Second round, is it harder or easier?

[Jenn1025]

Hi all, I'm 3 weeks into my second round of IVF, in the long-estrace protocol. So the full round takes about 7 weeks. My first round experience was very different than this round. For example, the ifrst round, I was nervous to start and learning everything as I went, and didn't know what to expect but I was hopeful and optimistic. After it failed (none of 5 blastos made it to transfer) I knew I wanted to try again and my doc is supportive. But going into round 2, my whole experience is quite different. I know what to expect logistically, but emotionally I'm in a whole different (worse) place, and find this round much harder to stay low-stress and optimistic. Has anyone else experienced this? Or did you experience something different?

I very much found after my first round that the whole excitement and optimism of IVF was gone, all my friends had success with their first round/first transfer but it became clear I was in for the long haul. I was really "meh" about the second round and was completely pessimistic about it working (it didn't). In the end it took 5 rounds and 4 transfers. By the last one it became just another process, just another thing I had to wake up and do that morning. It didn't feel like we were making a baby at all, I may as well have just been going to get my nails done or something equally as meaningless

@ivfbeenbusy thanks for your reply and I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that, and I'm so glad that it finally worked for you. But yeah for me too, that's how I feel. And that pessimism, I don't know how to combat it.

My first round I was optimistic, my second I was realistic, didn't want to set myself up to a failure, my third (FET) I decided I want to be optimistic and after it failed we both surprisingly felt better than after "realistic" round, forth (FET) I was optimistic and really chilled, didn't go to half of the scans I needed as they are always fine and this time worked for us. Tbh I do t think it makes much difference to the outcome but it does make a big difference for your mental health. Always planning ahead and planning next round and knowing exactly what to do in case of failure helped me a lot. Good luck, hope this time works!

Hi everyone, so glad I found this thread.

@Jenn1025 it’s like you are describing me😑 I did my first FET in August spent months preparing and felt really strong mentally and physically. I had all the positive symptoms that you read about on line and was sure it worked. When I got the BFN we were devastated and ive really struggled to pick myself up again.

My c’inic want me to come back for another transfer asap but I’m so terrified it won’t work. I need to build myself up again.

Is there anything anyone did before 1st and 2nd to get ready or for it to work?

@Parisinthesummer I did counseling at some point, that helped before my final transfer. Body wise, i did an ERA test to check my endometrium was receptive as this was our 3d failed cycle. This test is around £1000 so not cheap. I was late 3h and the results came back as receptive, so my next round they did the transfer 3h late. Don't know if that made a difference or if it was an exceptional frostie we had. He was late all along and they did extra cultivation on him so kept him going for 6 days on day 6 he suddenly overtook the others and became a hatching blasto before they put him in the freezer. I tried eating healthy and lose some weight as well. I think it's mainly down to luck.

@Parisinthesummer do you have much in the freezer? That's the best feeling when you have a backup rather than having to go full cycle. Hope the next time works for you!

@Viletta thx for advice. I agree before I really thought it was about what I did but after everything I did to prepare for the first time and it didn’t work I think it’s the luck of the draw!

So I just have one left. We had two from this IVF cycle. The clinic I am with did mention the ERA but said they would only recommend after multiple failures and not just the 1st. My gyno agreed with them. Just seems such a risk to do it again.

Yeah I feel like it is just luck. And that is so hard to not be in control at all. My first round I was soooo good about diet and exercise and supplements. I'm not really doing much different between round 1 and round 2. I responded well to round 1 so there's not much to change in terms of the meds and stim cycle. For round 2, I haven't given up coffee (yet) and I'm trying to exercise like I did in round 1 because that is a big part of staying positive mindset. It's this darn negative mindset that is hard to shake. But I'm tired of people telling me to stay positive, think positive... as if it will end in failure if I cannot think positive and it'll be all my fault.

[quote Parisinthesummer]@Viletta thx for advice. I agree before I really thought it was about what I did but after everything I did to prepare for the first time and it didn’t work I think it’s the luck of the draw!

So I just have one left. We had two from this IVF cycle. The clinic I am with did mention the ERA but said they would only recommend after multiple failures and not just the 1st. My gyno agreed with them. Just seems such a risk to do it again.[/quote]
@Parisinthesummer If I only had 1 embryo, I'd insist on doing every possible test to ensure I was doing the transfer is under the best of circumstances. For me, will be very very hard to get just 1 viable embryo so I would at least insist on a hysteroscopy before transfer, and if you feel in your gut ERA is important, then push them to do that. I've found I have to be my own best advocate. I really hope this one works for you!

Easier as you know what is going to happen

Harder as know it can fail