Embryo Transfer - The right conditions!

[HarryP123]

Just a Thought!
In normal, natural circumstances, conception takes place where two people are at the height of love making … loving, impassioned, sensitive, tender, caring and comforting conditions.
Perhaps this creates hormonal, biological, chemical and even emotional reactions which induce the woman’s body to conceive?
With IVF, there are suggestions that having sex with an orgasm on the day of transfer promotes successful implantation. Apparently this increases blood circulation to the uterus and, as well as preparing the lining for implantation, blood is what feeds the embryo.
I am not suggesting that this should take place in the clinic. However, what if before treatment, the couple were allowed quiet, tender moments together in empathetic surroundings with warm lighting and romantic music creating the right caring, tender, affectionate and comforting ambience … and what if those conditions could be simulated when embryo transfer were taking place?
Could this be an area which the clinicians, the surgeons have overlooked in achieving IVF success?
Obviously, the clinical process is necessary but I wonder if conception might be much more likely if embryo transfer took place in conditions which emulate that loving ambience wherein children are normally created?
Our first cycle in Prague took place in cold, cheerless and clinical surroundings. During the several transfer procedures, I tried to offer what comfort I could to my dear wife, but such was difficult.
In Newcastle, I wasn’t even allowed to be present due to Covid-19 restrictions. I always feared that the conditions were not right, something 'special' was missing!
I wonder whether any of you ladies who have had IVF success feel that the conditions, the mood, the ambience were right for you at the time of embryo transfer? Maybe the reason success comes after 2, 3 or more attempts is because patients have learned to relax more?
It would be interesting to know if any clinics might experiment with this concept.
What do you think?

The environment for mine was perfect, safe, clinical, clean and professional staff.

Procedures that open the cervix leave you at much higher risk of infection so I would much rather limit 'access' to the Doctor and the sterile catheter.

I mean this with the greatest respect but is this a joke?

I applaud any lady who is in the mood for some action on Egg Collection day but the last thing I was up for after 2 weeks of injecting my bruised belly with copious amounts of drugs was some 'comforting ambience'. I think if my partner had tried this he may have lost an arm. I was just not in that place mentally.

@HarryP123- I do appreciate the point you are trying to make but I agree with @Lauren83 that i really just wanted a safe and professional environment for my IVF procedures. That made me as relaxed as possible for a daunting new experience.

Not to mention the physical pain from having huge swollen ovaries on the days up to and including egg collection! I could barely bend down to put on my socks or get in and out of the car. I would have batted my poor husband right off if he’d tried this 😂

This can’t be a serious post, if someone really watched their wife go through everything we go through I doubt this would be a suggested concept...

This sounds like another way to say 'just relax' and I agree that it seems it a joke post. And anyone going through this process will know that it is THE most unhelpful comment that can possibly be said. If you are genuine then your wife has not at all explained to you how she is feeling through this process and I suggest you have a chat with her

Sorry, since my wife has at all times had frozen embryo transplants, I had not considered the situation for those who underwent fresh transplants. Also, my understanding is that current thinking is on the lines that frozen transfer is the way forward. Maybe I am over-protective of my wife who is somewhat new to this country.
I do, however, appreciate your comments.
Perhaps I was also mislead by various articles on the subject which suggest that 'intercourse' before implant might lead to greater success >>>
www.gmsivf.com/about/patients/instructions/how-to-improve-your-ivf-success-rate/#:~:text=On%20the%20day%20of%20the,beneficial%20and%20promotes%20successful%20implantation.

www.researchsquare.com/article/rs-48030/v1

www.bellybelly.com.au/conception/embryo-transfer-success-rate/

drandreworr.com.au/sex-around-the-time-of-embryo-transfer-increases-the-likelihood-of-successful-early-embryo-implantation-and-development/

It seems obvious from all of your experiences that these people (noticeably most men) are talking out of their hats, particularly where fresh transfers take place.
Never mind, we live and learn!

"something 'special' was missing"

You joker @HarryP123

Genuinely, this has given me chuckle.

@HarryP123 what wonderful articles. Way to put extra pressure on women. I particularly liked the one where it said we are harming our chances of pregnancy by not having regular sex during ivf treatment.

I think OP you are having a laugh with this post.

I mean after almost two years of trying naturally there was no way candles and nice music to create the ambience was on the agenda.

As it was MFI we could have been 20 years trying and still not got there.

The reason success is maybe more likely after more attempts is the fact the medical team may have a better understanding of the particular difficulties faced by the couple and how the medication can be changed accordingly.

There is no way on earth you can create an ambiance when doing egg collection or transfer because having several people look at my lady parts and stick things up there and poke and prod around was not going to do anything for me at all. 🤔🥸🙄

Harry I can’t take you seriously. This board is not a satire for your entertainment. I honestly don’t think your being serious and we can all take a joke but to suggest having sex during a highly emotional time for ‘better success’ is borderline dangerous.
I’m a believer of science as are most women with IVF whom some are grieving due to loss. Is this necessary. If so to put it frank, I don’t think an embryo gives two shits whether Michael buble will be playing in the background with some jasmine candles when implanted. I mean I guess that’s how you envision it right!? For better success rates?

On your bike love, this is a forum that’s serious and I for one don’t think your comments are very appropriate .

I was fine with not having my partner present during the transfer, I also didn’t want his penis poking up there right after (sorry for the TMI!). The nurses were fully supportive and reassuring.

If your wife feels comfortable and wants to have sex with you before or after the procedure then that’s up to her. But I would have resented being told that I should do this to increase my chances.

It meant a lot to know my husband was driving me to appointments and looking after me. Sex was the last thing on my mind at the time of the transfer.

Apart from all the very sensible objections above, embryo transfer (fresh or frozen) is usually done when the embryo is 3-5 days old - i.e. at least 3-5 days after 'sperm meets egg'. And probably longer as sperm lives for up to 5 days in the female body So your timing of concepts doesn't line up.

I think that, like a lot of people, there may be some gaps in your understanding of how reproduction works. There is considerable evidence that conception does not require a nice, loving environment and instead depends on a viable egg meeting a viable sperm in an environment in which they can join and then grow (which depends upon multiple factors over a prolonged period, not a short-term fix). A loving setting in which everyone involved is nice, but not essential. If it were essential, how would you explain that conception can occur after (trigger warning) sexual assault? We need to move away from this idea and be more aware of the science of our own bodies instead.

Harry, if you are genuinely trying to support your wife, it's fine for the two of you to look around for a clinic where you both feel comfortable. It sounds like what you're envisaging is a highly bespoke and rather alternative approach though - you're unlikely to find that without a very high price tag being attached. The majority of clinics put their focus on good quality clinical practice, which tends to require a clinical environment.

I am truly sorry that most of you have taken objection to my suggestion.
I can, however, tell you that I am acutely aware of the discomfort and anguish you ladies endure in attempting to conceive. I have had children in a previous marriage who died tragically, hence my new wife wishing to conceive, long story. Despite her never having had children, IVF Regulations dictate we must pay!
Perhaps our experience has been rather different to your own, which has coloured my judgement.
In our case we both suffered absolute torture, obviously my wife far more than myself.
My wife suffered horrendous OHSS on our first visit to what appeared to be an ethical clinic in Prague.
Her lungs filled with fluid and she was rushed to a local hospital where we we told that she arrived just in time. She was in absolute agony and could have died.
The hospital was nothing like what we expect here in the UK! It was bleak, friendless and no one spoke proper English. She could barely understand what was happening and I was not allowed to visit except for seeing her for about half an hour each day through the door of the ward. She had no idea what her meals were going to be and spent a week in a very painful and distressed state.
Added to that, my wife is a Filipino and there was obvious racial discrimination, (cold-shouldered, snide looks, whispering and finger pointing etc) aside from underlying resentment that a 'private clinic' had lumbered them with their problem. She was a lost soul and I was left utterly helpless to offer her any real comfort.
Meanwhile the clinic advised us that they had frozen our embryos and that they would transfer these Free of Charge on our return, 3 months later.
When we returned, they reneged on this and, at the last minute, angrily insisted we pay up, creating a horrible atmosphere. Needless to say, the embryo transfer was unsuccessful.
After that, it took her long while to pluck up the courage to face more IVF and she without a doubt wanted me by her side for maximum support and reassurance!
Perhaps this might explain my outlook to you, but I can well see that, for most, your situation has been very different. Thank you all for giving me a very different perspective. That said, please don't condemn me for caring too much!

@HarryP123 it’s very clear that this has been a difficult process for both of you, especially your wife. It is understandable that you would want to comfort her, but I think sex is probably not the best solution.

Do you think your wife would benefit from coming on the forum herself? It sounds like she could use some support from women who are going through the same experience as her, especially since she has at times been quite isolated during her past hospital admissions. I can’t even imagine how she must feel right now going into another cycle, when she has been so unwell in her past cycles. Please make sure she is ready and in the right mindset before her next cycle begins.

Harry, that sounds like a horrendous experience for you both - I would strongly recommend finding out as much as you can about clinics in advance and ideally visiting or doing virtual tours to get a look at the reality rather than the glossy brochure.

The environments will tend to be clinical, but clinical does not mean harsh or bleak. And there is no room in healthcare for any racial discrimination - if you or your wife encounter it, report it and don't tolerate it!

Thanks for your concern and understanding.
As I have had treatment for cancer, we are advised not to have sex anyway ... hence my sperm being frozen.
TBH, sex is not an issue ... we are perfectly happy being together, sharing a life with lots of smiles and cuddles. She has had an horrendous life, being kept as a virtual slave and abused as a child, so you can see why I am ultra-protective of her. Being much older, I just want to see her blossom and enjoy a full and happy life which, as a vibrant (though very 'private') young lady, she is now doing ... giving birth will be her fulfillment and we will do all we can to achieve this.
We are certainly doing extensive research, my coming on here being part of same, and we have attended several Fertility Shows where we have met many of those involved with various clinics.
Meanwhile, she gets support from her Filipino friends, several of whom have had successful IVF treatment. (There does seem to be an unidentified problem with Caucasian males and Asian women, to which even clinics have (privately) admitted!?)
We will get there in the end!

OP I'm so sorry that you and you wife went through that.

But there has been a small study regarding laughing after a transfer has increased success but the issue with IVF trails of this manner, there is no way in know if the tested group would have gotten pregnant had they been in the control, due to the amount of factors that can be present.

Well done for showing an active interest, mine has done zero research and I think read half a book on IVF!

Don't they advise against sex prior to egg collection?

Sounds like you just want a shag, mate!