How does your DP support you during/after IVF?

[tenbob]

Just that really...
Especially if you have a BFN

To be honest I get a hug and that's it but mine is a man of few words anyway and doesn't really show his emotions very often. And for me that works - I can't deal with a sobbing mess when it's me who has to go through the worst of the process etc. Maybe different for me though in that I've born the financially responsibility of all our cycles and organise them and attend the scans etc on my own - he just turns up to give his sample on egg collection day so is very detached from the process

My DH does all injections and is in charge of dosage and when I need to take them plus clean up. He is also responsible for all the bills and paying the clinic. As I get injected and have to go through egg collection etc. He makes me my favourite meal after egg collection and does most of the cooking during Stims. Basically if I don’t want to do something he will do it.

After failure he usually gives a big hug and tries to encourage me to keep some hope. Then he usually books a night away or will run me a bath/order in food.

@PositivelyPrecious

Sounds like you've got a good one there! I'm a 100% control freak so I just wouldn't be able to trust my DH to organise everything!

I wonder if it's different for those whose DH is responsible for the need to have IVF? - I lost both my tubes to ectopics so it's because of me that we need IVF so maybe that's why I take the lead and I'd probably say I want more children more than him and he wants to make me happy so goes along with it? I also think I don't want to give him any reason to suddenly say he doesn't want to do any more cycles so by bothering him with it as little as possible I'm not giving him any reason to pull the plug? I think it would be different if we had to do IVF due to male factor though

Mine is more considerate than normal, will make sure everything is done around home so I don't stress and can rest. I do all the scheduling and injections etc as he is a bit squeamish, so although he comes to all the appts he has minimal involvement.

When I got a bfn last week he was very sweet and gave me lots of cuddles, cups of tea and ordered my favourite take away. I'm quite a practical person and after a brief sob of frustration I'm ok again now.

I think everyone is different re what they need and communication is key.

I’m a nurse so the injections didn’t really bother me and I was able to do them myself. I’m a bit forgetful re ensuring I drink plenty and taking my folic acid so he’s always bringing me glasses of water and making sure my folic acid is on the tablet at dinner time. If I need to lie down or am feeling a bit crampy he’ll take care of the cooking and housework.

(Sometimes he’s a bit too much re eating healthy since we started IVF, both our BMIs are fine and we generally eat well but I think he’s just wants to make sure we are doing everything we can. He gave me the eye when a I made a bacon and egg sandwich this morning 😂. That sandwich is mine bud and there’s nothing you can do about it!)

Seriously though, I think the main thing is to talk to one another.

I needed two jabs a night when I was stimming, we did one each. Mixed one each at the same time, then he did the first one and I did the second.

He drives to every clinic appointment (I can drive but I don't enjoy it, he does so no need for me to stress about it).

He didn't breakdown when it failed, well, not until I'd finished crying anyway. Two people have a meltdown wouldn't have been helpful.

Took me to McDonald's for fries after transfer one (and will after transfer 2 soon), as is ritual in the ivf community 😂