What to do with excess embryos?

[RainbowSlide]

Im not sure if this is the right spot but didn't know where else to put it. Im sorry if this is insensitive to those struggling ttc and in their ivf journeys, it's such a hard road.

We are lucky enough to have conceived a second child via ivf, who i gave birth to in October. We have two frozen embryos left, they've been pgd tested and are good quality.

I feel like I have a duty to the embryos we've created to give them all a chance at life. Although i'm 37 so it's not necessarily great timing unless i want two more babies back to back (if they're successful). I also had a c section (2 in total) so have been told it's c sections every time from now on.

What are the issues to consider in deciding what to do with them? Im not crazy about donation as they'd be genetic siblings to my kids, but could be convinced? Donation to science? Are there other options beyond letting them go?

Interested to hear the views of others also thinking about this decision.

Hi there

We are in the same position and last year I posted a similar query (different username at the time).

We had 4 embryos, now have 2 children and 2 frozen embryos. I appreciate how fortunate a position we are in but we are stuck as to what to do with the embryos. We've been given the choice of
More FET (very likely more children - eek)
Donate the embryos to a couple
Donate them to research
Allow them to perish

I suspect eventually we will decide on the middle one re research. We've thought long and hard and can't bring ourselves to donate them to a couple. I'd love to be that selfless. DH in particular struggles with the idea that his biological child would be out there, sharing DNA with his own children. He's quite sentimental about them and would just keep them safely frozen forever if he could.

We can't face the thought of our beautiful embryos simply perishing. You don't get told when it's happening and they are basically put into clinical waste. Being used for clinical research feels like the least worst option. At least they serve a helpful purpose.

It's such a hard thought. When you have IVF, to an extent your embryos become synonymous with your babies because you view them as potential people. They take on a precious element.

To try to make myself feel better about everything I wanted to donate my eggs to a couple but unfortunately I'm too old now. I wish I'd done it earlier.

Good luck whatever you decide and congratulations on your lovely children.

I have exactly same issue! I have 7 embryos left and I do want one more child but there will be some left. I would love to donate them (I can't because I was adopted with no previous family history so sadly they will be disposed of which makes me incredibly sad especially when I look at my beautiful son) but yeah I would donate them!

Research, it may provide insight into congenital disease.

Thanks for your replies. I guess if i'm brutally honest, i want to try with both (separately) and hope only one sticks and that's our family done. But you can't guarantee anything!

Ivfbabymama can you tell me what the issue is with being adopted?

Sorry, ivfbabymomma1

@RainbowSlide sorry only just seen your reply! They say because I have no family or medical history that they can't use them incase theres an underlying medical issue with me therefore the babies 😨

We have the same dilemma - we have 9 frozen and have just paid storage fees for another year. But I'm pretty sure that I don't want another child. I think donating them to research is probably our best option but my DH doesn't want to. I can't imagine just letting them go though. It's a really hard one.

Same issue here. We are hoping to go through the process of embryo donation in a couple of years time - both embryos are top quality, day 5, genetically normal. I hope someone might want them...

My clinic had the option of doing a non-medicated embryo transfer during a non-fertile part of my cycle.

We didn't have any unused embryos in the end but I liked the idea.

We decided To donate to medical science - tho haven’t been used yet. Clinic will tell us if and when

Our clinic said eventually they would like to transfer at 10 days

Years ago was day 2/3 tops

Now 5/6

Research is how Ivf progresses

We finally got preg after 10yrs ttc and 5 ivf so would like to hope that if our embryos are used for research then other woman with infertility problem will be able to have success

I've never been in that position but I think I would like to donate them to another couple. Any couple willing to go through IVF, and willing to go as far as embryo donation, is truly desperate for a child and will love them very much. I'd rather think that my embryos are given a chance to grow and become babies.

But I realize that's not for everyone. I'm also considering egg donation once my family is complete.

Can I add my two pence in, we have one child through IVF, currently on meds for FET to try for a sibling. Our first round of IVF was FET to my best friend as a surrogate as I’ve had chemo since 2011 & wasn’t allowed to stop or I lost it on the NHS & would cost over £100k a year to carry on (at the point of trying is been on it 4 years & my cancerous life sentence had gone into total remission for 3 years) ANYWAY we only got a couple of embryos Cos my fertility is screwed, but we were very lucky.

First one worked to my best friend and I’m now off chemo & trying to carry myself.

If we didn’t have any embryos or the egg collection didn’t work we looked into using both donor eggs & donor embryos & would have done both. The waiting list is very long as supply is low precisely because of the reasons mentioned above which I totally understand. But sometimes it can be the only option and the greatest gift

Thanks Minster for sharing your experience. I wish you all the best.

We also have frozen embryos and have kept them frozen because we’re not sure what to do. We used an egg donor so that complicates things too I think. But they’re my husband’s genetic offspring and full generic siblings to our child.

In the meantime we’re paying for storage and waiting for a decision to become clear ...