks) and an unsuccessful round of ivf last November. We are due to have our consent apt next week to hopefully start our next round (think transfer would be in april)
Last week, my period was a couple of days late which i didnt think much of as it hasnt been normal length since our failed cycle, but still did a pregnancy test as i fancied a gin and tonic. And it was positive. While i tried so hard not to get excited or ahead of myself it was so hard and i worked out the due date and imagined myself pregnant. But the day after when i wiped it was pinky and an hr later it was redder. Ive continued to spot (now 3days). It has mostly been browny or pink but on two occasions today it was red so im pretty sure im miscarrying. Ive read all the stories about ppl spotting and everything being ok, but i just dont think ill be that lucky.
Im heart broken and also feeling so stupid as i called the dr on the day i got the BFP as i wanted to know about my thyroid medication and he has referred me to the hospital. I wouldnt have called the dr so early except im on thyroid medication and know its important to keep it under control. Im going to call dr on monday to see if i can get bloods taken to confirm if I am miscarrying . I know i should be happy that we have conceived naturally and it might happen again. But not sure i can go through seeing a BFP then losing it again. Last time i had a loss even tho it was only 3-4 weeks, i bled for 5 or 6 weeks and it took that long to get a -ve test. I also attended the epu every week to monitor my hcg levels an initially they dropped very slowly and they couldn't rule out an ectopic. Im hoping if this a loss then its quicker this time.

This also means our next ivf cycle will most likely be delayed as im assuming they will want a natural cycle before starting. Think ill contact the clince next week before our appointment to see what advice they have.

This post isnt really looking for answers as i know only time will tell, but i guess i just needed to unload.

Hi @Geep I’m really sorry to hear your experience, it sounds like monitoring things yourself was very stressful in the past. It sounds like asking your doctor to do some bloods would be sensible. I’ve heard a lot about spotting being normal, but obviously you’re going to be worried because of your previous experience. I have everything crossed for you and hope things aren’t too stressful while you wait for more information. Sending you big hugs

Hi @Gardenlady543. Thank you. I know it might sound a bit harsh but just want to know for sure so i can put it behind me.
I think i remember you from the nov/dec chat ? We had transfers very close together i believe . How are you doing?

Yeah I remember you too @Geep so I was sad to see you’re having this tough experience, but it sounds like a good thing that you’ve got pregnant. I’ve never had a BFP before, it feels like such a big hurdle for me, so it must be a good sign I really hope you get some reassurance or at the very least clarity.

My update is: After my unsuccessful transfer in the first cycle in November I had a FET, I’m 10dp5dt but it was a BFN yesterday and I had abdominal pain 7-9 days and it was a hatched embryo so I’m quite sure it’s another no go. I’ve asked my clinic to do PGT-A on my 7 frosties and a scratch, and I’m considering ERA as well. So much of this seems to be trial and error, I just want to get it all right soon.

I know what you mean, I feel in limbo right now, not the same situation as you, but I understand feeling a bit stuck, I don’t think this FET has worked out and have to wait for the next few days before even being able to plan for the future.

@Gardenlady543 yes i agree it is good it happened naturally for me. I wonder is it because my thyroid levels are reducing? Although saying that my medication was increaser at start of january as it still isn't below 2.5. Starting to wonder if i have an implantation issue - not sure if that's a even a thing.
Im sorry to hear your current cycle doesnt seem to be succesful. And i know it doesnt make it any easier but on a plus you have lots of frosties so hopefully with the testing youll get the best of the best. Have you ever been told what causing your difficulties or is it unknown?
If i remember correctly, you had an issue with progesterone, did you get that sorted?
I was on the gel and asked my clinic about it as i bled while still on it last time which i thought shouldnt happen. But was told if its failed youd expect to bleed when i did (8dp5dt).
With our cycle in nov we got only 1egg which was transferred. So have to do a fresh cycle again. I got a alot of immature eggs (7 out of 10 where immature) so they are going to increase my gonal f dose and take it for longer - so hoepfully thatll get some more eggs.
Its just a waiting game and alot of it is done to chance. And on days like today that is too much to take. (Sorry having a feel sorry for myself day haha)

@geep you have a good memory! Progesterone has continued to have been a bit of a nightmare for me, I’m due to speak with an immunologist at the end of February, I’ve had rashes in this cycle as well. I bled at the exact same time in my fresh cycle, it started from 8dp5dt and was a full blown period by 11dp5dt, it was only this week that a doctor told me that was normal, he said 8dp5dt is the equivalent of 13dpo which is around the time a period is expected. I had insisted on a progesterone blood test the day before my transfer this time, it came back at 46.6, my specialist uses a cut off of 50 so the dose was increased this time, so at least that was reassuring, as I’d been in less last time.

I emailed my specialist this week to say I cannot understand why I would produce 9 high quality blasts and yet why I’ve never ever had a BFP so I suspect the issue is implantation for me. The scratch can help with that, the PGT-A will eliminate aneuploid embryos that won’t result in a pregnancy so should help move forward. The other thing I’m considering is a ERA. The other tests are ALICE, EMMA and NK cells but I mean I think I’ll hold off on too many tests for now. I’ll have to wait to discuss all this with my specialist, but I’ve told her to start the PGT-A next process.

Oh it’s absolutely fine to have a feel bad, it sounds stressful what you’re going through. I had a really bad day last week, I find it kind of comes and goes.

@Gardenlady543 haha only a good memory sometimes. Not so good when looking for car keys or phone haha. Think i remember as we were quite similar timescales and results .

I asked my clinic about testing progeaterone levels. But was told that it would only test my blood levels and not what was in the lining, so no point. Didnt seem quite right to me as I've heard a few ppl having their levels checked.
You seem to be very on top of things and know your stuff which is great. I really hope you get a positive outcome soon.

@geep I hope you do too, how great would it be if all the people we meet on this forum chat to each other in child forums on here in the future.