Overwhelmed and wondering how to cope

[Jenny3141]

We've been TTC for over a year , I have been diagnosed with pcos and endometriosis and we've just had our letter through for our first appointment after so many tests. They don't explain what here doing or what they've found so I'm so confused looking at the other posts on here

I just don't know how best to cope, the pill stopped all my symptoms so since being off that I just feel so rubbish and unattractive and I've put on so much weight and it looks like a long journey ahead. my DH is so loving but he just wants to stay positive and I don't want to make him upset and I don't have a close female friend to talk to .

I just wanted to know how everyone else gets by as I hate to be so wallowing especially for my first post here but I just don't know how to hold everything together right now.

Hey Jenny, noticed no one had replied yet so wanted to reach out to offer some support. I know how you feel - we’ve also been ttc for 1 year+ and I’ve been finding it very difficult. The tests, results and possible ‘what nexts’ are confusing and often exhausting.

Here’s how I’ve coped so far/what has helped a little:

1. Make a list of questions as you think of them, and when you get to your appointment ask all the ones you want to (I forced myself to do this even if I felt a bit silly on some of them)

1. I’m not sure how far through testing etc you are, but I kept thinking we were one step closer to a solution and then we’d have yet another test that led to another test etc. I’ve done quite a bit of reading around the things they typically do to check fertility related issues, which has given me a better idea of next possible options and is helpful.

1. Try to accept that your journey is just not going to be easy, even though it is for some people. With every birthday (I’ve had 2 since we started trying over 18 months ago) I get worked up that I’m getting that bit older and now won’t have a baby at X age. I’ve been trying to come to terms with this because if we ever do manage to have a baby, it will be OUR baby, and that’s the most important thing.

1. Make time for yourself and really try to enjoy it. As much as I would love to be a mum I try to still take pleasure from the fact that I can spend a few hours on the sofa reading a magazine or the paper on a Saturday morning, without feeling like I should really be doing something else.

1. Know that you aren’t alone! I find reading these boards really helpful - there are many people who have been through so much worse than I/we have, and although not all of them will have happy endings the fact that they have battled through gives me courage.

Hope this helps and that you get the answers and any real-life support you need - best of luck!

Hello Jenny,
Sorry to read all of this - I also find that there is a lack of care, information or even just basic explanations especially with the NHS. I wish they did some of this before appointments, but once you get in there ask all of the questions you need to! I agree with Fireplace2016 -it feels a bit silly, but you've just got to do it.

I also joined Adia health, because it's free and you can ask gynaecologists and fertility experts questions directly. I also use their meditations to help me relax as well because this journey can be extremely stressful personally and with my partner too
adiahealth.com

Also, I second all of the other things that Fireplace 2016said - thank you! It is amazing advice, and I actually needed to hear that too.

Good luck both of you xxx

Sorry you’re going through this.

Everyone has their own approach, mine was to investigate my fertility issues and save for private healthcare because of some bad experiences at my NHS clinics.

Found forums useful to talk about it all.

At one point I became really low and sought (private) counselling, which really helped.