Mother nature is cruel

[birdlady12]

In June we will have been trying to get pregnant for 3 years. My DH has a low sperm count so we have only a 10% chance of conceiving naturally.

I started my IVF consultations on 3rd March, first few tests done etc. Of course now its all stopped and is on hold. I've been waiting for 18 months to get this far. As we are self employed we have to time it right with the time of year we were going to do IVF, summer is a no no, so it will be october before i can begin to think about starting this again.

Last week I was late, 8 days. I thought prayed that maybe a minor lockdown miracle had happened and i was finally going to get a BFP.

My DS had her third baby early on friday, i thought that this would all be perfect timing and dared to think about us having babies a similar age.

And then for proper dramatic effect AF made an appearance on friday night. You couldn't write this shit.

I'm so sad in my life right now. Just needed to write this down i think.

I am so sorry to hear that you’re having such a hard time.

It’s bloody shit when cycles are delayed. I had one delayed significantly around Christmas - for different reasons obviously - and it broke my heart. It’s even harder when family members become pregnant (I also had this, four close family members in 3 months!) as you’re happy for them but also unbelievably sad for yourself.

I wish I could say something to make it all better, but I can’t. You just do what you need to do to survive this time. It WILL pass. It may pass like a kidney stone, but it will pass.

Would it help to speak to a counsellor at all? I did once but it was mostly so I could shout and rant and rave at someone who wasn’t emotionally invested and there would be no fall out - it was liberating to be able to do this and not have to worry about what I said, say angry things I didn’t really mean, etc.

And as for late periods....I mean, there are no words. Aunt Flo is a bitch.

Late periods are such an insult! Especially when you're usually so regular and you know you timed dtd right. It seems intentionally cruel, like nature is taunting you. And painful periods too. As if the wound needs any salt!

So sorry you're going through this. Hopefully the IVF will work for you first time (it did for me after many years of unwelcome periods)