Bad day

[Moiraroseswigs]

I'm sorry in advance for moaning. Things are getting on top of me - lockdown, infertility, its impact on our relationship. I've spent most of today in bed crying after a massive fight with DH about him drinking before our upcoming IVF cycle. Not much, and he has been eating better and cut down a lot on alcohol. But it feels like everything is on me and this is the one thing he can do. I know I'm overreacting. But it makes me feel like he just doesn't care. I feel so alone. And after another bloody pregnancy announcement yesterday followed by reams of messages about babies, I just feel so down and that I'm a failure for not having babies as easily as all of them.

Everyone on this forum seems to have such supportive partners. DH is great in lots of other ways but just isn't getting the way I'm feeling about this.

Any tips for how to deal with the bad days?! Getting out of bed would be a start but I really don't want to be around DH at the moment. I sound like a dramatic teenager..

Hey, I'm with you girl! My OH is good but then occasionally snaps as he doesn't like me not being positive but 24 months in TTC it's hard not to be negative sometimes. We too also heard of someone we know being pregnant this week and it just feels everyone sails us by. I got so upset the other day when I found out. My advice is go grab some chocolate, have a nice bath and watch some telly and get an early night. It's always better the next day. Don't ever apologise for ranting or talking about it though. You need somewhere to vent and supportive people around you. I truly believe you, myself, anyone else trying will get their baby eventually so in the words of my OH 'stay positive' ❤️

Also, maybe in a couple of days when you feel calmer and his calm just try and talk to him about how it's making you feel not getting pregnant and say you don't want to feel this way and doing everything you can not too and you just want him to do the things he can do too to help increase your chances like cutting back on alcohol

Thanks crazydoglady. We've talked about it when I've been calm also but he feels as he's cut way down he's doing enough. He says me stressing is likely to do as much damage, which is probably valid. But I'm feeling extra sensitive today and taking it as him not giving a shit about me or getting pregnant.

Thanks for the nice posts, hopefully you're right and tomorrow will be a better day!

u said u got your period some time around period we r annoying and crying and foghting same story its with me yesterday i also. have a same day as your all day crying and fighting with husband trying for pregnancy 3 year know but can't get pregnant doctor said i have a uterus septum so i did surgery i have hypothyroid too so doctor my eggs are week i need clomid she said from next month she start mu fertitlty treament with clomid and iui but yesterday i got later that i have to change the hospitl and doctor she is no longor accepting my insurance thats made me crying and fighting with no reason feel sad that why i cant get pregnant easily by my self but today morning i wake up early and thought to do not cry and do yoga and other staff to make my self relax and i m think that i m strong enought to fight every problem with out blaming other so try to make busy your self to not stress take good care of health may be that why can get pregnant easily

Sorry you got bad news about your insurance. I don't have my period. I take good care of my health thank you, that is not the reason I can't get pregnant.

@Moiraroseswigs men unfortunately will never understand the pressure on us TTC. I have it with my OH all of the time. Okay it affects him (but only slightly) when we get BFN's or I come on but it doesn't happen to their bodies...they're not the ones symptom spotting every cycle, plugging data into apps and I know for myself doing the tests by myself. Just take your mind off it today and do what you need to get yourself through and tomorrow will be better xx

Sorry you're having a bad day @Moiraroseswigs
No need to be sorry, if any people are going to understand it's the people here. Sometimes my husband can be incredibly supportive and others I feel like he's not fussed about this at all.

We've had arguments in the past because he can't understand why someone else getting pregnant makes me upset. His thoughts are usually along the line of so what, we'll have a better baby 🤦
I need to watch my weight or I won't get treatment and he doesn't make that easy, but it's me who feels like a failure.
Life is hard enough just now without anything else, like infertility, going on, so be kind to yourself.
When I'm having a bad day I try and force myself to go for a walk and clear my head. With pregnancy announcements, unless I know differently, I consider that they have maybe had problems too. It's unfair but I cope better with announcements on this forum than in real life because I know how much it means and it's like it's a win for our team.
Sorry for the ramble, just wanted you to know you're not alone.

Thanls pixelflower, that's a nice way of looking at things