Single or double Transfer (IVF)

[Claraa2018]

Hello, I don't know if this is a question people can relate to but my husband and I are getting ready for a frozen transfer and have to decide whether to transfer 1 or 2 embryos. We currently have a 12 month old child conceived the same way. I am in my late 30s and have a medical condition that has made it hard to pregnant (and have had cancelled cycles/ loss). I wanted to know what others have done or would do in a similar situation: would you transfer 1 or 2 embryos? My concerns are most importantly health risks for twins. I also worry about the impact of twins and a small age gap on our toddler and whether potential twins and a toddler would be hard for us the early years (we have very little family support) At the same time, we'd love to transfer two to increase our chances of at least one succeeding. We also always wanted more children so twins are appealing (I'm not sure we'd try for a third after having a second child due to age). We also feel sad not at least trying to meet the remaining embryos (not sure if this is weird and if others feel this way).:) It would also be financially easier to only go through treatment once. Maybe this is too personal for people to comment on but we'd love to hear any insights from people who've been in this situation at all (in can be very lonely to go through and not have anyone to share it with). Thanks very much.

I transferred 2 and am 16 weeks with twins. Not going to lie its very hard physically - I'm not even 1/2 way and I just about manage to walk DD to school and back but that's it's and then the bump aches and I'm pretty much on sofa/bed rest for the rest of the day (I'm WFH)
I was in maternity wear from 8 weeks

Our reasons for wanting a double transfer were

• DD is 4 so started school. I don't think I physically could cope with a twin pregnancy and a toddler.

• we can just about afford to raise twins - ive got the twins down for childminder places already but the cost is eye watering!

• physically our house has enough space as we certainly can't afford to move now for several years

• this will be my last pregnancy although I feel really sad about the 2 more we have frozen and would use them if I could (no way DH is going to agree!) we went through so much to get them and they feel like my babies already

• I'm 37

• we had 3 previous failed transfers

• this was our 5th round of IVF and our last. After 5 miscarriages and 2 near fatal ectopics I was ready to stop

• money was a huge aspect - we have already spent £35k!! We had 4 blastocysts and said there just was no more money in the pot to do 4 individual transfers - so clinic agreed to do 2x double transfers if needed

• I PGS tested some blastocysts last year and didn't get any normal ones. So the chances of both sticking and actually taking home twins was supposed to be low!

• I already had both tubes removed due to ectopics. IVF actually increases chance of ectopics happening

• my blastocysts were of a similar quality - you can lower your success rate by transferring a high quality with a low quality

• I agreed not to transfer 2 AA blastocysts together (clinics one stipulation)

So I transferred a 5BA with a day 6 4BB. I have a 4AA and a 3BB still frozen

So a lot of things we thought about before doing it. People always say "I'd love twins" but the reality is hugely different and I know marriages have failed due to the strain. We've been through hell to get these babies so I'm confident we can weather the storm! Plus I think sometimes it's easier to deal with if you had kids together before

Hi @ivfbeenbusy, congratulations on your pregnancy! That is wonderful news. Thanks very much for your detailed response - your reasons seem very well thought out. I'm so sorry about what you had to go through to get there (sounds really tough). I think I can relate to your reasons for going for two and they apply to us too except that our DD is still very young - she'll probably be 13-14 months at the time of transfer. I am 38 (39 soon) and am very torn as I think this will be my last attempted pregnancy. One reassuring thing is that she started childcare recently with a wonderful childminder and is doing really well there. I also know I'll be lucky if just one implants so I may be worrying about nothing but I want to think it through/ be prepared just in case.

It's a tough one as I knew that If just one had stuck then I might have eventually persuaded DH to agree to transferring the others to have a 3rd child and I'd still be under 40. I wouldn't have done so if I was going to be in my 40s and going for a 3rd child (personal preference - im knackered and at some point it would be nice to actually have money to go out and do nice things as a family! 🤣)

Your DD would be about 19 months by the time twins might arrive If you did get both to stick? For me that would have been really tough physically and mentally - my DD is 4 and still doesn't sleep through the night. 18 months plus they are really getting little personalities and wanting to be everywhere and doing everything and I don't know if I would have felt guilty that my attention would be diverted by not one but two babies?

I guess you could keep her at the childminder during maternity leave but I think there might be a lot of guilt associated with that with her being so young?

Plus financially 3 children in childminders is massive - we couldn't countenance having another child until DD at least got 30 hours - full time childminder for her was £850 a month so times that by 3 would have sunk us! 🤣

Hi there, our daughter would be 22-23 months at term if it works out (she's almost 13 months old now). I wasn't ready to try until now as I was tired and nursing and really value my time just with her but I also don't want to wait too long due to age and want to give her a sibling. I also don't want to be pregnant after forty even though we've known others who have done it (it's just a personal viewpoint I guess and fear of being tired). That's why I'm finding this a very tough decision (we have 5 embryos frozen and our DD was a frozen one from the same batch).