A month in, how are feeling?

[ChatWithMe]

To all the ladies desperate to be pregnant but aren't.

It's now been one month of lockdown. I'm finding every day feels like the last. Like groundhog day.

Been trying to keep busy, be productive, get out daily for sunshine, do my hobbies. I find I was snacking on chocolate and biscuits more than usual so now I'm trying to be good.

Feeling sad I'm not pregnant and may never be again. Noticing how prominent my wrinkles and spider veins are getting which highlight my progressing age (almost 39). Feeling anxious the IVF clinics won't be opening any time soon.

How are you all feeling - infertility and lockdown, one month in? x

@chat sadly no social distancing I mean we try but I manage a pre school and we are open to key worker children only but in reality pre schoolers do not get social distancing.

I will get over it but I think I'm just running low.

When I think though in last month I have:

My dad suffered a massive anyerism. Kept going for weeks but sadly past away.

Two days after he was admitted to hospital we had a call from clinic with start for ivf.

Due to dad we pushed it back a month coz I just couldnt deal with everything.

Covid 19 really got its claws into the world. Stopping visits to my dad at the end.

His funeral had the max of ten people allowed.
His mum my grandma has been in isolation for weeks so haven't even been able to see her.

My mum is angry with the world.

No idea when ivf will start again .
When I write it down it's a lot really.

Hope everyone is doing ok. I just had to vent somewhere.

@thefishthatcouldwish We all have those kinds of days - having a good vent will hopefully help! You're going through a lot so cut yourself some slack. It's okay to feel that way.

I definitely second @ChatWithMe about some random, mind numbing TV/book/Netflix and treat yourself. IVF is hard enough as it is.

It does sound like a very low point in your life thefishthatcouldwish. Sometimes when you hit rock bottom though you have to remember the only way it can go is up. Hope it's not long til you get your treatment, a BFP and a lovely little baby for the new year to mark a new start! All we have is hope so don't loose yours x

Thanks all. Hope you're all doing ok today.

There are times when I feel overwhelmed by everything but when I step back I think I've actually dealt with a lot.

This whole ivf is such a drain isnt it.

Yeah it is draining thefishthatcouldwish.

Thought I'd share what's been on my mind today...

I'm happy that tomorrow May is finally here cause it's likely lockdown ends this coming month. For anyone keeping tabs on lockdown, it's day 40 tomorrow! I was telling DH how that is the length of time women from some of cultures stay at home after giving birth. Gosh! Puts that in perspective, eh?

I was also telling DH how it's funny/sad that baby 1 was free on the NHS but imaginary baby 2 will cost us almost £30k with nothing to show for it. Guess it's like the saying, the best things in life are free! :-/

Hope you guys are all hanging in there x

Day 40! I cannot believe it has gone by so quickly to be honest, which is a worry for us all as we waiting for treatment. I've struggled with the rubbish weather this week - going outside into our (very small) garden really breaks up my day so when I can't do that the days can drag a little.

And hope you've been feeling a little better @thefishthatcouldwish!

Sharing some positive news today - no detail yet but hopefully there will be more later 🤞

Taken from Instagram :) feels like there is hope 🌈

Thanks Venus start that's great news!!

Here's the link to HFEA FAQs I just read. It says clinics can apply to reopen May 11th.

Whoops. For got the link:

www.hfea.gov.uk/treatments/covid-19-and-fertility-treatment/coronavirus-covid-19-guidance-for-patients/frequently-asked-questions-for-patients-on-coronavirus-covid-19/

Wow that is a huge step forward.

Yes, and it has happened a lot sooner than I expected to be honest. Great news.