Looking for Guidance

[LoveACoffeeAndCake]

Been TTC for 25 cycles with not even a day late period so haven’t taken any pregnancy tests , went to GP in August who did blood tests, my hormones were fine but I had low VitD so was prescribed this for 3 months.
In November was referred to infertility specialist (no contact from them yet).
Also in November DH referred for SA which was “inconclusive” so he needs to repeat - can’t book second appointment until after New Year.

I’m 33, DH 38
My questions are, do we carry on in NHS, we are eligible for help on NHS and our area does one round of IVF but only if you have never had a previous round (NHS or private)?

Or on the basis we are almost 5 months in from seeing GP and still not seen a specialist do we look into going privately, it looks like it might be a MFI based on very very limited information (my regular periods and ok hormone test and DH inconclusive SA)?

I think it would cost c£5k per round but would maybe go with Create’s mild IVF - has anyone tried this?

We are willing to pay for 3 rounds, but I’m not sure whether to go through NHS round then do 3 privately if it doesn’t work or just do 3 privately.

Or do we go down to London for a specialist MFI clinic (if that’s the problem)?

You'd be eligible on the NHS from the info you've given assuming neither of you already has children. The wait times are pretty long at the moment though - I know some people are being told 1-2 years wait. If you are only eligible for the one cycle and you can afford I'd just go private.

I did mild IVF with create - bear in mind that the costs do add up. By the time we added in the following we were looking at a bill more like £8k

• support package
• ICSI - sounds like you'd need this if there are sperm issues
• drugs
• freezing and storage
• any frozen transfers

It does work out cheaper to do the 3 cycle package though. For cycles 3-5 I did the 3 cycle package of natural modified Ivf with ICSI with Create and cost for everything was £13.5k - took a 5 year loan out for £275 a month And I'm pregnant with twins from this package with 2 more top quality blastocysts frozen

Sperm test results can vary wildly - my DH probably gave 7 samples over 18 months as we did 5 cycles of IVF in that time - sometimes results were awful sometimes they were better than national average. Without knowing his specific results difficult to say whether a MFI clinic would make any difference - Create would be able to do the same tests and advise of any treatment required

If money tight you could always look at ABC which is Creates sister clinic Which offers a no frills basic service if you meet the criteria and works out about half the cost x

Neither of us have any children, we would be eligible for NHS but given we have been trying for 2 years with no luck and we have been waiting 5 months and still not done a SA that they are willing to give us the results from or had any appointments with a specialist I’m leaning towards going private. Neither of us are getting any younger and DH will be 40 next year.

We could afford to spend £15k, having had two separate lots of friends spend over £60k and still not been successful and seeing the impact on their lives emotionally and financially I want to decide on a budget before we start as I can see myself getting a bit obsessed and spending money we don’t have. I hoped that £15k would give us 3 rounds and if it doesn’t work at least we tried but we won’t have got ourselves into a mess financially.

Wow 2 long paragraph sentences sorry!

Definitely set yourself a limit - we said 3 cycles and £20k but we were a bit naive I think with what we'd get for that and we also decided to PGS test on one of the cycles. In the end we did 5 cycles and spent £35k. We also set a time limit - originally 12 months - after which we would move on with our lives

Yes it is addictive as you tell yourself that the next one will be the one that works or that you need to try a different protocol to satisfy yourself that there wasnt anything could have tried but didnt. I don't regret for a second the money we've spent. We remortgaged for the first £20k and did the loan for the remainder. In 4 years the loan will be paid off and the remortgage bit we hardly notice.

I'd say £15k would get you 2 cycles. I don't think you'd get 3 from that? But your age is on your side at 33. My DH was also 40 when we started. You won't know how you'll respond until after the first cycle - you could be lucky and get 5 or more transferable blastocysts from that or you could just get 1 - it's such a gamble but you'll never know unless you try x

The emotional and financial strain is something that worries me. It’s frustrating that we aren’t really any further along than we were 5 months ago. I wish we had gone to the GP earlier but Covid happened and we thought we would wait. I’ve always been very regular with a 25 day cycle. My mum and sisters never had any problems and my granny had a baby at 45!
DH is one of 7 and his brother has had 4 kids with 4 women by accident 😩 - I totally appreciate that other people have different circumstances but we just didn’t think it would be so hard for us. Neither of us smoke or drink, we have healthy BMIs and exercise regularly.
As it is, we are lucky with having a lot of nieces/nephews and if we aren’t successful I‘ve come to terms with not being a parent. I think if we had rushed into IVF I probably wouldn’t be as content with my life, so perhaps the Covid delay has benefited us in a perverse way.
Maybe we need to increase our budget to £20k, do you know anything about the money back guarantee offers that some of the clinics have?

We have used access fertility, so it's a 3 cycle package with a 50% refund if no live birth. They do upto 100% refund but it's all dependant on a medical report from both of you from your chosen clinic (not all clinics work with access) all in with meds it's cost us just over 12k

Sorry forgot to menion with that there is unlimited frozen transfers, so basically if you got say, 4 embryos from a cycle you would have to have them all transferred before starting a new cycle

We looked into the money back guarantees through Access but it's only available with certain clinics - not Create I don't think. We weren't eligible because I'd had multiple miscarriages and ectopic pregnancies. I know people who have done it though and it did take the stress out of the process for them and one couple went on a round the world holiday when theirs didn't work with the money they got refunded x

I was looking online yesterday and I read for my NHS trust that I'd be eligible for NHS funding for one round so long as I'd not had more than 2 private rounds. Can you check the small print, get on the waiting list and do a private round or two in the NHS wait time?

Unfortunately unless they have changed the guidance and I’m reading an out of date one our area will only let you do one round of IVF if you haven’t had any previous rounds private or NHS.

It’s so difficult to know where to start and what the best options are especially as we don’t actually know what the problem is. I guess it’s just a case of picking a clinic and getting the tests and we can always move if we don’t think they are the most suitable if we do get a diagnosis.

DH is still wanting to carry on with NHS but I don’t really see the point in delaying it if we can afford to go privately especially as it feels almost inevitable we will end up paying to go private in the end.

I will defiantly look at ABC, and access as well as create. There are so many clinics to choose between!