Have I finally lost it? Feeling really guilty

[Fro93]

Don’t really know why I’m posting- maybe I just need a hand hold? :/ and also feeling really guilty. It’s tricky to explain to others not going through this.

TTC18 months now. I have a lap booked in 2 weeks (postponed from tomorrow), confirmed PCOS, possible endo and a hell of a lot of pelvic pain.

My 38wk pg friend who doesn’t really think about these things (got pregnant first try lucky!) has just said the lap is “just another step on the journey to becoming parents”. I know she means well... I know she does! But she doesn’t really listen :/ And it upsets me

I replied

“That’s one way of looking at it but it’s a step that 10% of women shouldn’t have to take. It’s appalling they’ve left me in so much pain for so long. And it’s not normal to have to fight- baby plans or no baby plans.
Sorry that’s just my rant and I get tetchy over it so not meaning to offend but it shouldn’t have to be a step really :/ 18 months down the line. It’s tricky to explain lol”

I forced myself to attend her baby shower which fell between a few ultrasounds I had, as didn’t want to let her down. It was tough.

Sheltered her from a lot of detail of what ive been through because I didn’t want to put a downer on her news but this evening I’ve finally lost it and I feel so bad.

I think we’re ok now as we got onto talking about other things (she ignored my message completely) but have I been out of line? I can’t help but feel I’ve been awful to a heavily pregnant woman

Ahh it's so hard. Your friend means well but it's hard to hear someone with no clue about how difficult it can be, be so very positive - sometimes you just want someone to say 'god that's awful I'm so sorry your going through this'

I have friends who don't get it, sometimes I have to gently explain that I can't handle blind positivity, but I appreciate the gesture.

Maybe best to have these conversations over the phone / in person rather than over text. Why don't you give her a call tomorrow and have a heart to heart x

I think you were a tad harsh. It sounds like she was trying to be kind and supportive. It’s actually a nice message compared to some of the insensitive things I’ve heard said to women struggling to conceive. I can understand why you feel the way you do though. It’s a tricky one

It's really hard...I know people mean well but they really can't understand without having gone through it themselves! I have a friend who is pregnant and another who's recently given birth and of course the problems they are having are valid for them but there are some days I find it difficult to deal with. And when they tell me not to worry about getting pregnant I don't really know how to respond.
Don't feel guilty, I think we all go through it at some point. Sending love x