High FSH. Male infertility.

[mabel9]

My husband got the results back from his FSH bloods and they are high, 22.5 which I guess confirms there is no sperm production (he has had 2x SA and they only found 1x sperm in each). Has anyone got experience of this?

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My husband also has high FSH (I can't remember the exact figure, I think it was around 17 possibly), and did not have any sperm in his samples. We are still on our journey but there are definitely options out there. Our clinic scanned my husband after the results to look for a blockage, which there wasn't, so we then decided to go for MicroTese (surgical sperm retrieval) and froze 4 vials of sperm which they extracted in the op, we then started ICSI with the view to use the frozen sperm. We had a nightmare with this, during the thawing process all sperm died so we could not proceed.
Since this happened we have discovered Dr Jonathan Ramsay in London who has been amazing and given us so much information. He has actually put my husband on Clomid as it can boost sperm production ,so we are keeping our fingers crossed this might work! It felt like we had reached a dead end when my husband first got his results from back from the samples and blood tests but there are definitely options out there. Please feel free to message me if you have any questions, I know how stressful it can be!

Hi @BellaBellini thank you so much for replying and I’m sorry to hear you’re in a similar situation.
We found out that my husband has double bilateral undescended testes causing our issues and they are very small (10ml). We are in a really tricky situation as our urologist doesn’t believe any sperm would be found so we are leaning towards donor sperm.
What stage are you at now?

Hi @mabel9, I'm sorry to hear about your situation, although it does help to hear from someone in a similar position, it can feel like a very lonely journey sometimes.
I'm not sure whereabouts you are, but have you looked into Jonathan Ramsay at all? He seems to be one of the best urologists about (it sounds like I work for him or something, I really don't!). We have gone to him as our last resort - he is based in London and really knows his stuff. We have decided to try to the clomid for a while, but if he tells us this isn't working then we are leaning towards donor sperm too.

Hi @BellaBellini it massively helps to talk to someone. My husband seems to have accepted it well and is moving on and I haven’t told any family members or friends so I don’t have anyone to talk too about it.
I have contacted Dr Ramsay before lockdown and he mentioned there was a small possibility to up production over the next year. Its whether wait, spend money on medication, private micro tese, ICSi when our chances are already quite low? We are also based in the Scottish Hebrides so it’s very hard to get anywhere atm 🤣
Has your husband been given a diagnosis as too why he isn’t producing? I’ll keep everything crossed that clomid works for you, it’s so so hard.

Hi @mabel9, oh wow yes that would be a huge journey to London! I'm in a similar predicament to you, we would love for my husband to have his own biological child, however it looks like should the clomid work my husband would need more microtese and we would need to go through ICSi again, just with a slightly higher chance of success than the last time but at a huge financial cost and it is still unlikely to work. We are slowly starting to talk about donor sperm being an option more now.
That's really great that your husband is doing so well in terms of acceptance, is it something he has known about for a while? Have you been offered much support from your clinic? I think we are going to sign up to some counselling sessions from the clinic to try and help us along a bit, my husband has never really been given a reason about why this has happened so I think it has made accepting the situation quite difficult.

@BellaBellini there are so many tough decisions and always a voice at the back of your mind constantly questioning whether you are making the right decisions!
No, we only found out in December and it was a shock; we actually conceived naturally before, 2 months into our relationship, but we decided to terminate as it was a very new relationship and I was still young. We started trying in December 2018 and 3x months in we both had this pit of our stomach feeling that it wasn’t going to be easy and that was confirmed December 19. My husband says he has always had a small feeling that something wasn’t right but he has a great mentality and positive attitude which is fantastic, and yes as you say, having a reason can help greatly so I’m sorry your hubby hasn’t been given one yet. When did you find out? Our clinic has been great, I’ve had one counselling session so far (back in February) which was great and I’m planning two more before I proceed. I would definitely recommend it. Has your clinic been good? It’s good you have started talking about other options, I find these conversations take time and happen over a longer period. Has lockdown been okay for you?

I completely get the voice at the back of your mind, no matter what option we start to discuss on this journey I'm always questioning whether it's right or not.
I'm sorry that must have been such a shock for you getting the news after conceiving naturally previously. Can I ask, is what your husband has something which has happened over time? We have always wondered whether my husband has always had this, or whether it developed later on. We started trying back in March 2018, and like you a few months in we had a feeling something wasn't right. I picked up a superdrug home fertility test and when we saw my husbands results we assumed it was broken so booked in a private test which showed zero, so then it was back to the gp then a referral to our clinic and we had confirmation in December 2018. We then decided to give microtese a go, which was carried out back in September 2019.
That's so great that your husband is dealing with it so well and that your clinic is so good. I think we will definitely try and have some counselling sessions and see if that helps. Lockdown has been so hard! I have been furloughed which has meant lots of time to think and a few friends have announced pregnancies. I can't wait to get back to work and have less thinking time! How have you been finding it?

Hi, how are you both getting on with your journeys? I'm in a similar position and the only option left for my us is donor sperm. I'm open to the idea but my husband is struggling to get his head around it. Finding it really difficult :(

Hi All, I am really sorry you’re going through challenging times. I am in the opposite situation, it’s about my eggs. As you mentioned donor sperm the process of exploring the idea is similar to donor eggs. In case you don’t know, there’s a forum on mumsnet that refers to donor conception www.mumsnet.com/Talk/donor_conception. There is also a lot of support on the DCN network website. I have found them extremely useful. Good luck in your journey

@Okdaisy Hi, I'm so sorry to hear that you are finding yourself in a similar situation and finding things difficult, it's such a horrible and upsetting situation isn't it. We met with Jonathan Ramsay earlier in the year, who put my husband on clomid, in the hope that my husband could undergo a second MicroTese and we may have more positive results. We had a follow up call last week and we were told that his hormones show some improvement, but we are still looking at just a 10% chance of sperm being found and surviving (all sperm found in the last op didn't make it) so we are in such a dilemma now, I am leaning towards donor sperm, but my husband is really struggling with this and is leaning towards having another op. We're in the process of having counselling as we knew sperm donation was the likely option, so I think we are going to have to take some time out of our fertility journey for a while and see whether counselling helps us to reach a decision. Have you and your husband had any support in terms of counselling etc? My husband's not a big talker but he really seems to be starting to open up in our sessions which I'm really hoping will help.
@Leala20 Thank you for mentioning the other thread and the DCN network, I will definitely check those out, thank you :) I'm sorry to hear you are also on such a hard journey and wishing you lots of luck

@BellaBellini Hi, really sorry that you are going through this. It must be really tough knowing whether to go through another op or to move on and try donor sperm. We found out pretty early in the process there was no chance of using my husbands sperm (due to childhood sickness it was likely we would ever conceive naturally), so we know DS is the only option. It must be hard when there is some hope to make that decision. Yeah we've just started fertility counselling too. I do think it is helping my husband to come round to the idea, or is at least more open to thinking about it. So hopefully we'll get there. Good luck, hope the counselling helps you to make a decision.

@Okdaisy Thank you, it is such a horrible situation and your right it does make it hard knowing there is a tiny chance that another op could work, I feel like I don't want to risk getting my hopes up again! I really hope that the counselling helps you both and that you can come to a decision, wishing you lots of luck on your journey.

Hello ladies

Just found this thread and I thought I would share our experience as we have similar issues.

When I first met my partner he told me he couldn’t have children. I was devastated, but I was younger then and thought maybe id never want kids?!
Well obviously that changed so we saw our G.P, had to undertake all the underlying tests for myself included and were referred to the fertility centre.

My partner was told years ago he had no sperm in a S.A and said he’s only option in the future was for donor sperm. A small part of me always held out hope that somehow we could conceive his biological child through some way or another.
Plus- I wanted answers, mainly for him. He was never given a reason why! And I’m so glad I pushed this.

He ended up having further investigations and blood tests which were sent off for examination under genetic testing and the endocrine team. We found out his high FSH is due to a genetic mutation. It’s very complex but it was either something inherited or something that developed over time. Likely the latter as his father has two other children.

I can understand the heartache you guys are going through, but don’t give up hope. We looked down the micro TESE route too. I’ve also known people to use donor sperm successfully. There are options out there.
I would also say keep an eye on your hubbies. My partner struggled to come to terms with the fact he may never be a biological father to his children. He’ll be an amazing dad so to me that doesn’t matter.

Good luck to you all in your journeys.

Xx

How’s everyone getting on?
@BellaBellini
@Okdaisy
@Lizzybee80

I hope you’re all well. X

Things are going well for us. We had counselling which was really helpful. We have decided to go for it and have chosen a donor. We have our consent meeting in a few weeks so just waiting to get started now. How about you? @mabel9

Things are going ok thanks, we have had counselling and decided that donor is the way forward, we are going to wait until next year now though, it feels like it's been an all consuming process for too long so I want a few months to try and not think about it, although how long that will last I don't know! How are things going with you @mabel9 ?

Hi @Okdaisy congratulations. How are you feeling about it all?
@BellaBellini It’s a tough decision to make, but once you get the ball rolling I find it gets easier. I agree about having a few months to think about it, lockdown helped me with that.

I’m currently in the two week wait of my 2nd iui with donor. Unfortunately the 1st iui didn’t work which was pretty heartbreaking but common.

@mabel9 I'm sorry to hear that the 1st iui didn't work, sending you lots of luck that this round works for you. How far into the two week wait are you? I'll keep my fingers crossed for good news! x

Thank you @BellaBellini
I’m half way through, I’m feeling far more relaxed this time round. When are you planning on starting to look into it further?

That's great your feeling more relaxed this time @mabel9, I will keep everything crossed that it works for you! Because we tried to do ICSI last year and the retrieved sperm died when thawed I have a few frozen eggs stored so I think we will use those first with donor ICSI and see how that goes. The clinic have said that they don't have a waiting list which is great, but I'm so worried my eggs will die when thawed I can't bring myself to do it yet, a silly reason I know! We've said next year but it's all I talk about so I think we will probably pull it forward when I've stopped being silly! We haven't got to the stage of choosing a donor either so we have that to come still. Can I ask, did your husband struggle with that part? My husband was originally quite anti donor, and is now completely onboard but I'm worried how that stage will go and how upsetting he will find it x

@mabel9 thanks, yeah feeling good about it all since we made the decision. So just waiting to fet started really. Sorry to hear your first IUI didnt work, that must be really tough. i have my fingers crossed for you xx
@BellaBellini good luck with it all. I was really worried about my husband would be about choosing a donor but he was fine actually. Before looking we had decided on what was important to us in terms of donor attributes etc so when it came to looking there was basically one donor who ticked all the boxes so it ended up feeling like an obvious decision. So we didnt over think it and went for it. Hope your husband is ok with it when it comes to it. Good luck xx

Hi @BellaBellini what’s tough thing to go through, I totally understand wanting to take a small break as it’s mentally exhausting!
At first my husband was against donor sperm, he wanted to try everything possible with his own. It was only when we we went to the urologist and actually got a diagnosis (undescended testes therefore severe ogliospermia) of a production issue and that most likely tese wouldn’t retrieve anything that we started talking about donor and he started coming round. I moved pretty quick in terms of getting info from the clinic about donor sperm and then I joined the European Sperm Bank and started looking - in terms of picking the donor my husband didn’t really want anything to do with it which I was fine with so I picked a donor who had a similar upbringing and likes to my husband (it’s so hard because you niggle on every trait). Funnily enough it was then me who struggled with it all and started worrying about how I’d feel and if others would judge and my husband does sometimes gets down but is mostly positive and excited. And now we are moving with it we are both so ready, I think that’s why when iui 1 didn’t work it was so hard, it took me right back to all those negative tests!
How old are you if you don’t mind me asking?
Thank you @Okdaisy

@mabel9 @Okdaisy thank you both so much for sharing your experiences with choosing a donor, we feel like it's the right way forward but I've been getting so worried about how my husband would react about the actual choosing and that we might go back a step, but you've made me realise that its ok if he wants to be involved in the picking of the donor or fine he's not comfortable with that part and is less involved. We are having one last joint counselling session soon so it's definitely something I will bring up. @mabel9 I'm 32, I'm not too stressed about my age but then every now and then I remember that we started this years ago! Can I ask how old you are? How are you coping in your two week wait? I hope your still managing to relax a bit

I’m glad we could be of some help 😊 @BellaBellini it’s such a roller coaster of emotions! Have you told your families? We haven’t.
I’m 28, started trying at 26 and I’m starting to feel likes it’s been a long time.
I’m feeling okay, it’s hard to shake the feeling that it will just be another failure as that’s all I’m used too but I’m managing to stay relaxed and keep everything 🤞!