Problems with our clinic/Covid IVF experience

[Jacky83]

We're due to start our first round of ICSI later this month. But I have some concerns with our clinic. We're constantly feel like we are on the back foot. They are very good at answering questions but the onus is on us to ask the questions - it is our first time I don't know all the questions I should be asking! I find it very strange that we haven't been given any booklets explaining what we can and can't do, the process etc. We've had one photocopied sheet just explaining the basics of an IVF cycle. Is that normal? I feel like we should have a nice stack of paperwork that we can read through and absorb rather than just a pile of my scrappy notes from telephone calls.

For example, the other day on the phone we were asked if we had had unprotected sex this cycle. No-one explained why that was asked. I'm guessing you can't have unprotected sex in the cycle where you start treatment but no-one has actually told us that.

Also, due to Covid we've been told we have to have all consultations by video and husband can't attend any of the in-clinic appointments including egg collection or embyro transfer? Is that the case at all clinics? I really don't think I can go ahead if on embryo transfer day - the day I hopefully get pregnant - my husband isn't even in the same building!

Is all of this normal or do we need to go to a better clinic?

Sadly it’s very normal. My husband has said the same thing all along, it feels like it’s up to this to ask the right questions. My otherwise absolutely fantastic IVF clinic told us nothing about the reality of IVF - how long it would take, how often scans would be, how much time we’d need off for egg collection etc until I asked. We got the same paper printouts explaining what IVF was but no help with the practical side.

I’ve made inquiries with friends and across the board private IVF clinics are terrible at admin, so sadly it’s not an isolated problem.

And yes, due to COVID they can’t allow your husband in unless he is there to “do the job”
on egg collection day. I had my collection last week & he was booted out as soon as he was done & had to hang around outside until I was ready to leave. We’ve been told the follow up has to be on video call if he wants to attend. Unfortunately it’s down to the HFEA and infection control, the clinics can’t do much about it.

Thanks for replying. Glad to know it isn't just us! Can you husband not be there for embryo transfer? That's the one that is REALLY bothering me. It's all clinical enough but for him not to be in the room when I "get pregnant" is too much.

We were given most of our information before we got to the clinic for our first appointment. It was mainly videos explaining different processes and then we had to tick a box to say that we’d watched them.
Once I was ready to start injections, we were given a demonstration in person on how this was done. She did hand me a few leaflets but said that they were the last of the leaflets as they don’t give them out anymore. However, I think you’d probably be shown how to administer the drugs via a video call at the moment due to covid. There are plenty of videos on YouTube if not though! I used these as I’d forgotten what the clinic had said anyway!

The reason they don’t want you having unprotected sex is basically so that you’re not pregnant when you’re taking the drugs and having the treatment.

As for your husband not being able to join you, unfortunately this is the right thing at the moment. My clinic are doing the same thing. I believe they are following rules set by the HFEA. At my clinic we are having to wait in the car, they call you on your phone when they’re ready for you. I had my temperature taken (filled in a healthy questionnaire before I went), given a mask and washed hands with sanitiser. I didn’t see any other patients there other than them sitting in there cars. Staff are in full PPE gear. Partners are not allowed in unless on EC day but that’s only to do what they need to do! For ET they have to wait in the car. It’s really sad, but it’s either that or wait until restrictions have lifted and who knows when that will be!

I think if you’re worried, contact your clinic and say you feel you haven’t been given enough information and would like to know more. Unfortunately I think it may just be a case of they are understaffed and so can’t give their usual level of detail and service. I know my clinic are running with skeleton staff and are not answering calls, just emails.

Best of luck x

I know what you mean about the ET. For my first ET he was there stroking my arm, but I needed a wee so bad I wasn’t really focussed on what was happening anyway. He was gutted he couldn’t be there for this ET but as this had previously been cancelled due to covid and we weren’t expecting it to restart so soon we were just pleased it was happening. It must be overwhelming if this is your first cycle too, but the ET is done so quickly, you’ll be fine. Maybe take something of his with you and hold it in your hand while youre there? I know it sounds ridiculous but little things like that help me x

@camfan1 Thanks. Actually taking something of his with me is a great idea. If that's the best we can do that's what we'll do. He wants me to video call him but not sure I can manage holding phone and facetiming while it is going on!

Sent off a long email listing the things I thought were a bit shoddy. Aim was not to whinge but to point out a few things we were unclear on. Got a one line response. Sheesh.