Infertility 23year old

[Sloan123]

Hi everyone,

Looking some advice I have been with my partner for 5 years and we have had unprotected sex for 4 years and I was speaking to a close friend and she said how have you not become pregnant and it really made me think why haven't I. Around 4 years ago I had problems with my periods when I didn't have a period for a year and was advised by the doctor to start the pill, which restarted my period. I'm so nervous that I can't have children and too nervous to speak to the doctor. Could someone advise me what to do

Hi @Sloan123 Do you have sex regularly? I agree that 4 years is quite a while but then it's only possible to get pregnant a few days each month so if you're not tracking your cycle and don't have sex regularly at that time then it's possible you just missed it.

If you have been actively trying or having sex throughout the month then I'm afraid no one can tell you what is happening other than a Dr. What is making you feel scared to have that conversation? Are you worried about what you might find out or having the conversation itself?

There could be different reasons why you might not be conceiving. It could be related to your ovulation or your partner's sperm. People often forget that the man also plays a big part in fertility!!! The only way to find out is to do some tests and even then, it can take time to figure out what is going on.

Best of luck xxx

Hi @Janefx40,

My problem is I previously reached out to my doctors and he made me feel so little and made me feel terrible just because I'm young and was just very rude (male doctor). I do track my periods and know when and we would have sex over that period of time. But I tried ovulation tests for two months and I was just getting a flashing smiley face instead of a static smiley face meaning I never hit the peak.

Thank you for your advice xx

Hi @Sloan123 I'm so sorry you had a negative response from your Dr. For what it's worth I can empathise from the other side - I was already aged 40 when I started trying and felt like everyone was judging me too for being too old!!! Maybe you could ask to see a different Dr? Also, I know it is hard, but sorting out fertility can be a long journey and you need to prepare yourself to fight for your rights to be taken seriously - that would be the case whatever your age.

Having had kids later in life, I don't think any age is better than another. They each have advantages and disadvantages. Ultimately it's about what you feel is right for you.

If you kept getting flashing smiley faces it is possible you didn't ovulate but equally you could have a very brief LH peak. That does happen to some people who then need to test more than once a day to find it. But I guess combining that with the lack of pregnancy, maybe you do want to get tested.

If you manage to get tests done then make sure they do them on the right days. In my experience most GPS are utterly clueless when it comes to fertility testing.

Best of luck xxx

@Janefx40 has given some really good advice, I hope you feel empowered to visit the GP again @Sloan123

I’m a doctor myself so I was very specific with my GP on what I needed him to do. I can imagine it’s really difficult if you experience the reaction that you had. And would definitely say book in again.

It sounds like you have been trying long enough to warrant basic investigations and a referral to a specialist. You have age on your side but it’s best to know if there’s an issue early on.

@Sloan123 I'm so sorry about the experience you've had. I would definitely rebook with another doctor, ask about getting blood tests and an US scan also your partner will need referral for semen analysis. But certainly where we are they are currently only doing urgent blood tests/scans due to the new lockdown and I'm not sure if that would be happening where you are?
Might not be applicable for you but both of you being a healthy weight and not smoking also will help with fertility xx

A private clinic should be able to do the above too but really your GP should be able to organise all of this xx

@Gardenlady543 and @Roo45 thank you so much for the advice. I think I'm nervous as wrll because of my aged scared incase I'll get judged like the last time.

Definitely go see another doctor. Whatever is going on, you want to know as early as possible so you can adjust your plans accordingly (for instance, have children earlier than you might have planned). There may or may not be an issue but knowing what is what will empower you to make the right decisions for your life and future. That doctor sounds like an arrogant jerk.

Go and see the doctor. Be strong and say you have tried for four years and are worried

They will refer you for blood test in the first instance. You need two tests on specific days of your period. Then your partner will need to have a sperm test too.

Once those are back, you'll get referred to a specialist. You'll need to talk to your partner as there's not much that can happen unless you're both tested

All of this can take a few months so is good to get the ball rolling