TTC with Premature Ovarian Failure - POF

[Isitme2020]

Just wanted to start a thread for support on this particular subject as feeling alone and really sad.

I was diagnosed with POF a couple of years ago at 35. Since I got married 3 years ago we have been trying to conceive. I tried a round of stims but didn't even get one follicle - I'm on DHEA, Ubiquinol and TTC vitamins but nothing. I'm now on/off HRT to stop hot flashes and sleeping issues. It's likely the only way I may be able to conceive would be donor eggs, which is amazing yet so difficult in it's own right.

I feel really alone and so angry and frustrated every time someone announces a pregnancy, like they don't know how lucky they are. I feel no one understands the impact of a diagnoses like POF when you don't have any children. So i'm hoping someone out there has been through something similar and that we may be able to give each other some support in a small way at least.

I don’t have POF but there are plenty of amazing ladies on instragram that do. I recommend infertile midwife (full of loads of advise - currently embryo banking with own eggs at the moment), defining mum (donor egg mum and will understand you) and positive vibes228 (currently going through IVF with donor eggs) these ladies are just amazing and you won’t feel so alone - I often message them and they are just so nice xx

@Isitme2020 I'm with you. It's so hard although I'm slightly older than you (41) but was diagnosed at 39 after 3 years TTC. I had a surprise natural pregnancy in January after years of fertility drugs and a cancelled IVF cycle (no follicle growth). Unfortunately the pregnancy ended in March with a MMC but a small part of me hopes for another miracle pregnancy. I know it's unlikely given my diagnosis but I just can't stop trying completely. What about you? Do you feel like all is lost or is there something inside willing you to carry on trying? x

@JandL2020 Thank you for replying and for some really helpful info, will take a look x

@CamillaEsther I'm sorry to hear you're going through it too. Even it heartbreakingly ended in MMC, it's still amazing to have conceived naturally even once, that would definitely give me some hope. May I ask if you're still having regular cycle? My issue is I pretty much have no cycle at all so don't think there is any chance of a natural conception :( there is always something inside me willing to I hope I think (I'm on loads of bits and supplements still so there must be!) it's weird though as I kind of still hope at the same time as accepting the fact I'll have to use donor eggs. Is that a path you've considered? It's a whole new level of acceptance I know, but it makes me happy to think a baby could still be genetically linked to my husband. So many emotions going through me even as I'm writing this! Crazy. x

I am in a very similar situation and I was devastated when I found out I had such low chances of conceiving naturally. Do you know about the Donor Conception Network this chat? www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception
There is a lot of support and very interesting discussions on donor conception.

Defining Mum blog and instagram has a good following of women of all ages (even in their 20s) who have this diagnosis.

@Isitme2020 I am still having a cycle although it's not regular. Ranging from 17 days to 30 days. I started taking Vitex last month - mainly to try to balance out my hormones and regulate my cycle. I'm still undecided if it's helping – I’m getting a lot of headaches which are likely to be hormone related.

Has your cycle completely stopped or do you have a bleed sometimes? Not knowing where you are in a cycle makes it so hard to time it right so I totally understand how frustrated and down you must be feeling.

We discussed donor eggs after the failed IVF cycle but then we got pregnant and then we lost it and then we were in the middle of COVID. I was up for donor eggs - like you, if we could have a baby with my husbands DNA, it would be amazing but part of us hoped we could get pregnant again. I also made a decision that once i reached 41, we wouldn't spend any more money or go through any more fertility treatments. I have only been with my husband for 6 years and 5 of those have been chasing the baby dream.

It sounds like you are feeling very positive about donor eggs which is fantastic. Now I’m talking about it with you, it’s making me think about it again. Maybe I need another heart to heart with the husband later!