Hitting the big 40 and not sure how to feel 😢

[Paige2207]

Hi

As above..TTC for 8yrs x1 MC & x1 MMC. Various infertility testing now leading to awaiting a DE.

Hoping someone could advise really? My family are big on Social Media and love putting up the family posts and I have a fear of my Mum putting up a post about me turning 40 for me then to get the questions later (from workers inparticular) about my age and the comments ‘Better get a move on..’

Sounds silly but when I do get asked by men (who are the majority of employees) at work they are just so blunt but I don’t respond as it’s just so awkward for both of us. And then I get so upset I take it home to my DP.

Should I say to mum? She doesn’t get all of this as she is ‘so blessed’ to have her 8 grandkids already and when so try to talk to her about it all she just moves on to adoption.

Any help / advice would be appreciated. And I would delete my Facebook etc but need it for work stuff ☹️

Thanks for reading x

People are so insensitive aren't they?! And its even worse when the person who is being insensitive is your own mother (speaking from experience here unfortunately!). I think have a word with your mum so she knows that you'd rather she didn't post about your 40th. Just let her know kindly/gently... good luck xx

@peanutsandpinenuts thanks for your reply! I’m so glad you understand.

Yeah people can be so insensitive and I had no idea how bitchy some men can be until I worked in this environment and has made me really aware of who to talk to!

Yeah unfortunately my mum just doesn’t get our situation and think it’s heightened with getting older and I’m finding myself comparing others to how well they’ve done in life to our shitty situation and she always talks me down saying it doesn’t matter and we know it DOES matter!

Do you have someone to talk to? How do you deal with the awkward conversations? I get counselling and it helps, just wished I had someone I knew who I can talk to and share advice. Don’t wish it on anyone tho.

Btw I have no problem with adoption. We’ve even talked about it being our next step while we wait for the Donor, were just not there yet.

x