Low sperm count - how do I support my partner

[Gsr14]

Hi,
My partner and I have just had the results of our initial tests from the clinic and where I’ve come back with normal results my partner has been told his sperm count is very low at 3 million and low morphology at 2%.

This has been a massive blow to him and he’s really depressed about it. I’m trying so hard to keep him positive but he’s absolutely heartbroken with the results and I know he’s blaming himself for our ttc troubles (which isn’t necessarily true as we still both have more test to go).

He’s got to go for another analysis in a couple of months to check the test wasn’t an anomaly so trying to help make sure we do everything we possible can to improve the next result.

Its so hard to see him this way, does anyone have any advice on how I can support him? I know as a woman I will never be able to truly understand how this is affecting him and his ‘manhood’

Hey!

Sorry to hear this. The only supporting factor I can think of is at least you have an answer for things and something to work on.

Look up some victims he can take to try improve things, diet changes and lifestyle changes etc and try support him through that.

Also try look to it that if all it takes is one, 3 million gives you a good chance! It gives you something to work with and if it came down to IVF you would get some sperm for that.

Will you be considering IVF options or continuing naturally? He might find it hard seeing what you have to go through for IVF due to his low sperm count so that's another thing to consider

Hey. For me, it’s the opposite way around and I’m the one with the problem and my hubby is fine. I can imagine he feels like some of his masculinity is lost, he may feel like he’s let you and perhaps his parents down. He’ll feel ashamed. These are all things I felt (but for me it was my womanhood though) One thing I’ve never ever worried about though is that my husband is annoyed at me for being the one with the issue, or that he might leave me for someone who could give him a child. Right from the start he’s said that we’re in this together. I make jokes that I’m infertile but he always says “no, WE’RE infertile”. He always makes sure I know I’m not alone. That’s my advice, make sure he knows he’s not alone, and you’re working as a team to get through this and it’s never his fault. It’s just sh**ty bad luck, it’s no ones fault.

Hi, it is incredibly difficult. My DH has an even lower sperm count (at 200k following treatment when it was previously 10) and 1% morphology but at least we knew the reason (childhood cancer).

It's really hard for both of you to come to terms with the idea that you will likely never conceive a child in the traditional romantic way. For me that was the hardest thing to let go of.

But even with 200k our doctors still are confident that we will conceive via ICSI (a type of IVF) so I am sure with more than 10 times the number you guys will be able to as well.

Start looking into ICSI and also see a urologist as there may be a physical reason behind it inc varicosels which are easily fixable. Or may be due to hormones which can be fixed with clomid and no ivf needed.

There are people with 0 sperm that go onto to have kids through treatment or surgically retrieved sperm so at 3mill you still are at a good starting point.

In the meantime just reassure him that you're in this together, that you love him no matter what and that even the worst case scenerios he can still become a dad as biology doesn't a father make.

@willithappen thanks so much for your advice. We will carry on trying naturally and carry on going down the fertility clinic route. We are in the beginning stages of it all so still working everything out but definitely up to try IVF or anything else that the clinic recommends us eventually when all investigations are done.

@Bells3032 @Pumpkinspice77 you’ve both got me here crying at the dining table with your amazing responses.

You are totally right, we are completely in this together and I wouldn’t dream of making him feel any other way than loved and supported. It’s an us thing not a him thing and just bad luck at the end of the day.

We purposely haven’t done a huge amount of research on IVF so that we don’t jump the gun but maybe we’ll start looking into it as that might reassure us a bit :)

Thank you so so much