Jealous and Sad - handhold needed

[Bobblehatwobble]

Another pregnancy announcement at work. The woman is literally the nastiest and most aggressive person I’ve ever met.
The unfairness and jealousy is overwhelming.
Does it ever end? Will I stop feeling this way eventually? I hate it. I hate being this person.
My IVF cycle starts next month - why is it so hard for me and so easy for other people?
Just want to curl up in a ball and cry.

FFS another one today. They’re coming hard and fast at the moment. I don’t know what to do with myself. My eyes are stinging.

@BKB27 I'm so sorry to hear that, must've been so, so tough. I feel exactly the same about the shame/taboo - I don't have the monthly journey as I don't have a period and know it's likely to never happen with my own eggs, but as I'm having to go the donor egg route, I just feel people would judge me but they could never know the choices they would make until they were in my position.

'knowing you're not alone in this helps you to see' - love that. And it's true.

I'm sending you all the good vibes for your 2nd cycle, I really do hope this time is your lucky one.

@Youngatheart00 I don't know what it is at the moment but it's the same here! Feels like one a day pretty much!! Cry, get angry/frustrated/sad. You're allowed to. Then, when you're ready, take the next day in your stride. I think infertility takes the best of you, but it can also make the best of you. You realise what you can go through and come out the other side.

Thanks @Isitme2020 I think part of the reason it’s so tough as it forces me to re examine what the next step is for us. Whether to try again with a third cycle or make peace with a child free life . Due to no tubes it can’t happen naturally for us.

Bloody lockdown pregnancies!!!

Hi everyone. Hope you're all doing okay? I had another friends announcement today, utterly jealous as her baby is only 10 months old. But also pissed off all our other friends have known for weeks. And to top it off, I've just came on :(

@cantsaynotocake urgh, I really feel for you. Bit of schadenfraude but her life is going to be chaos!! Be extra kind to yourself today. As your username suggests, maybe cake is the answer?

Do you think you found out late because your friend was trying to tell you sensitively? Different to my friends who just send mass announcements despite knowing what I’ve been through.

@Isitme2020 thank you for your good vibes, appreciate it . People judge what they dont understand. This journey has taught me that people have a surprising lack of empathy. However you get to your baby is your journey and everyones is different but no ones means less just because it wasnt "natural", whatever that means!
@Youngatheart00 I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling - totally get when you don't know what to do with yourself but all you can do is let yourself feel even when you absolutely hate feeling like this day after day. Hopefully we can all announce lockdown pregnancies soon.
@cantsaynotocake sorry to hear that, never easy to hear that its so easy for others. Deffo have some cake today and if you can do whatever you need to so that you are kind to yourself. The world has dealt us a hard hand for sure.

Bless you all, I'll definitely have some cake later. I was on a night shift last night and had plenty of chocolate if that counts!

In regards to her being sensitive, maybe your right and I was just feeling overly emotional, I hate to think friends feel awkward around me when they are going through such happy times, as it's natural to want to share those times with our close friends. It's nobody's fault we're struggling but it's so bloody hard isn't it!

She conceived her first, a year into me trying and text me something like ' hope you have some happy news to share with me too, I'm pregnant' I'm sure she was trying to be nice, but I found it extremely insulting, why would anything change the one month she fell 🤷‍♀️

Anyway I hope your all holding up ok and try to keep smiling xx

@cantsaynotocake that is an annoying comment. People really don't know what to say sometimes, they should just stay quiet! Hope everyone is OK. Having a bit of a wobbly day. I have a friend who fell pregnant within a month of trying. She makes comments like oh i was so drunk I said we should make another baby. Like its nice its thay easy for you but you KNOW its not for me. Maybe I'm sensitive today. Ugh. Anyway, have a good week ladies!

Totally feel the same :( feeling quite depressed about it all its turning me into a bit of a recluse. Dont want to talk to people incase babies or pregnancy is brought up!

What helps to protect me is to prepare myself whenever we meet friends or family that there may be a pregnancy announcement. And i know that sounds so silly but I'd rather be prepared to deal with the emotion :)

I am feeling awful at the moment. Had a completely unexpected pregnancy announcement from a very young family member that they are expecting, approximately 3 months into their relationship. Complete bolt from the blue that broke my heart and I have really struggled with it. Apparently they had unprotected sex once...

4 years and a miscarriage later, here we are. Empty hearts and no closer to having a baby. It's just shit isn't it?

@undercaffeinated oh thats so awful to go through! One of my fears is one of my much younger siblings announcing their pregnancies :( my heart goes out to you!

Morning ladies. It made me sad reading how everyone is feeling at the moment. Sending you all a big hug! It's hard not to feel deflated when other people announce isn't it. Especially those close to you x

Gender reveal party in my next door neighbour's garden on Sunday - I had to go out. Blue confetti still hanging around in the garden. I hate the feeling of being jealous of someone else's success - it doesn't sit well with me at all.

Having those feelings are so understandable and you can't control them, but how you behave as of a result of them is what you can control.

I have been on both sides of this, I had a miscarriage then three years of unexplained infertility whilst my husband had treatment for cancer. I found all of those announcements so difficult, particularly the ones where they hadn't been together long, unstable relationships etc. But I was still there for my friends and visited babies and was glad to get to know the new little people in my life despite feeling really sorry for myself after a shit few years.

When I did fall pregnant naturally, just after being referred to start IVF, a close family member was starting her IVF journey. My pregnancy within the family was not mentioned or celebrated. It was actually really sad after all that time to be shut down if I referred to being pregnant. I was so worried that the family and my parents wouldn't accept my baby out of loyalty to the other family member. It really cast a shadow over what should have been a wonderful time and left me feeling anxious and fearful.

That family member then fell pregnant a year after me and has had their baby now. All of that excitement and joy within the family was taken away from me at the time and for what purpose now?

I guess my message is, try not to let those feelings control the way you behave. Be honest if you are struggling, don't go to the baby showers and all that rubbish if you don't want to. But do let those people know you still care about them, but that you are having a hard time and don't make it about them when really it's about you.

Good luck to you all.

@Sundance5 such a fantastic reply - thank you so much for sharing x

@Sundance5 I’m sorry you went through all of that, but glad you got your much wanted child.

Another announcement incoming today. I swear, it’s becoming a joke. That’s now 7 lockdown pregnancies amongst my friends and close family.