Visiting a Fertility Clinic whilst Pregnant?

[TwinkleInMyEye2020]

Just wondering whether people would be OK with seeing an obviously pregnant woman in a fertility clinic waiting room? My old clinic offers additional services such as acupuncture which I may well continue to use. Ive asked them about it and they say this is fine. I don’t want to upset anyone though...

Yes a lot of people have said they’d find this distressing. I’m going to talk to the clinic to see if we can find a solution.

Hello,

Interestingly I’m trying for number 2 and there was a possibility I couldn’t go for our fertility appointment without taking DS1 along. We didn’t have to take him in the end but spoke to consultant about it - he said baby was more than welcome. And in his experience it gave people hope. He said he knew some people would be upset but at the end of the day there are babies everywhere And with the best will in the world pregnancy and babies can’t be avoided. So I think being there and pregnant is fine!! (To be honest when I had my ivf I was so bloated (had 30+ follicles) I looked pregnant anyway!! )

The receptionist was also telling me about a patient who brought in her ivf triplets! So you sitting quietly pregnant wishing for an appointment seems a lot more discrete than that.....

Also when I had my treatment there were two members of staff who were incredibly pregnant! Are they meant to stop going to work because they work in a fertility clinic?!?

It’s worth saying / I hated seeing and being around pregnant people when I was going through it all - but only because I assumed they’d all got oregnant just by looking at their partner! Seeing someone pregnant who has clearly had fertility treatment is reassuring and gives you faith (IMO)

This is something people obviously differ on though / if I were you I’d go as long as your own discomfort doesn’t ruin the treatment for you!

I had to go to a hospital appointment a few months ago about our fertility issues. Every woman in the waiting room was pregnant, apart from me obviously. I was hardly thrilled about being there anyway and that didn’t help. The hospital clearly don’t have the sense to run different clinics on different days. I was asked for feedback on the hospital appointment, l made clear l was unhappy and why but of course no one ever wants to talk about this kind of thing

“Gave people hope”. Charming simplification of a situation by the consultant 🙄.

Sorry EL8888 it is rubbish.

Hoping it is pretty logical consultant will say baby is welcome, they want your custom (NHS or private, they're getting paid). And they will likely be pleased to see the baby if they helped you get there.
But "gives people hope" is really just trite and dismissive on their part, it doesn't give me hope at all. It might do to some people but plenty of people here saying it would be hard to take. (Though what choice is there?)
Seeing the triplets and no doubt the accompanying excitement would have really pushed me over the edge some days.

I agree visiting with triplets seems insensitive and I Worked really hard to sort out an appointment when we could have a babysitter for our DS as I was aware of other people’s feelings. However I would have taken my son if necessary.

I think the OP wanting to continue with the acupuncturist she has a relationship is a valid reason to attend the clinic and as long as discrete it would be appropriate to go. By discrete I mean you can dress discretely when pregnant - large coat, scarf hanging down. Sitting quietly in the corner. Obviously a different matter if wears her skin tight stripey bodycon dress, stands in the middle of the room rubbing her back and chatting about pregnancy ailments!!

You are completely right they want our business! It would also be discrimination to refuse a woman who now “looks pregnant”!

IMO OP should go but be discrete and mindful of others feelings.

I can see from the previous responses that there are strong feelings about this, but there has to also be some recognition of what is practical too. The scans and appointments are relentless during ivf so I don’t really see how they could practically have different days only when pregnant people can attend, I have had to make myself available on whichever day was the right cycle day and that’s different for each of their ivf patients. Similarly if having ivf the second time there may be no choice but to bring the existing child as I imagine it would be pretty difficult to find childcare multiple times over a couple of months whilst also scraping together the thousands needed for treatment. Appreciate that people find it hard but I think the clinic needs to cater to everybody and that might always mean shielding people who are struggling at the expense of other patients.

Hoping it would of course be wrong for a clinic to discriminate because someone looks pregnant (and plenty of people can look pregnant without actually being pregnant as you say).

I do think OP should be able to have her treatment there, and people should have their follow up treatments, but I think the clinic whose business is to treat people with infertility (and know the effect it can have on mental health) could try to find ways to make it easier on patients who are struggling.

Peaches The scans and appointments are relentless during IVF.

Not with my clinic (possibly to the detriment of outcomes) , it was absolutely a conveyor belt, NHS with option to pay privately. Egg collection date was decided at the beginning, you stimmed for x days with possible changes in dosage but no deviation from planned collection date. Two scans, no blood tests, egg collection, transfer. Scans only available first thing in the morning.

No matter the circumstances of the parent(s) seeing a baby in an IVF clinic can be hard when you're starting another cycle and don't know if it will ever succeed. When you're in that bubble it's bloody hard because you don't know if you'll ever be in a position to have childcare issues.

And in his experience it gave people hope. He said he knew some people would be upset but at the end of the day there are babies everywhere And with the best will in the world pregnancy and babies can’t be avoided.

I’m sorry, but that’s a load of crap and oversimplification. We all know ivf can work, we don’t need other people’s pregnancies and babies to tell us that. If we thought there was no hope we wouldn’t be doing IVF in the first place. Seeing other people’s babies and pregnancies in a fertility clinic, the ONE place where you’d like to think there might be some sensitivity and understanding wouldn’t give me hope, it would make me feel angry, upset and hopeless. And yes, while babies and pregnant women are everywhere and they can’t be avoided, you’d like to think that an infertility clinic is the one place where people might show some empathy and understanding and that you can avoid seeing them.

I didn't find the appointments too bad with IVF.
I actually found IUI was crazy with appointments esp on cycles which were failing miserablely. Scans every other day over a 14 day period. Between the time factor and babysitters have a habit of enquiring how are things going. It's completely natural but its really hard when they ask what's your appointment for - how did you get on.

Yes I'm the mum who took my IVF baby into the clinic to hand a results form in and to say thanks. The Embryoigist who helped create him had a cuddle. I wish I'd got a photo. She was over the moon 'this is what it's all about'.