So many articles saying fertility for women drops off a cliff age 35!

[Miss2009]

I'm 32, 33 at the end of the year. I have always wanted to be a mum. However, due to my relationship with my boyfriend, I didn't bring up the subject of having children until I turned 30 as I didn't want him to feel pressured. I felt I needed to say something when I turned 30 because I felt the pressure from reading articles about female fertility rapidly declining at 35. I feel I should have spoken up sooner. In another post I have put in the relationship section on Mumsnet, I explain my boyfriends reluctance to have children. From reading these articles about fertility, I'm anxious my wanting of a child is too little to late, especially if I'm going to end my relationship with my boyfriend and try to find someone new who wants children 🤯

A lot of that is BS, and based in figures 100s of years old from before modern medicine and nutrition! (old article, still true: www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-24128176 )

Conceiving does get harder as you get older, but there's no cliff-edge at 35. It makes me sad that so many women, even past 30, automatically problematise conception and that chances are it will be fine.... my sister broke up with her long term partner when she was 30, met a lovely guy 3 years later and had to delay conceiving for a year after having ovarian cysts treated, but she still did conceive quite easily when she was over 35.

Please try not to worry and just do what is right for you at the right time. I had the same thoughts as you and I thought i was going to have to go through months of trying (I turned 35 last month) and ended up pregnant the first month we tried ( I think I am 4 weeks now just got a positive test on Friday) It has come as a big surprise! I know it doesn’t happen like that for everyone but it has for us.

There is no cliff edge - you don't wake up the day after your 35th bday and are infertile. That being said as women we do need to take responsibility for our fertility and recognise that YES fertility does decline and we shouldn't put off having a family if that is what we want and expect it to be as easy in our late 30s that it would have been in our 20s - at 37 you are statistically less likely to get pregnant as easily as someone who is 30? Our eggs do decline and at 40 only 13% of our eggs are expected to be chromosomally normal. Falling to 6% by age 43. If fertility DIDNT decline then the success rates for IVF would be the same for all age groups which it isn't. There are significant variations

But male fertility is also an issue these days - something like men are 30% LESS fertile than they were in the 1970s due to environmental and social factors.

Yes I agree with ivfgottostaypositive. It is something to take seriously. Age is a very important factor in egg (DNA) quality. However I hope you focus your energy not on worrying about the past which you can't change, but on practical planning for the future. Ending a relationship with your current boyfriend is a must if you want to be a mum it seems. Lockdown makes it extra tricky if you live together. Plan to get out dating within 6 months (I met a previous long term relationship online and another two through social events like speed dating and meetup.com events). Tell guys on the first date you hope to start a family within the next couple of years at the latest. If you meet a lovely guy 1 year from now, you can both get tested for fertility 1 year later so you'd be 34/35 and still able to try to conceive by 35/36. I had my son via IVF first go at 35/36. I'm hopeful it won't be too long til you can enjoy motherhood too 😉

I too got pregnant first time after my 35th birthday! It's different for every person I got my DH on Vit C and Zinc supplements it's supposed to improve sperm quality just in case, I took folic avid and vit D too!
Xxx

I think it only very slowly declines, the real decline is after 40. I got pregnant very easily at 33 and 35, and then have been through hell TTC for the last 3 years since turning 40. You still have time though.