Two convective miscarriages

[Marie182]

Hi, this is my first post so I'm feeling very nervous writing this.

Unfortunately I had a missed miscarriage in March, then me and my husband decided to try again quickly after. We fell again and went for an early scan this Thursday when I was 8 weeks pregnant. There was healthy heartbeat and expected growth.

Then the following day I began to bleed heavily with clots. My local assessment unit won't do a scan to confirm that I've miscarries due to COVID 19. I'm still bleeding with a lot of clots, waiting for everything to 'pass naturally' at home. I'm so worried for my future as a parent as I have no children and have now experienced two consecutive miscarriages.

I was hoping that some people out there have some uplifting stories that will keep me in a more positive mindset. Just feeling a little hopeless and lost.

I’m so so sorry for your losses

I maybe don’t have the positive sorry that you’re looking for but I didn’t want to read and run. I myself have recently had a second miscarriage in a row with no children. I know the feelings you’re describing well and I just wanted to let you know that you’re not alone. I know that maybe won’t mean much just now but I have read soo many stories of people having multiple miscarriages and going onto have successful pregnancies.

I hope you have someone to take care of you through this difficult time and I hope you get everything you wish for in the near future. Be kind to yourself

I had two early miscarriages before I had my dd through ivf (a year and a half after the second miscarriage, ivf unrelated to the miscarriages).

Miscarriages happen sometimes. It's awful, it's horrible, it's unfair and soul-destroying but it's part of the reason our species has been so successful in dominating this planet. We are really complicated animals compared to many others, and so our bodies are a bit more selective in what we carry to term. Rational thinking helps me deal - so I apologise if that doesn't work for you!!

The stats are on your side. About 25% or so pregnancies end in miscarriage. So you are part of the unlucky 7.5% to have two in a row. But only about 1-2% of women will have 3 in a row. You are statistically more likely to have a successful pregnancy than not in the future.

There is absolutely no reason at this point for you to think yourself infertile (or unable to have children, which isn't quite the same thing).

I mean this all from a place of kindness. Numbers help me focus. They help me not get too overwhelmed by emotions.

It might be worth a quick discussion with a sympathetic gp, before you're ready to try again if that is what you choose to do who may be able to tell you the same thing in a different way.

So sorry to hear that – what a weird time to be going through that. I wonder if another hospital or private clinic might do a scan, if you're still in that limbo state of not knowing if it has definitely gone, or MIGHT be alright.

I'm now 33 weeks pregnant after five miscarriages (I'm now 40) so there IS hope. I think we were particularly unlucky, so am NOT suggesting this will happen to you... It also seems a really good sign that you got pregnant again so quickly, though obviously really tough on you.

If you did feel better taking action of some kind, I did follow the recommendations in a book called It Starts With the Egg before this one was conceived. It's intended to improve egg quality, which CAN be a factor. Obviously I don't know for sure if that was what made the difference, but I'm glad I gave it a go.

As others have said, be kind to yourself! And the stats are definitely on your side for next time, when you feel ready to try again.

@weebee123 I'm so sorry to hear about your losses  It is so nice to hear the positive stories that people have gone on to have successful pregnancy after consecutive/recurrent miscarriages. Hopefully one day we will both have our positive stories to tell 

@physicskate I'm so sorry that you had to go through so much before you had your DD. Thanks for the info, looking at stats actually really helps me to think more rationally.

@101things I'm so sorry that you have been through so much. It's so lovely to hear that you are 33 weeks now! Congratulations. Thank you for the tip about the book, I've just now ordered it on amazon, so I'll give it a go. It's so strange going through it while there are so many hospital restrictions in place. I've been told now to wait for 2 weeks and then take a pregnancy test, if it's still positive then I'm allowed to go to the assessment unit for a scan to see what's going on.

Thank you @Marie182 - thinking of you. Hope you find the book helpful, I definitely felt more positive taking some steps that I felt could improve the odds. Sorry again you're going through this, it is so unfair.

@Marie182 hello, I'm in a similar position to you. I had my second consecutive missed miscarriage last month. The first was in February. However, I do have a little girl who is 2 years old.
I turned 39 at the end of April so I do fear that I'm just too old for another baby but I've decided to go ahead with fertility tests, which start on the 29th June. Who knows if anything will be discovered, but I need to at least try and find out.
@101things thank you for the book recommendation. I'm going to order it too. Congratulations on your successful pregnancy.

@Snapper81 thank you! Good luck on the tests - mine discovered lots of small contributing factors, but no one firm cause. At three miscarriages they offer further investigation (and I think genetic testing of the baby's remains), but it sounds as if you're already on the case with some tests. As I remember, my AMH was low and getting lower, but not chronically bad. Stay hopeful - my periods got shorter a month or two before I conceived this one, and it felt like a really bad sign, but then we did get the positive test result. So while it's worth paying attention to the indicators, they're not always the whole story.

@101things that's interesting that it was a number of factors. We have had to go private because the NHS waiting list is over a year and at 39, I just cant wait that long. At the moment, hubby has been told to reduce his alcohol intake and I'm continuing with prenatal. I'm also trying to get back into moderate exercise. My BMI is fine but I was almost bed bound with my last pregnancy due to awful morning sickness and my fitness is at an all time low. Do you mind me asking, did you have to take anything for your low AMH?

Hi OP, my partner and I have been ttc for 2 of last 2.5 years. Surprisingly I fell pregnant in May but miscarried at 6 weeks. Got another positive test 5 weeks later but that ended a couple of days later. It’s been a difficult time but I take heart from the knowledge that I can get pregnant after 2+ years of nothing.

Hi Snapper81. I didn't take anything specifically for that – I don't remember reading about anything that would improve it.

Some of the things recommended in It Starts with the Egg are to boost cellular function, like CoQ10, which I think helps when the sperm and egg combine correctly (this is a VERY simplistic summary – I've given the book to a friend so can't check the details!). I felt that would help me, given that two of my losses were tested, and found to be down to genetic (and non-inherited) factors. Ditto all the book's tips for reducing potentially harmful BPA exposure in your diet, which I did follow...

It's interesting you had very strong morning sickness, as that is usually such a good sign (I never really had it until this sixth, so-far successful) pregnancy). This is a very complex subject, but could it be worth ruling out scarring from your first pregnancy/birth? I have a friend who miscarried a few times after having her daughter. Lesley Regan at St Mary's found she had scarring that was stopping subsequent pregnancies from attaching properly. (Asherman's Syndrome?). She had is treated surgically and went on to have a baby in her early 40s. I'm not saying this is what you have, but it could be worth ruling out...?