IVF egg collection after sexual assault

[BananaHammock23]

This might be upsetting for anyone who's experienced the same so proceed with caution...

I'm in the middle of my first round of IVF after two cancelled cycles of IUI (I didn't respond to medication). I'm on day 10 and with the prospect of egg collection looming I'm becoming really anxious about being under general while someone is performing such an intimate procedure.

I was assaulted when I was at uni, coming on 10 years ago. Without wanting to go into too much detail, I had passed out drunk and I woke up to a 'friend' having sex with me. I never reported it at the time, and although I told friends what had happened, it seemed like no one believed me. It was a really horrible time and now egg collection is coming up I'm drawing comparisons between the two events and it's making me so anxious that I'm starting to think I can't go through with it.

I've convinced myself that I'm going to be embroiled in some kind of sex abuse scandal, which I know is absurd. My biggest fear is waking up and not knowing what happened to me. Will the pain I experience is likely to be similar to what I felt after the assault?

Has anyone else experienced anything like this? I'm wondering whether they would allow my partner to be present to assure me nothing untoward happened. I know the other option is staying awake during the egg collection and that fills me with dread, but perhaps not as much. Has anyone else stayed awake for collection?

I have not long had egg collection which when given the drugs for sedation they said some people either go to sleep or stay awake. I hate not been in control of situations so thankfully I was awake through the whole thing. There were alot of people in the room constantly reassuring me and just being lovely. I found the whole experience amazing watching them take the eggs on the screen it was amazing experience for me I didnt even relize what they were doing down there but they also constantly watching the screen to see thr eggs. But looking on here everyone's is different so I just don't know how yours would be but I do wish you all the best xxx

Also my pain after was bad period like cramps no pain down there at all xxxx

Hi @BananaHammock23so sorry to hear about what happened to you 😕.

I thought I’d share my experience as I had an egg collection yesterday. I found the whole process really professional and the team were reassuring throughout:

• there are probably going to be around 10 people in the theatre room so if that helps you feel better, it’s not that you’ll be left sedated and alone with one or two people.
• everyone on the main team came over beforehand to speak to me before the procedure. The doctor doing the collection, nurses, the anaesthetist etc so I felt very comfortable in that they were very professional and knowledgeable.
• the sedation last for about 20 mins. By the time I was out my husband had only just done his sample, it’s really very very quick (and I had loads of eggs too but still wasn’t a long procedure)
• you can try telling your team you’d like to be more aware during, I think they can probably adjust the dose? Not sure as I didn’t ask for this.

I hope this helps and wish you the best with your EC xx

My clinic isn't at a hospital so they only do sedation. It's honestly fine procedure and pain wise. I really do think you need to speak to a nurse at your clinic to tell them your worries. They'll take extra care of you. There's 3 people in the room at my clinic (nurse, doctor, embryologist - all happen to be women). Could you ask for a woman to do the procedure? Do speak up and not suffer in silence.

@Hoping1 that's really helpful, thank you! My fear with sedation is that I'll feel even more out of control than if I was just asleep; if that makes sense? Like it'll make me feel drunk?

@OhPeanuts thank you, so glad to hear your experience was a positive one. Would you share what clinic you're with? It certainly makes me feel a lot better that there are more people in the room but I still have this horrible feeling that if I don't know what's happened, I can never be sure. It's a really tricky mind game I'm playing with myself!

@seven201 thanks for your reply. What does the sedation feel like?? As I said above I'm a bit frightened it'll make me feel drunk which again is a bit of a trigger for me. I will deffo talk to the clinic. We're with the London Women's Clinic I think it can be quite bureaucratic sometimes. I worry that their response won't be a personal one and rather a 'computer says no' type thing.

@BananaHammock23 I can't remember exactly (I have an awful memory!) but I don't remember feeling drunk or any different really. I did nearly throw up (given tablets to stop) when getting changed after, but I'm like that with any anaesthetic. I'm pretty sure they did say some women do start talking random things so it affects people differently is. It's a bit worrying that you don't think your clinic would give a personal response. Hopefully you're incorrect and they'll actually be supportive. You sadly probably won't be the only woman who has a similar history and need extra care so they should know what might help. I'm with a care fertility clinic and I do think they'd be very supportive for something like this.

I didnt feel drunk I felt happy and relax and it was the best thing I have ever seen truly amazing. But talk to your clinic as everyone different they there to help xxxx

From experience the sedation will mean you have a short period of feeling like you have been asleep, I was never aware of anything and never had any tenderness afterwards.

I have also been in theatre for egg collections and like said there will be several people in the room, usually the Doctor, the anaesthetist, a nurse/HCA and an embryologist, you will get to speak with all of these people before the procedure so do let them know of your concerns, they are usually able to tweak the level of sedation too so have a conversation with them about that if you may feel better with more or less.

They won't let your partner in but is there maybe a nurse you have become familiar with? You could ask if they can be in theatre to support you? It may be a little trickier now though with Covid

Feeling drunk wasn’t something l experienced. I just felt like l had had a brief afternoon nap, after a busy tiring few days? I was very alert but refreshed when l came round and wasn’t out long. I got 18 eggs but was only gone about 15 minutes my fiancé reckons.

As others have said there were a fair amount of people in the room. Maybe 7 or 8? Both women and men

Not much discomfort at all afterwards, not even period cramp type pains and only a little blood. The bloated feeling was my worst sensation to be honest and it wasn’t even that bad.

Good luck with it all @BananaHammock23