Struggling

[Rdaisyleo]

I'm really struggling today. I had babies and fertility on the brain all day. How other people get pregnant and the drop of a hat and I'm struggling after 5 years and now have to have ivf... I've just been on here looking at other chats and I've read that having unexplained infertility isn't all that good. That the doctors just haven't found whats wrong with me... I wasn't seeing it that way. Also I've just read that ivf success rate is shocking and I was really hoping it would be the answer for me. I'm 26, tick every box to get pregnant... ovulate. Healthy weight. Don't smoke or particularly drink. Bloods fine. Tubes fine... partners sperms fine and now I feel like had my hopes up and they've been crushed.

I've had so many of those same thoughts @Rdaisyleo. I've had some (many) really bad days when I feel miserable and bitter, then others when I feel hopeful and still let myself imagine a future with a child.
I'm also unexplained and how I feel about that is changeable but not really thought about it being a negative in terms of IVF success, more long term mental health side.
The thing is some people break all the TTC "rules" and are successful and others do everything by the book and aren't so lucky. I hope that doesn't come across negatively. I say that to make the point that from what you said there's good reason to be hopeful.

@Rdaisyleo oh how your post resonates with me, I’ve never smoked, I don’t drink alcohol, I am a lifetime vegan always eaten a healthy diet, I only eat organic food, I’ve always been slim, I exercise regularly. No medical conditions, no medications.

I’ve done everything right, but after me and my husband got married we tried for 12 months and nothing... so we went down the IVF route, all the tests have been fine, I have a great egg reserve, my husbands sperm numbers are sky high. And here we are, no baby. Nobody has said unexplained fertility to us, but with no abnormal results it’s the only category left. I saw that as a plus, I wouldn’t want an extra issue that needs to be resolved if I can help it.

At 26 there are lots of positives, the chance of success is higher at younger ages. I’m 35, so still in a good age category, I’m having my frozen transfer next week. And I feel you, it isn’t fair, but at least there are options.

I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles. I've had 4 failed cycles TTC my second. Have you looked into getting your immunes tested? That's what my next stage is.

Thankyou for your messages. I was having a very bad day. @greendress789 no I haven't, what does that look for and how would you get it done? X

I was 36 after 10 years ttc when I started IVF. Slim, good AMH, regular cycle, ovulated, picture of health etc. I wasn't really taken seriously in my 20s because everything looked right - keep trying they said. I should have pushed harder, but I wasted a lot of time on stupid diets, avoiding plastic and other lifestyle nonsense hoping it would eventually work naturally until I lost all hope.

I was gutted with unexplained infertility because there was nothing to fix and I wondered if whatever was wrong with me wouldn't be overcome with IVF. I was hoping it was blocked tubes!

But the doctor who referred me for IVF was really positive precisely because everything looked so good. He said that IVF gets a bad name and success rates are quite low because the majority have issues like age, weight, and reproductive health problems.

IVF worked really well for me. I'm still infertile and doing IVF again with frozen blasts from my first cycle. I'll never know what's wrong with me but if the IVF works again I don't even care. And of course I'll be grateful it gave me my first even if my IVF luck runs out. I think now that for whatever reason, I never had a chance trying naturally and IVF gave me a real shot.

You've still got reasons to be positive. Fingers crossed for you.