Having mass panic here

[thefishthatcouldwish]

I have had the call from clinic to start my first round of IVF with donor sperm.

Hospital phoned several times today with schedule and plans etc. Am concent signing the same day as I start my medication .

I have waited so long for this but now am panicking. I dont think I can do this!

DH allowed in for egg collection which is good.

You presumably made this decision after careful thought and consideration. You probably also sought the advice of a counsellor. This wasn't a decision you made overnight or quickly.

That doesn't mean your decision can't change, but it's easy to second guess a 'correct' difficult decision when the decision will soon become irreversible.

Normal.

What @physicskate says. It’s totally normal I think. I had similar worries.

If it gets too scary, it might help to think like this: Signing the consent forms and starting the medication isn’t an irreversible decision and doesn’t commit you to going ahead, you’re still allowed to change your mind (if you warned to) after doing both those things.

I think it’s most likely all a normal worry because another added “bonus“ of infertility is that you get to totally overthink everything and second guess your decisions. If we could become pregnant the normal way there probably wouldn’t be any of this completely overthinking it all.

Hey fish I remember you've had a lot of upheaval and sadness recently.
None of us can know your true feelings but I agree with the others. It's kind of like jitters you get making any big decision, even when you know it's right for you.

Maybe try to simplify things (says the world's biggest overthinker!). Do you and DH want the chance to be a family? Is this the way to do that ie the best method for you two? Have you got a lot of love to give a little one?
I'm asking simple questions on the basis that you've probably analysed time and again the bigger picture, it's not like it's something you've just thought of today. Good luck.

Sorry OP have noticed typo on my post above “if you warned to“ Is meant to say: if you wanted to

@physicskate - Wow you are so bang on!!! so direct and clear! iI'm gonna remember that... love it!!!

@thefishthatcouldwish - I'm feeling you.. I think I'm feeling that way too, the closer we get to the date, the more nervous and panic i'm feeling. I've been wanting this IVF appt so bad, been wanting for it to start for so long, that I'm surprised I'm started to panic, like I didn't realise what I'm getting myself into. It's nerves, mixed with excitement, and hint of relief its finally happening!
You really aren't alone with this feeling ... xx good luck

Thanks everyone.

I have calmed down a bit now.

I think its fear of unknown coupled with excitement and worry. All I can do is take it one step at a time.

@JeNeBaguetteRien yes it has been quite a time.

How are you now fish ? 💐 I thought I recognised your name, go easy on yourself, you are grieving.

Did you tell DH you were feeling nervous?
I think it's good you recognise it as a mix of excitement and worry, somewhere in there is the possibility of something special in your future.

@thefishthatcouldwish I remember you from the other thread too - you've been through a lot recently but I remember how much you were looking forward to this and how much you wanted it. The nerves are normal and I'm sure you'll recover your excitement once you get started. I'm currently down regging for a FET at the end of this month - I'm terrified too, mainly because I know these two remaining embryos are out last hopes and the chances of success with them are so small that I'm really scared about what will happen when/if they both fail. The thing is it would be worse to always wonder 'what if?'. There are so many things to stress over with IVF and your feelings are completely normal!

@JeNeBaguetteRien @CritterTamer

Thank you very much for your kind words. ..

I am still quite nervous but feel calmer about the whole situation.

I suppose what caught me off guard as I hadn't heard anything off the clinic only able to speak to a receptionist once who said to wait but couldn't say more than that.

Yes my husband knows I am nervous.

🤞 for your next cycle Critter.