Just need a rant :(

[LouLouB1987]

2020 will signify 3 years of TTC for us - 'unexplained infertility' so no real answers.

One round of IVF - fresh transfer ended in MC at 5 weeks in April :( 1 FET ended BFN in August... now out of embryos! Never had a sniff of those elusive two lines other than above.

We've had a recent consultation to go over everything as we have 1 more round of IVF left (planning for this next year). Few tweaks and extra bits agreed for next time.

But I just feel like I'm loosing the will and needed to rant and write it all out. I feel less of a woman. Inadequate. Just generally useless. I know I have a lot more to offer than a womb (well, a faulty one) and I know that a lot more go through a lot worse but it's really taking it's toll.

I guess there is no 'answer' to this post. But any positive comments would be nice to hear :) xx

Awww no words can make this better. I’m a similar boat (well, haven’t even managed to successfully get to transfer yet) and it is shit.

2 more Facebook birth announcements today - think it is time for me to leave FB again

3 years for us also although 5 mc and 2 ruptured ectopics means 2 lines on a test just makes me scared and has me mentally organising work commitments around emergency hospital admissions and a few days off just to sit and cry about the injustice of it all 😬

Also 2 failed FET

I'm waiting on PGS results from testing 2 blasts that made it on our second cycle last week but already mentally prepared myself that both will be abnormal

Currently checking out bank loans on google to see if we can fund one final cycle in early 2020 then going to book a holiday

Ah ladies. It's just awful isn't it. And yes, injustice is a good way to describe it. So sorry for all you're going through.

I guess the only thing we have is hope but it's hard to get out of bed some days!

Good luck to us all x

@LouLouB1987 Rant away! We all need it every now and again to keep us sane.

I'm in the same boat as you. Next year will be 3 years for us too. As hard as it is, keep it positive and remember to live your life, and not let your fertility rule your life. I've been OBSESSED for the last two years and I've been making a conscious effort over the last six months to do things I love and to make my life worth living again. What do you do in your spare time? X

Thanks @HJF84 it's just nice to know we're not alone!

Well we've just bought a house so that's keeping me pretty busy. Welcome the distraction! I'm really trying to get back in to a fitness routine and just get outside more. Fingers crossed time will pass quickly until 2020 when we can start to think about the next round of IVF! It's hard not to let it take over x

Hi
I had IVF ( ICSI ) due to male fertility (really low/poor sperm)

my first cycle last year resulted in 5 eggs only 1 fertilised.. transferred that one 3days after and it was successful but we miscarriaged at 10 weeks.. no eggs left so had to start another cycle 2month after my miscarriage and it cost £5000 we got the same outcome at egg collection only 5 eggs retrieved and only 1 fertilised.. so we transferred it again 3 days after and ive just got my baby girl 🥰 she’s 10 week old... born July 2019... don’t give up..
Good luck for the future ❤️

Hi @LouLouB1987

I am so sorry to hear about your situation! I am yet to start my first round of IVF but I have been researching alot on how to prepare my body for it. I do not know if you have done or did not do any of these things but this is what I am just starting now and you could give it a go. Its all about improving egg quality and preparing the lining of your uturus.

1. I am starting to take lots of supplements; Fish oil, mangnesium with calcium, folic acid and Vitimin C. Theres others I want to take but these are a good start. Theres a supplement called DHEA which is supposed to be good but hard to find in the UK.

1. I am starting acupanture next week which is suggested to be done around 10-20 weeks before treatment at once every week. I am going along to a chinese herbal medicine place to have a consultation but they recommend this and herbs. Will see how it goes! I watched a You Tube Video of a girl advising on what she did and she also said she had acupanture befoee her transfer on that day and afterwards as well.

1. This is general lifestyle advice but my research says to give up sugar, processed food, eat healthy and eat foods which promote egg quality. These are berries, salmon, dark leavy vegetables, ginger etc. Also to cut out caffience. This is hard for me as I love my coke zero but I am going to try and cut this out or cut it down at least! Also to drink lots of water, 8 glasses a day for improving egg quality.

1. Just also staying active is supposed to be good as well.

No idea if there is other stuff but this is what I am trying to start now anyways and hopefully that will work for me. Let me know if you did any of this.

xx

Oh @shazzz1xx that's wonderful to hear! Congratulations. Lovely to hear hopeful stories!

@Freespirit24 thanks for your reply. Interesting to hear. We had a consultation following the first failed IVF and have started taking DHEA, COQ10, omega oils, zinc, folic acid and vitamins. Also really am starting to watch what I eat and exercise more. Just generally trying to be healthier.

I have heard about the acupuncture but having just bought a house, money is tight!

Wishing you all the best xx

@LouLouB1987

Oh thats wonderful, can I ask where did you get the DHEA from?

xxx

Thankyou louloub1987

I only gave my body 1 month from the last cycle that I misscarraged.. so 1 period then start back to a new cycle.. first cycle was long protocol and the 2nd cycle was short protocol

I'm just sending hugs. You will have thought and thought and thought so extra advice not required here. It's so hard to put your mind to anything else. Rant away op.

@Freespirit24 we ended up getting it via Amazon I think. 'Puritans Pride' brand. But our fertility clinic is now advertising it!

@minesagin37 thank you. It's just so hard! It's so impossible to not think about it. Even when you tell yourself over and over it creeps in! Doesn't help that the whole world seems to be pregnant 😂 xx