TTC after miscarriage and nothing happening

[sophied1983]

Anyone else in the same boat?

It's been 20 months since our m/c. We have a 4 y/o and it took 7 months with her and I had really irregular cycles then (up to 50 days). It then took 4 months to conceive with the m/c. But since then, nothing, apart from a suspected chemical pregnancy in Jan this year.

I find my periods so bloody hard. The hamster wheel of hope and then crushing disappointment.

How do you get into a headspace where you're trying (because you're not on contraception), but not trying in that you don't let it consume your thoughts constantly and affect your mood?! Or am I after the impossible?

It's very hard not to let it take over your every thought. I found every period was mentally kind of crushing. To be honest, I never really found a way to cope with it other than distraction and trying to plan to keep busy when I knew my periods were likely to arrive. I always avoided testing too unless I was really late as I found negative tests crushing. I have quite painful periods so would usually spend day 1 wallowing and then try and plan stuff with DH to take my mind off everything.

Have you had any kind of investigation in to why your period is irregular? Depending on your age, 20 months is about the time I would look at seeing your GP and asking for some blood tests etc

And your mind plays such cruel tricks. Even the spotting before my period I convince myself it's implantation.

People tell me to stop putting so much pressure on myself - but how do you do that?!

The GP is repeating a few tests on me - got bloods to try and time with period this cycle. But they said if any issue does get diagnosed, they can sort a referral but we'd have to pay for a treatment as we have a daughter. Fair enough to prioritise those who haven't been able to conceive at all.

I get so frustrated with my body as it's managed to get pregnant before.

I feel sad that my last experience of pregnancy ended in loss. But then what do we do - endlessly try? I feel my life (career etc.) has been on pause for over two years.

My cycles have settled to 27-32 days all year, was so pleased and found that easier to deal with. Then this last one was 43 days and all those extra days were torture. I was so upset when my period arrived.