Advice on offering to finance IVF

[Pastnowfuture]

My sister and brother in law have taken out a loan for IVF. They have unexplained infertility and don't qualify for NHS because he has a child from a previous relationship. Paying back the loan will be a squeeze but they will manage. They have said that if it doesn't work they can't afford another go for several years at which point age would be an issue. I've decided that if it doesn't work I will offer to pay for a second round.

My question is this...do I share this offer with them now to take away the pressure of it potentially being their only chance or would it be better to wait and see what happens. I don't want to put a pessimistic slant on things by looking like I presume it won't work first time.

If you are 100% happy to offer then I'd let them know now. I reckon that takes off a bit of the pressure, rather than the more negative view of presuming that it won't work.

When I did my 1 and only NHS round of ivf.. knowing I had 5k at home for a second go if it didn’t work made it a better journey
Also the second go was the go that resulted in my girl, which I am so thankful as that was my last go as had no more money

What a lovely thing to do. I agree it will take some pressure off the first round to offer this now. You can say it’s just a back up for peace of mind, I’m sure they know the odds of first time success is not great for anyone, so nothing negative intended, you just want to help.

How lovely of you! I would agree as someone who has just paid upfront for a 2 cycle round it is reassuring to know we have that second and potentially a third we are budgeting for

Maybe pick your moment and suggest it with the advice of pp

Such a lovely thing to do xxx

From experience, l would definitely let them know now as it takes the pressure off their first round! They know that they've got another chance and it will ease their a little! What a kind thing to do!!

A lovely thing to do

Can I add that paying off a loan for failed ivf is awful. Every month of payment was a stark remainder that it failed :(

But yes may make thing easier for them knowing have a another chance

Tho also if a good ec they Will do fets first

Average cost varies. But £1/1.5k per fet

Wouid you pay for those ?

Are you fully aware of how much a second round will cost? Lots of people are surprised at the final Bill amount and aren't aware of the true cost including drugs, add ons? You don't want to get yourself in a position of offering to pay and then finding out it's much more expensive than you'd thought?

Also you need to have a think about how you'd feel if whilst you have generously offered this money they then say...go book an expensive holiday? Or buy an expensive item? Would you be annoyed that they've spent money on that rather than putting their own money aside for treatment? I know that sounds an awful thing to consider but I've seen it time and time again when lending money for something has led to significant resentment x

Looking at £6/8k as ballpark including icsi and drugs

Just to add that we asked our clinic for a price for a single round ( incase our 2 cycle doesn't work ) so we know we have a third down the line if needed and we were quoted 8k including everything! Even though the multi cycle round is 10,600
Thats icsi, meds, a couple of add ons etc
So just wanted to add that
X

That’s such a lovely thing to do. I’d tell them now, and offer a specific cap on how much be it 5k, 8k, depends what is comfortably affordable for you- there are lots of add ons with ivf and this will help them to be clear what they can do for example if it is just going to cover a fresh cycle or if they can also transfer any frozen embryos from that cycle.

It would take a chunk of stress away. I'd put a figure on it though as the costs can spiral. What a lovely sister you are!