Think I just need a handhold

[roxyfoxy89]

So after years of trying and lots of tests we've been diagnosed with unexplained infertility and are due to start IVF this month. I'm terrified! Terrified of the process, terrified it'll make me really ill and terrified it won't work. Does anyone have any words of advice/encouragement?

Hi, I'm really sorry you're feeling low. Coming to terms with needing fertility treatment can be a major thing in itself.

I've done two rounds of ivf so far and physically it's been fine. The scans and injections haven't bothered me. And I was terrified of the impact of the hormones to begin with. If it helps, my consultant says she's never known anyone abandon a cycle because of issues with the meds.

The only hard bit physically for me was egg collection (but second time I knew what to expect and it was much less of a big deal), and then mentally the days between egg collection and day five / six when you're getting updates from the embryologist.

I'm expecting to do my first transfer in Feb, so can't comment on that yet.

Just remember that ivf and infertility are really hard and it's totally normal to feel like you are. But you'll get through this first round. If you can, telling a couple of people you trust that you're going through it can help. I didn't want to tell the world and his wife, but having a couple of people in addition to my DH who knew what we were going through on a day to day basis was really helpful.

Very best wishes with it all.

@msgloria thanks so much for your response, it's really helpful and means a lot.
It's the egg collection I'm most worried about, mainly the sedation as I don't like being out of control. I've had lots of scans and a hycosy but this is the one I'm really nervous about! It makes me think if I'm scared to do this, how the hell am I going to go through pregnancy and child birth!

After my first egg collection my pelvic area felt a bit tender for a couple of days, but I don't think I even needed any painkillers. I also felt a bit weepy when I came round from the sedation.

The second time I didn't feel any pain or tenderness afterwards at all. I also knew I'd feel a bit emotional waking up after how I felt the first time, so when I woke up the second time and it happened I was able to recognise the feeling and quickly process it.

I know what you mean about wanting to be in control. The sedation in my case was so quick each time that, when I came round in the ward area, I wondered if it had even happened. Honestly you'll just deal with it. But do tell the anaesthetist and theatre nurse how you're feeling and they should reassure you and talk you through it.

I probably shouldn’t say this but the drugs I had for egg collection were lovely! It wasn’t general anaesthetic but something to induce deep sleep, I woke up feel very happy and relaxed.

Part of what help me I think was having milestones along the way. So I would almost look forward to starting the next part as it meant I was making progress.

Don’t get me wrong it isn’t a pleasant thing to go through but I think when you are going through the process and just take it one day at a time it is less daunting.

Good luck!

Firstly I think it's completely normal to feel how you are and you are not alone in that. It can feel so lonely and sad not being able to conceive when you see others are you getting pregnant but take some comfort in the fact we are all here and going through similar things and you are not alone

I have been terrified of EC also. Spoke to my nurse about it and my fears and she really reassured me that it was a quick procedure and a lot less pain then HyCoSy. She mentioned the drugs would be like being at a really good party haha (we are Scotland so we don't get sedated for it). She mentioned I'd be in and out within ten minutes or so. We're due EC around the end of Feb so I can update then.

Good luck with your journey and know you'll always have support in this forum

Don't want to repeat whats been said so well already. Has it been quite quick from being told unexplained to starting IVF? I found that really hard and needed time to process and wouldn't say I'm 100% there after 10 months later.
I've definitely felt a lot better since I actually started posting here and talking to people in similar circumstances.

I have no experience of this but I wanted to say I really feel for you, roxyfoxy. I knew a couple with unexplained infertility and it was particularly difficult for them. Our bodies are funny things.

Good luck with ivf, you're very brave to go through that.

@roxyfoxy89 this was me a few months ago, what you are feeling is totally normal! Personally I did have mild physical side effects but were manageable and egg collection absolutely fine! my embryo transfer was a little difficult due to a narrow cervix but that hasn't happened to anyone else I know.
You should be well monitored during your cycle so if needed things can be tweaked, and this forum is a fantastic resource of info and support. It can feel really isolating and stressful and knowing you aren't alone I think is helpful, it was for me anyway!
I would echo some of the advice above try and take things one day at a time if you can it's very easy to become overwhelmed. I was so stressed throughout my cycle, it failed unfortunately which I don't think was a result of my stress but I do want to try and go into the next cycle more relaxed if I possibly can ( I am a natural worrier so we will see!)
If it's helpful for you your clinic should have access to counselling?
Good luck xx

@Westnorwood haha thanks, I have had sedation for a colonoscopy before and I do remember being a lovely feeling!

@pixelflowerI had my first consultation back in May. I knew if nothing happened between then and now that I'd be offered IVF, so I suppose I have had time to consider it. I was kind of hoping that it wouldn't come to this, but if this is the only way it'll happen then so be it! Thanks for your support :)

@Roo45 thanks so much for your message. You're right about being monitored and things being tweaked as I go along, it gives me comfort remembering that! My clinic does offer counselling however it hasn't been mentioned to me yet. I have my prep appointment next week so hopefully they'll mention it then!

Hi. Physically, I had no issues at all with ivf. I’d had a few ops prior though so gave me insight into scans, sedation, anaesthetic etc. Discomfort at worst, was my experience. It’s the emotional side that I found to be hardest by far. Will the follicles grow, then it’s will they collect enough eggs, then will they fertilise, will they survive until transfer (or will they thaw), will they take, it’s constant and there seem so many hurdles.. I don’t think there’s anything anyone can say to help with that part of it. It’s like holding your breath for two months. The only thing that helped me I guess was from the start telling myself it would in all likelihood take three rounds to work. It didn’t lessen the disappointment after failure but did help me move on. (Mine did also work on third attempt). Wishing you all the best in this journey. Stay strong xx