Hi all, have had a "silent miscarriage" (which is apparently a thing) after two years ttc. Had private scan at approximately 6.5 weeks, they said I was only 6 weeks and it was too early to see anything, but I was quite sure about my dates. Anyway, they said everything was healthy (yolk sack present) and to come back in 10 days which I did. Would have been almost 8 weeks. Anyway, still no baby and no yolk sack either. They referred me to NHS, had ANOTHER scan today, and they confirmed no baby and no yolk sack. Also there's all stuff floating around in there, which they said probably means the tissue is all breaking down. But they said their hands are tied and they can't offer me any drugs or surgery to sort the issue out until they scan me again in another two weeks, but essentially heavily implied it was a formality.
So my question is what do I do now? Ironically I feel very well at the moment. I don't feel sad hardly at all, in fact I don't feel much of anything, except irritated. There was a family at the clinic today who I know weren't doing anything wrong, but there were 4 adults there looking all happy and well, with a beautiful toddler all beaming and loud, and I wanted to shout at the family and ask them why one of them couldn't have had the toddler at home when clearly there were several people in there who looked to be having a really bad time, who were having their faces rubbed in it. Must stress I KNOW this is irrational (which is why I didn'y say anything), but can I be out in the world? I feel like a fraud being at home as don't feel that bad at all considering. But am scared to go to work in case I suddenly have a miscarriage, which in theory could happen at any time. But I could work from home, as have a laptop (I am a quantity surveyor). But then am I suddenly going to feel worse emotionally? We were both so excited to conceive, the last few weeks have been the happiest of my life, so is it just taking a while to sink in? Everyone says it's fine to feel however you do, but I don't know what that is. Boyfriend doesn't think I should be working at all, but I already feel resentful about all the weeks and years I have lost to this ongoing struggle with infertility (and now miscarriage) that I don't know if I want to put my life on hold another moment. On the other time I keep needing to sleep. I have 7-8 hours per night, plus if I am home often a nap for 2-3 hours in the afternoon, which obviously I couldn't do if I was at work. Not sure if I'm so tired due to grief (which I don't consciously feel) or my body still thinking it's pregnant.
So sorry for the long ramble. What should I do between now and when I have my next scan in two weeks / naturally finish the miscarriage whilst waiting? What did other people do whilst in the same position? Thanks.