Anxious about first appointment

[CycleGirl20]

I have my first appointment on the 4th January. I'm getting a bit anxious about it. I know they're gonna weigh me, and I'm defo a bit on the chubby side at the moment (BMI 28/9). I was skinnier (24/25bmi) until lockdown and TTC not working 6 months in when I decided for some reason to try eating a bit more to see if my restrictive diet was causing my TTC issue. I think like many women, I need fewer than the recommended intake 1500-1600 Cals a day (173cm tall) rather than 2000.

I've been dieting for 3-4 weeks now and have lost a bit, but with Christmas in the way between now and the 4th it's a bit of an awkward time. I'm definitely gonna stick to the diet over Xmas, but I don't wanna cap off a crap year with absolutely no treats at Xmas so not expecting massive weight loss by the 4th.

I'm basically expecting the appointment to be that I go in, they weigh me and loudly talk about my weight infront of my other half. Then I'm kinda outed and ashamed. It's already a bit of a battle to not end up too down on myself having not got pregnant by now.

Anyone had experiences or worries about this?

Hi, I'm on the heavier side (BMI around 28) and had similar worries but it really wasn't that bad. The majority of the assessment was about other aspects and the weight bit was just a couple of questions about our weights and lifestyles, popping onto the scales and recalculating BMI. There might be more of a discussion if your BMI came back above the cut-off limit, but as it was the chat didn't bother me nearly as much as I'd expected.

I also had an appointment after a pregnancy loss where I still had to lose some of the pregnancy-related weight. I'd been worried that my BMI might be above the cut-off but it turned out it wasn't. When I said that I was worried, the doctor reassured me that even if it was a bit over, they wouldn't kick me out or send me to the back of any waiting lists - worst case scenario was that I might need to get re-checked in a couple of months to make sure I'd lost it.

@CycleGirl20 I have my first appointment on 5th January - via Skype though. I know how you feel about not wanting to cap off the year with no treats at Christmas. I've signed forms to confirm that my BMI is under 30, but I haven't actually been weighed by a medical professional.
I hope your appointment goes ok. I'm very anxious about mine and what's to come 😔

Thanks both. I'm in two minds as to whether to email them and ask them if I can skip the weigh-in or have a private one. Im not quite at the IVF stage so I'm not sure if it's relevant.

@CycleGirl20 you could always give them a call and ask what will happen at the first appointment? I'm anxious myself!

@CycleGirl20 do you know what the BMI cut off is? If it needs to be under 30 then at your height you need to weigh less than 90 kilos. If you're borderline I'm sure they would reduce the figure a bit to take into account winter clothing.

Obviously if you can keep it a bit lower it would be good for your health and hopefully pregnancy.

If you want to contact them to ask about not being weighed in front of your partner do that, but don't ask not to be weighed as it would sound like you're over the limit when in fact you are not.

The scales at my hospital was a chair you sat on, the weighing was done at the start and then they took your height to calculate BMI.
The rest of the first appointment was lifestyle questions and asking how long youve been together, how often you have sex, pattern of your periods, any spotting or long cycles, any childhood issues with DH including mumps.

Even if you're not at the IVF stage they may be able to offer some help.

Thanks all. Feeling a little better.

I think being tall doesn't help, although I've heard it both ways. A little extra weight and it's easy to end up in the 80kgs being 174/5ft8or9. Never makes me feel very feminine. I'm not too worried about my health at the moment as I'm eating a lot of veg, don't smoke, drinking little alcohol and doing 3x7km runs in the week plus a long cycle (70km) at the weekends and still sticking to the ~1500-600cals.

I find it super frustrating tho that I have to be really careful with what I eat and then there are people who eat a tonne and are skinny. There's also the ones who smoke and drink and eat chips and then get pregnant 😂😭

@CycleGirl20 my clinic have already told me that I will have to go in alone for all appointments. DH will only go in for his seemingly minor role in proceedings, the rest of the time he'll be waiting in the car! So you may actually find that you don't need to worry about being weighed in front of your DP.

Good luck with it all 💐