DP thinks I'm drinking too much

[AnteaterTonic]

We're 2 years into TTC, I started off very strict, only drinking on my period, eating clean etc etc.

Turns out it's MFI but I was still pretty good at maintaining the lifestyle.

I've slipped a bit in quarantine. I'm home alone all day every day, in bored and I'm lonely and sad. I'm getting fat.

I am drinking more than usual but not to excess. I went from drinking only at the weekend a couple of times a month to having a couple of drinks in the week as well now. DP says I've been drinking too much and he's worried about me.

I feel very irritated by this comment. I'm just trying to enjoy SOMETHING in this absolute shit show that is my life at the moment.

To be honest I think most of the women on this board are off alcohol so it’s a hard one to answer. For TTC it does sound too much. There are only 4 weekends in a month usually - if you’re drinking for a couple of those and also during the week a couple of times. We also have male factor issues and we’ve given up alcohol together - I wouldn’t drink on my own anyway. We generally only drink now if we are away for a hotel break or after an ivf cycle. So we had a bottle of wine end May, two bottles of wine start July and that’s it.

It sounds like maybe you would benefit from some counselling? If your DP is worried about you too it could be worth exploring.

Same as @Exilecardigan we have MFI and have given up alcohol pretty much. I might have 1 glass once or twice a month if we go out. Though I have never really drunk much anyway. I don't think anyone can say if it would have an effect on ttc, that's up to you to decide as it doesn't sound massively excessive but do you want to take that chance?

It sounds like your husband is genuinely worried about your mental health more than the actual alcohol as drinking more is a sign your mental health is going down which you admit as you say you are sad and lonely (which is completely understandable). This journey is shit and amplified when you are alone in the house all day. Maybe you could find another outlet to help your mental health, whether that is counselling or something else.

@AnteaterTonic you have my sympathy. Life is a bit of shit show at the mo and to have fertility issues on top of everything else is tough.

Finding another more positive outlet is a solid plan, perhaps a new hobby like Couch to 5k or something?

My and DH are not drinking at the mo, but we've been TTC for two years ourselves and obviously we've drank in that time. You're only human and this is a long road. I would say if you are actively in treatment I'd cut it out. We've stopped completely now we are approaching our first IVF cycle.

HI @AnteaterTonic it doesn't sound like you are drinking loads (but I have been a big drinker in the past so might not be the best judge!). However, if you're feeling shit, drinking wont be helping. I gave up a few months ago as I was dealing with a bereavement, and the booze was making me feel a lot worse. Instead I have focused on healing my body to heal my mind. I agree with the previous poster, get out on some jogs and walks instead. You will feel better in time if you stick with it.

I see where you’re coming from. We are over 2 years into try to conceive and lm bored of the no alcohol, being healthy blah blah regime. It’s not as if we’ve ever got anything out of it.

How much are you drinking in units / types / amounts of alcohol each week?

EL8888

Recently it's 3 double gin and tonics 2-3 week.

If you go with 3 times a week, a standard serving of gin has one unit of alcohol, so a double will have 2. You have 3 of these so 6 units and if you have that 3 times a week that’s 18 units or 12 twice a week. Women are only recommended to drink 14 units a week so you are either close to or above that.

Add in ttc where the standard advise is to cut down on drinking I would agree you’re drinking too much.

Again I think the bigger issue is WHY you are drinking. Have you considered counselling?

I bought an annual gym membership on Monday to try and focus my attention elsewhere. I guess he/you are right.

Exilecardigan

Again I think the bigger issue is WHY you are drinking. Have you considered counselling?

I am drinking because I am bored and sad. I'm lonely and getting older and still no baby. I've been so focused on getting pregnant I've let a LOT of things fall by the wayside.