Struggling TTC

[Rosie189]

Hello

My husband and I have been TTC for a little over a year. So far we’ve been unsuccessful and I’m starting to struggle mentally to deal with it. I feel everything is against us and feeling very down about it.

I have very heavy periods and always have done. I was on the pill for 10 years to help manage my signs but came off it around 2 years ago for other health reasons. Since coming off the pill my periods have been irregular. I’ve been to the dr about this but felt quite brushed off regarding my issues. I did have blood test to check for pics which came back as normal and blood work and a FSH level which was also normal. I strongly suspect I have endometriosis. I know i need to as now having worsening cramps and often spotting for a week before my 8 day period.

My husband works away for a couple of weeks at a time. Often this means we miss months were dates don’t work out for TTC.

The past 3 months things have worked out well I’ve been doing OPK but we’ve had no luck. I’m really struggling with how I’m feeling about it. Especially today. My husband has gone back offshore after a prolonged period at home and my period has started. I know people say to try and feel excited for another opportunity to try but in my case dates will probably mean we won’t be able to try till November.

I’m at a bit of a loss on what to do. I feel miserable. I know I should make a gp appt but almost want to ignore the issue. I’m worried my husbands job will eventually mean we miss out on having kids. My job is stressful and had a complete role change since covid and also presents risks for pregnancy so the constant 2 ww are driving me mad. I’m spiralling into overthinking leading me to wonder if we should even be having kids with climate change and covid (we do desperately want them). I find myself getting really tearful around my period not like me and struggling to get through the day. I find myself being jealous of mums and pregnancy announcements.

Has anyone else been in a similar situation TTC with husbands away? Any advice on how to deal with the emotional aspects?

Hi @Rosie189, sorry to hear about your struggles! It's a very hard journey and totally normal to feel like you are feeling. First thing, you are not alone, there's a great community on here to get lots of support. I can totally understand how your feeling, I have a similar story, I was on the pill for over 10 years, came off and AF was nowhere in sight for months and months. The GP had to give me tablets to induce a bleed a few times, in the end I was diagnosed with PCOS. Have your GP made a referral to a gynaecologist for further investigations due to the irregularities?
Has your husband had a semen analysis done? As much as you need investigations, he also does just in case there's any male factors.
My husband also works offshore for months at a time (he's currently away for over 5 months) so I understand your struggles. I've been through stim injections, egg collection and a cancelled FET alone, and I won't lie it is hard not having him here for support. Do you have a close friend or family member who know what you're going through? I've relied on my mum for support, and would recommend you reach out to someone xx

Hi @ivfjourney5 thank you so much for your reply! Your journey sounds really tough. I thought 3 weeks offshore was bad but 5 months must be really hard!

No, I’ve not had a referral but planning to contact my gp and see if I can get it arranged. Previously they seemed reluctant as we’d only just started trying but did agree to bloods. Even though I was asking more for health concerns for myself rather than fertility they seemed to say not important unless I was trying for a baby. I think I’m bad at talking down health issues to make them sound insignificant and always feel like I’m wasting time. It’s so silly as I actually have a lot of medical knowledge as I’m a vet. Husband hasn’t had any testing I think it is something we need to get organised too. He feels that we shouldn’t be stressing too much as although we’ve been trying for a while we probably only had 5 or 6 cycles when things have worked timing wise for us and so not really that long. Although I know he’s is worried and stressed about it too but trying to stay chilled out to settle me. I always find myself being more unsettled when he is away even before TTC.

My best friend is aware of my issues but she doesn’t live close bu and also has a newborn. She’s been great about it I told her around 6 months ago. She told me she was pregnant when I was going for initial blood-work last year and I felt so bad as I’m sure I was a bit off with her. She’s had a really tough time since giving birth and I’ve been trying to support her. I don’t want her to feel she can’t rely on me just now but I know she feels bad moaning about how it’s going with the baby when I’m struggling. Otherwise a few people at work know (some admissions on drunk work nights out) and safety aspects of work but not really the full extent just we are trying. My mum and I are incredibly close but for some reason I find it really hard to talk to her about this. She has quite bad anxiety and I know it will be a massive concern for her and she worry endlessly about it, she’s desperate for grand kids. So while I’ve mentioned bits about my periods and pain etc and I think she is aware we are trying I haven’t went to far into it. I know I should speak to my mum and bestie a bit more they both will give me support. I think part of the issue is my main support is hubby and when he’s away I do find it harder to keep myself calm. He hates his job and I wish he’d give up offshore as feel would be so much better for us on so many levels apart from financially.