Private treatment

[Frozeneverafter]

Hi all!
Just to give a bit of context to our situation, we have been TTC for over fifteen months now and had been referred to NHS infertility. We were informed however that we won't be getting any initial appointments now until at least next year due to the situation and our previous appointment was understandably cancelled in June. I've had most of the GP blood tests including day 21 etc. But just needed a scan to check internally.

However, the situation as it stands is quite fraught as a fertility nurse consultant seems to think we have unexplained infertility and will likely be recommended for treatment. My husband and I have discussed going private for quite a few reasons.

I know it's horrendous out there and I've got perspective about the things people are facing but we've both struggled recently and feel with all the information we have so far we want to take charge of our options but we also feel the NHS has so much to offer if we wait for it. Plus, I feel guilty for even suggesting we go private as I know for some it is not an option.

I just wondered if anybody out there had had private treatment and what their experiences/advice would be?

Thank you.

Personally I would go and get a private assessment which includes AMH scans etc. If the results are okay you could keep trying naturally until your next nhs appointment armed with your private assessment results? I would also check your CCG - do they fund for IUI/IVF - mine doesn’t and was only given clomid when I don’t have ovulation issues with unexplained infertility like yourself. I felt like I lost a lot of time going through NHS when private was the way forward from the start. Good luck whatever you choose x

I can only go with what my own perspective would be but I’d be tempted to at least look into private. When we were referred on the NHS we fully intended to go private if the wait list was long (turns out that at that time there was no wait). But we were in late 30s so time really was of the essence. If you are in your 20s/ early 30s and emotionally you could cope with the wait then you could see how it pans out with NHS care. I’d personally find it really hard to be in limbo for so long with no firm date. Also you shouldn’t feel guilty about considering private treatment. The limitations on what the NHS can currently offer are not your fault. X

The NHS is good but the only thing it has to offer is free treatment - depending on the clinic it's often one size fits all and the doctors are far from world leading and it doesn't operate 7 days a week

Private on the other hand you very much get what you pay for......

Age makes a diff

Do you have time to wait for nhs

If middle /late 30’s I would do private

Obv yes it’s a cost

We had no choice as I had unexplained infertility and was on nhs wait list with my dh but he sadly died

I met a lovely man but he had 3 kids in 20’s so I lost my nhs go

We went private. Did 5 cycles - 3 fresh and 2 fet to get our only
One ever bfp. Cost was £27k

Dd is now 3

Thank you for your responses. I am early 30s and DH is mid 30s so there is arguably time but after looking at our CCG I can see that we would have to keep going naturally until the two year mark or have 12 months of IUI before being offered one round of IVF. I know it's probably subject to circumstance too but that's what the guidance said. Thank you @JandL2020, we'd never even considered looking at the CCG until now! @Lemongrass1 you're right, it's not my fault and the nurse actually said in our consultation that I need to start lifting that blame game off my shoulders. We all probably fall into blame, I even read that Chrissy Teigen did too as she felt it was easy to find a fault for a failed cycle. I think I'm stuck in that place too.

@ivfdreaming you've really given me food for thought there with the 'one size fits all' plus I'd never even considered the 7 day thing either. I am so sorry to hear about your experience @Blondeshavemorefun, reading your post have me some perspective on time and waiting and I'm glad you got your BFP after all that.

We were never offered NHS treatment; even nearly 20 years ago it simply wasn't an option in our area. Our GP's advice - "save, every penny, you're going to need it!". Well, gee, thanks!!!

So I can't comment on what the NHS offer, but if age is on your side I would be tempted to try that first. As far as going privately is concerned, it did give me a modicum of control, when we had treatment, what type, how long between attempts etc etc (all of this might be different with the Covid situation). It can be very, very expensive. It certainly got to the stage with us that every visit we were handing over our credit card; another blood test, another £200 thank you very much. It quickly adds up. And we wanted to try absolutely everything to become parents, so we got sucked into the idea that just one more thing, one more bill, and it might just work.

It did. DD is now a teenager. She was (and is) utterly worth it. But it took 8 years and a lot of money. I would spend it all again in a heartbeat to have her, but it is a hard road. But I think the private route (we had no other option) was actually the best for us because I could control if and when we had treatment.

Best of luck. Unmumsnetty hugs.

We’ve decided to go privately. It gives us more flexibility with appointment times around work. We had an initial consultation with the doctor and he recommended some more tests which we’ve had and now got a follow up appointment in a few weeks time. We’ve budgeted in our heads around £15K for everything at the moment but fully aware it could go a lot over this so we’ll have to cross that bridge if it comes to it. I do feel a bit guilty that just because we can afford to we can speed things up but if you think of it as you’re actually not taking the space for someone who it’s not an option for it’s not so bad.

Thank you @didthatreallyhappen2 I've been wondering how it would stand with the tests as I've had most of the blood tests so far. Do they usually re-test or take the results you have so far?

I've budgeted about the same amount @banoffeepie91 but know it could go above that. Having read this thread it certainly has helped me to clarify that guilt and I feel much better about the whole situation now. Especially the idea of some control as at the moment everything just feels out of reach and out of control.

All I can think about are all the possibilities ahead. Failure of cycles and just wanting an answer but I know with unexplained fertility it takes a lot to find even just one answer. I suspect I have LPD as it has never been above 9 days in the last fifteen months. Just doesn't seem right to me but I could be wildly off the mark.