Felling a bit deflated by it all

[Dot457]

Hi all.

You might have seen my name floating about. Me and my partner are about to start our second round of IVF in the next few weeks. For some reason this time I'm more scared than last time! The last one ended in miscarriage and the first round was a long time coming after years of tests and waiting etc.

I know it's probably because I know what to expect, and I'm just so worried it will end bad! It's easier said than done to "not stress and worry" but I just can't seem to shake the feeling. I'm sick of trying to occupy my self by watching Netflix to take my mind off it. I have a full time job and more often than not I'm always busy doing something.

Just feel like I'm at a loose end and don't know if this is normal or I'm just at my whitts end to be honest!

I think there is no normal in this. I think everything comes in waves and some days you feel like you can cope and other days everything just seems too much. My first try also ended in a miscarriage and it did just feel like the cruelest outcome. I’d geared myself up for IVF not working and then began to hope only for that then to be taken away. I’m currently in the 2ww from my second transfer and I definitely feel more stressed/nervous/ despondent. I’m trying just to accept that this is how I feel at the moment and not feel guilty or bad for feeling this way.

My counsellor tells me just to give myself a break and not judge my feelings or ask if they’re rational. What we’re going through is a massive emotional thing and it’s normal to react to that. If you haven’t, I’d recommend using the counselling sessions included with your IVF package (it’s a legal requirement to provide 2 per course of treatment). I’ve found it really helpful.

Take care of yourself! X

Its so easy to say not to stress and worry, it is all so stressful and hard! But yeah l think part of the problem is you know too much. I think occupying you mind is a good thing. Plus as little googling as possible even though it is hard not to. Good luck with it all.

Deflated is definitely the word I would use too! I'm working from Home today to wait for the next lot of drugs to be delivered for our 4th egg collection

I had two cycles last year 3 transfers - 1 ruptured ectopics s 2 BFNs

@Littlelot - thank you for your reassurance, sometimes I feel like such a bitch with the way I feel! I'm up and down I often wonder if there's something else wrong with me! I blame the hormone imbalance I have! How is your 2ww going? Hope everything is going as smooth as it can do!

@EL8888 - Thank you. I've literally come on here now to try and keep busy, just so I feel a bit more human by reading everyone else posts, hope that's not too sad!

@itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted - Aw I'm weirdly doing the same thing tomorrow! I'm working from home to wait for my next batch of injections arriving. Getting cabin fever sets me off as I like to be out keeping busy, even if it's just nipping to B&M haha! But tomorrow is important! I'm just stressing that I'm going to be late on my period which will make me late no doubt but it's what I do best (Rolling eyes). Sorry to hear about how your IVF journeys ended, fingers crossed for this one! When are you due to start?

@Dot457 hope you’re feeling a bit better. I got a bfp on Saturday - also my birthday! After last time I’m feeling a lot more cautious but trying to remain hopeful. Fingers crossed I’ll survive the next three weeks until my first scan. A lot of waiting!

Take care xxxx

Thats amazing news!! Keeping everything crossed for you xxxxx