How long did you try before IVF?

[CycleGirl20]

Wondering how long people waited, and how long you would wait in hindsight?

Over two years (nearly two and a half). I was 34. I think I wouldn't have done it much earlier (maybe 6 months earlier).

My mental health was REaLLY bad for a time there when I finally acknowledged the reality and that was about 6 months before we did ivf (at the same time my career totally collapsed). Had we done ivf then, maybe it all would have come to a head 6 months earlier, or maybe it wouldn't have worked...

Age is a HUGE factor to take into consideration.

I couldn’t try due to a psychosexual problem, I’m not too far off my 40th birthday and I’ve just been given the green light for a referral to the IUI clinic.

10 months and I asked the GP to refer us. I told them it was a year, but our GP was lovely and said 8 months was long enough to try in his opinion. I think I gave it the right amount of time, I was 34, I just knew in my bones something was wrong and my mental health was going down the pan. It then took another year while they did all the tests on both of us, we tried a few rounds of clomid, then coronavirus happened folled by a cancelled round and a failed IUI, before we got properly into the IVF in November.

12 months for us. I am 35 and live a healthy lifestyle, there was nothing I could change to improve my situation and I wanted the reassurance of some frozen embryos at this age for the future. I have just had my first fresh cycle, it was unsuccessful but I have 8 frozen blastocytes, so going to have a FET in the new year.

We waited about 4 years. Thought that since I had tried to be relaxed about it that it didn't actually count as trying. It took talking to someone else who'd had trouble and speaking to my mum about it to finally go to the gp. I'm 35 now and due to start IVF in January. I wish I'd gone much sooner, probably the two year point.

Thanks all. I'm 35 and on month 10. How did you talk to your other half about it? Mine is so laid back he thinks it'll just happen but i think we need help at this point

6 years before referral, and it's looking like almost 8 before I'll get a shot at a cycle.

@CycleGirl20 my partner was the same, also he really enjoyed the trying! But for me hitting 35 was an important milestone, egg quality deteriorates significantly from then. I want more than one child and I had no evidence that I could even get pregnant, I couldn’t just try forever and the impact of negative tests and a period every month got harder and harder.

The first step is to see a clinic to have the standard tests done, that will let you know if there is an underlying issue. I remember a user on here saying how she had an abnormality picked up on the tests that meant she could never conceive naturally, she had been fobbed off for ages and wished she had just forked out a few hundred pounds and found out a lot sooner.

Our tests were normal so the specialist said we could keep trying for a bit longer, but my mind was already set on the IVF. You will need to pay privately as you wouldn’t meet nhs criteria at 10 months of trying, so I guess the first question will need to be around the financial side of things once you’ve had the tests and you’re considering proceeding. My husbands only role in the IVF was to produce a sperm sample on the day and drive me to appointments, whereas you will need to go through a lot, so you need to make sure it’s something you want to do.

I've been debating this too.

After about 10 cycles we paid for a couples fertility assessment which showed my DH had low morphology but everything else looked ok. We were told to keep trying and if nothing happened in 5/6 months to do IVF.

After another 5 cycles we went to a different clinic where they recommended additional tests, and this time my DH has low morphology and count.

I have 1 more cycle of trying and then we're doing IVF.

I do feel like maybe I'm jumping the gun but I'm 37 and my DH is 44. We already have a 2 year old conceived naturally on 2nd month of trying, so we don't know if our fertility was better than or whether we just got extremely lucky.

It can take a long time to get the tests sorted out so I think that's a good starting point as at least you'll know the situation.

@CycleGirl20

Thanks all. I'm 35 and on month 10. How did you talk to your other half about it? Mine is so laid back he thinks it'll just happen but i think we need help at this point

My DH was like this - very much a why do today what you can put off until tomorrow/next week sort of bloke.

In the end I just showed him all the statistics of age and infertility and how it was only going to get worse and then made all the appointments and told him when to show up

First time we waited around 12 months age 32 but DH was on antidepressants and even though GP told him there was no effect on male infertility everything I read suggested the opposite - I demanded tests and turns out I was right

Second time I had 4 miscarriages and an ectopic and felt the NHS weren't helping so turned to IVF clinics

Hi guys, I'm 34 partner 36 we have a 9 year old, when she was 3 i fell pregnant for the 2nd time but mc at 14 weeks, we left it a couple of years before trying again , went for tests after 12 months of trying all results came back clear, been trying on and off for last 2 1/2 years but still nothing. Will have to go through all tests again before starting ivf would you recommend going to a private ivf clinic?

I'm 28 and been with my partner almost seven years, we have used contraception the majority of that time. So I'd say it was around five years before we went to GP (Oct 2019)
We weren't actively trying a lot of that, and maybe a good 1.5 years of trying with opks etc.
So quite a while for us. Knowing how long this wait has been and still to go I wish we had gone earlier but it is what it is.

@Vix25666 I don't think the nhs would offer you more tests and definitely not ivf as you both have a child. So private is your way forward.

Check out the hfea for clinic stats.

I have my NHS round of IVF in January or February. We will have been trying for 15 months. I'm now 35.
A GP told me earlier in the year that I wasn't pregnant because I'm not relaxed enough . I've since discovered that my AMH is lower than we would want and there is also a slight male factor issue.
I'm very anxious about IVF 😩

We have tried for 12 months with OPKs and have our first consultation (inc. AMH and sperm analysis) next month. From there we expect to move to IVF pretty quickly if it's thought that it'll help.

I had all my bloods done with the GP but have reached a dead end with them now, since we already have a two year old which is likely to preclude us from getting IVF on the NHS.

Yes my gp said I will have to pay which is fine im just unsure what to expect, we get married in 18 months so we're waiting until after to proceed x

About 7yrs but my case was unusual

With hubby. Ttc for a year. Told young at 34 so carry on.

Year later then on waiting list. Was a long one. 2yrs almost

Then at 37 my husband killed his self

Week later got the go ahead for nhs ivf :(

Obv didn’t happen

Year later met a lovely man who had 3 kids in 20’s. So I lost my nhs go

So saved for private

First ivf was 2014

Ttc originally in 2007

@Vix25666 could you consider bringing IVF forward if you're self-funding?

@Vix25666

Yes my gp said I will have to pay which is fine im just unsure what to expect, we get married in 18 months so we're waiting until after to proceed x

I would bring forward Wouid it terrible to have a 4-6mth baby there if succeeds

No I wouldn't be able to cope with going through ivf with the lead up to a wedding I will be 36 years old when we have appointments hoping it's not too late