Husband infertile

[zebradazzle]

We had such a bad year last year with me being in hospital a lot and were convinced 2020 was our year for a fresh start and to try to conceive. Obviously things went on hold because of Covid-19 and so for now we decided to do anhome fertility test with Dr Fertility just to see if it was even possible. I know these home tests aren't an exact science or 100% reliable, but with app the clinics and GP surgeries limited or closed and this isn't urgent we can't do much else. My test came back that I'm fertile and was thrilled. My husband did his whoch also tests the motility of his sperm and it came back negative. He is devastated and I've reassured him we'll repeat it in a few weeks as it might just be timing. The thing is he can't maintain an erection so we never have intercourse because of that and he has a very small penis. We do still enjoy foreplay and everything else and if we were fertile we had planned on using the turkey baster method of conception. All these things combined i wonder if anyone else has the same issue. I don't know what to do to support my hushand as I'm super sad too but can't show it as I'd hate for him to feel bad about it even more.

I dont know what to say really but, I didnt want to read and run....

I think you done well so far.

FIrst thing is to give him a bit of support and reassurance. Put a smile on ( even if you dont feel that way) and tell him the tests arent always right and in most cases the sperm count is something can be improved... You need him to be positive and hopefull and willing to work on this little project with you.

Second is you, have a bit of a cry because it is sad to hear it, even if this is only a test and even it is a wrong test. Take a bath and/or eat some ice cream.. they will both help in almost all cases. 😉

Third, say the same things you said to him..Tests arent accurate and you can work on numbers. This is only the start of the journey. Unless he has zero sperm this is still something to work with.... and once you start the process, it doesnt matter how much far you need to do and what method you will use. They can go in and take the sperms if it is what is needed... and even if there is no sperm, there is donations .... just try to stay positive.

Fourth is the action. Call your GP and tell them you want to talk to them about this test. Both of you need to start that process with your GPs. I know we should't bother the GPs and NHS with time wasting stuff but GPs are still working, and I think it is is still important and I dont think it is time wasting. I dont know your age but trust me, if you want kids, dont put it off (older sister advice from me).

Fifth, relax.... you have just dealth with the first (in)fertility drama.... Nothing is straight forward, nothing happens fast and there are many twist in all our stories. The most important thing is to stay positive and dont let bad news to paralise you. Always find an action in every event and challange... for example, Research supplements to support the sperm numbers, check out the web sites of some fertility clinics - they detail different options... even join in an open evening... they have them online now.... you can listen and even ask question.... As long as you find an action and follow it through....

And always .... we are all here if you need a chat. Good luck .... trust me, it will work out well 😊

Hi @zebradazzle I'd certainly get a second opinion on this with a semen analysis arranged either through your GP or at a private fertility clinic. He could also start taking supplements such as wellman conception or proceive. Good luck.

I didn’t want to read and run either.

Have a cry for sure, it certainly helps with all the stress that we have at the moment.

My husband did an online semen analysis and it came back the lowest it could be. He was also devastated and really beat himself up.

We were referred to the fertility clinic and they did his SA, his results came back above average. Please tell your husband not to worry, it could be incorrect and if it isn’t there are lots of ways to improve semen.
The clinics also have ways of helping you get pregnant if the semen doesn’t improve.

Try not to panic just yet and get yourself referred for tests. It will be ok :) x

I'd definitely get him in to do an SA at the hospital. There's are much more accurate. They also say that you need to do at least two SA's to confirm the problem because there are a number of factors which can affect a test at that time

In the meantime get your partner on some vitimins. Wellman conception tablets, COQ10 etc which can help improve the sperm.

Which at home test did you do? There are a few things women should get tested - blood tests to make sure you do ovulate, test to check your tubes are clear etc

Good luck with everything!

I would get tested properly when clinics open and in the meantime get some supplements for you both and start taking them. I am not sure I’d trust a test that said you’re either fertile or not fertile. They can’t check whether you are ovulating etc unless you do tests on different days of your cycle plus you haven’t had a scan to check how many follicles you have etc. Clinics are starting to reopen now so get a proper assessment.

Those tests are hardly reliable

And the test for you in no way means you are "fertile" it just means it's just picked up some prerequisite hormones. It can't say if your egg quality is crap or whether your tubes or blocked or if there any issues with your uterus etc. You really can't rely on them and I'd recommend getting the tests done at a private IVF clinic x

It's tough, male infertility is really hard on a man's ego and it can be so tough to handle sensitively. In terms of what you can do about it, a lot depends on the cause of the problem. Try and get a referral to a urologist for your OH - if you can afford to go private, lots of people recommend Jonathan Ramsay.

I'm currently 6 weeks pregnant naturally even though my OH had a sperm count which was low in all areas. I put our success mainly down to changing his diet to low Fodmap after he was diagnosed with IBS. I think the supplements we used might also have helped - they're called FH Pro and they're from America. They're expensive, but really good quality. On our successful cycle, we also had sex every day over my fertile window - usually the advice is every other day but I've heard that where sperm count/quality is an issue, every day is best.

Good luck and don't give up hope!

If it’s just motility then the Superdrug male fertility supplement is great for increasing it. My husband used this and it went up by 30%