Losing hope, clomid, secondary infertility

[MysteriousSheep]

Don’t really know why I’m posting, just feeling really low. I have been TTC my second child for about 7years now (have a 12yr old who we conceived without difficulty, two months after a mmc @12weeks). A couple of years ago I got pregnant using clomid I bought online, but unfortunately miscarried around 8-9weeks. Since then I have been more responsible and have been getting seen at the fertility clinic, they confirmed annovulation but no definite reason why. I am in the tww of my 5th official clomid cycle and just had my day 21 bloods and progesterone is only 21. They say this confirms ovulation as they like it over 20, but I’m pretty sure it’s been another unsuccessful month.
So that’s my story!
Feeling really sad as I’m thinking I’ll never have another child and am just driving myself crazy I in yet another fruitless tww. And I must have spent so much money on pregnancy tests over the years! And time staring at negative strips, and googling everything etc.

May I ask how old you are now?.

Has your man been tested to date?. I ask only as it is of no real benefit to solely test you here; he has to be tested as well. What are they suggesting after clomid if anything?. And I would be questioning their lack of diagnosis to date also.

I’m 33, so not ancient by any means! Yeah, he has had his sperm tested, all came back normal/good. It was thought I must have PCOS due to very irregular periods/not ovulating, however my bloods such as testosterone etc were all normal, and on scan my ovaries didn’t look polycystic, plus I don’t have any other symptoms apart from lack of ovulation. I’m only slightly overweight (BMI 27).
It’s just very sad and frustrating, it feels like everyone else gets pregnant so easily. Although I know this isn’t true, and lots of people struggle. Last month I bumped into THREE colleagues in the fertility clinic waiting room!
I am very grateful for the lovely son we do have, just I would’ve really liked to have another child. We are good parents and have lots of love to give.

I don't have any advice or information to give but I just wanted to offer a virtual hug. TTC is very hard, and secondary infertility can sometimes be viewed as less difficult or painful by some then full infertility, but no matter how lucky we are to have a child it's still very difficult to be infertile. And 12 years is a bloody long time. Hats off to you for not loosing it by now cos I think I would have x

Also struggling with secondary infertility and feeling really down about it. I've been given 2 rounds of clomid to start but that's all I'm able to have and we have to fund ivf ourselves after that. No one seems to get it.

After 5 years of ttc both DH and I were tested to see if there were genetic problems. Turns out DH is carrier of a chromosome issue. He inherited it from his mum who is also a carrier. His mum had 4 children but several miscarriages in between, her sister was a carrier and had no children. What I'm saying is if one of you is a carrier of something like this it may explain your difficulty. It's not one of the regular fertility tests that most people have. Might be worth getting tested as at least you'd have answers .

Thanks for the replies and support. In a way it’s nice to read and hear from people in similar situations. I generally have a lovely life and great friends etc but I don’t like to admit how down I am about not having another child. I guess I don’t like to show too much vulnerability or dwell on sad things. Have been considering counselling or something, just as a safe space to talk. Or maybe I should change the way I interact with the people I am close to. But the truth is that I am very happy, just have a longing for another child and feel very disappointed and maybe a bit bitter that we haven’t had another successful pregnancy yet.

@YouBoggleMyMind how come they have said only two cycles of clomid? It’s all pretty vague where I am re how long we can continue on the clomid.
I am 99.9% sure that it hasn’t worked this month (doesn’t stop me staring at negative tests every morning like), so if it doesn’t work next month too (6th cycle) I am going to make us an appointment to discuss options. Maybe use the money I’m saving for an expensive chicken house and put that towards IVF as a last ditch attempt??? That seems very daunting.

NICE guidelines say 6 months and they hospital I have says a limit of 12. We had 10 the first time and now are only allowed to do 2 more. However when I had my base scan yesterday the nurse had given a prescription for 3 cycles with the idea that if the first 2 didn't work we could try a 3 at the consultants discretion. It left like the pressure had been lifted just a tiny bit.

I see! Well best of luck to you @YouBoggleMyMind. Does this mean you are also trying for your second? And it took 10 cycles first time? Sorry, lots of questions! You don’t have to answer!

Sorry only just seen this @MysteriousSheep

Yes baby no2 for us.

I have pcos and was diagnosed in 2011. Started trying for baby no1 in 2014, no luck for a year so pushed for tests and a referral to the fertility clinic.

3 rounds of clomid at 50, 100 and 150 had no effect. Scan nurse asked if I was on metformin which I wasn't so I was then given a further 3 rounds. Between rounds 4 and 9 I had. I response again, didn't catch, over stimmed twice and miscarried early on. Round was 10 was perfect and I got pregnant on 2017.

There was also some back and forth in the middle about swapping to letrozole but it wasn't prescribed as it is now as it is a cancer drug and I would have had to either fund it ourselves or waiting for approval so I carried on with clomid and corrected the dose so I didn't over stim.

In terms of clomid, we've been lucky but it's tough when it's your second as the funding doesn't exist and ivf is so expensive, it makes it feel very real that you might not get your 2nd child.

Another 3 rounds plus metformin*
Didn't respond*

Well, after feeling so so hopeless following the quite low progesterone result, I have got a VERY faint positive pregnancy test this morning! Considering I’ve been testing every day (stupid I know!) and getting bfn the whole time, this has given me a glimmer of hope! Maybe I just ovulated later this cycle? It’s day 28 today, so would’ve hoped for a stronger line of actually pregnant, but my cycles do vary between 28-35 days, so who knows??

Very faint! Appeared within a minute though. Just in case anyone reading this! Will retest in couple of days if no period.

That's very exciting @MysteriousSheep !!
I ovulated later in my clomid cycles for sure. I didn't test until day 35 when I finally got pregnant as it stayed! Good luck!

If you ovulated later the progesterone test wouldn't be fully accurate either and may have shown a higher result a few days later. Fingers crossed 🤞🏻

Any update @MysteriousSheep

Another faint positive this morning on a clear blue. Can’t quite believe it yet though, would like to see a darker line!

Piccy?

I chucked it in the bin this morning before work and they’ve been changed now so I picture I’m afraid. Sure I’ll be testing again tomorrow though! Ha ha

How are you doing @YouBoggleMyMind ? Are you in your first clomid cycle for baby number 2?

Hi again! So couldn’t wait til the morning and used the digi I had, and it confirmed it - I am very early pregnant! Am in shock but so happy. Hoping so much that this one sticks

Congratulations!
No not started anything yet. Want to be clear of a December baby for a start but also I don't want to start provera and then clomid and not be able to have a scan due to covid-19

We had secondary infertility likely due to My PCOS as DH tasted fine. We were very lucky that a combination of clomid and metformin worked for us. Looks like clomid has done wonders for you too! Congratulations!

Thanks guys, am very happy and surprised!
Hope you have success once you feel ready to start the clomid again @YouBoggleMyMind

Tentative congratulations. That's lovely news. We went through years of hell to have our first and I have sort of accepted that she will be an only.