*trigger warning* 1st FET following successful fresh and failed fresh

[NoImBridgetJones]

We’re lucky enough to have a DD from our first full fresh cycle in 2017.
Was diagnosed with POI aged 29, I’m now 31.
5 follicles, 4 eggs, 3 x day 5 blasts. 1 DD and two in the freezer. We won the freakin’ lottery. Beyond grateful every single day. Every. Single. Day. I couldn’t be more thankful.

Longing for a sibling.

Attempted another fresh this Jul/Aug cycle in the hopes of maximising chances (age is about the only thing I have going for me) but it was a catastrophic failure. 4 follicles, left ovary completely unresponsive. Lead follicle threatened cancellation but proceeded in the hope of getting one good egg. 2 retrieved, 1 mature, sperm sample low morphology on the day so converted to ICSI, embryo arrested on Day 2, nothing to transfer. Disaster.

So now all hopes are on the Frosties from 2017. I’m too scared to use them.

I’m too scared to go back to being infertile after spending the last 2 years pg or bf. I was bf-ing until 2 days before stimms, and am just coming to the end of the first natural cycle after the failure. FET provisionally scheduled for my next bleed in Oct. I’m not eating as healthily as I should. I’m not exercising. I can’t afford to waste a frostie by being ill prepared but preparing makes me feel like an infertile again and takes me back to the hell of the past.

I read ISWTE and followed advice religiously in 2017, but developed extreme anxiety and OCD as a result that was hard to shake. I did no prep for the failed cycle this year.
I’m basically bingeing on chocolate and junk food.

Am I going to ruin my chances for the FET, like I did the fresh?
Should I delay? Did any of it make a difference or was it all dumb luck.

Feeling lost.

Hi @NoImBridgetJones - it took me four cycles of IVF to get where I am right now, which is 24 weeks with a baby girl. The first three cycles I did everything right - prepared for months; diet and exercise were spot-on, I felt relaxed and optimistic. Prime conditions! And yet it didn't work. After the third failure I became demoralised, started allowing myself wine if I were out for dinner right up until the fourth embryo transfer, diet went to hell, I couldn't be bothered exercising because I was so unhappy. I was also really stressed due to work and a parental illness. I didn't think for one second the fourth cycle would work and if I'm honest I think I was rebelling a bit with my lifestyle!

But, bizarrely, it did work. Against every expectation and conventional wisdom. So personally I believe that yes, it's probably better to be as "good" and prepared as you can, but balance is probably better - don't sacrifice every joy and pleasure in life leading up to and during the cycle, but obviously don't go too crazy and reckless either.

I think IVF is a long-haul thing and you need to be able to sustain the effort over a long period of time - I honestly think it's better to live a little along the way.

I’m doing an fet after a successful fresh and I know the exact feeling of not wanting to go back to the stage of life where ivf was all I could think about. I also stopped breastfeeding just before the cycle and also not as thin and healthy as I was when I did my fresh and am feeling really negative about the outcome of this fet. Already had so many bumps in the road whereas my fresh went beautifully from start to finish.

In terms of the food, I think that eating as healthy as you can is great but I think ultimately if it’s going to work it’s going to work and some junk good isn’t going to make much difference. Try and eat well when you can and don’t beat yourself up when you Don’t
Really good luck!!

RedPandaFluff congratulations, that’s really wonderful. I hope you’re feeling well. I completely agree with rebelling, it’s exactly how I feel. You’re right about it being a long-haul thing. I’m always so in awe of the stamina and strength it takes to go through a journey of multiple cycles.
Both DH and I need to be better at finding balance, we’re quite all or nothing which is not helpful in this situation.

Piper51 You 100% get it. That’s exactly my situation. Can I ask if your clinic test your prolactin levels before the cycle? Mine said they wouldn’t (Ireland) but curious as to what they do at home for reference. I’ll keep everything crossed and willing for a good outcome for you.

Thanks both for responding. My first post in two years. I’d forgotten what it was like to talk to people who get it. Thank you

No they didn’t test my prolactin. They didn’t seem that bothered about the bf, they said I didn’t even need to stop but the meds for fet would dry up my milk anyway so figured it would be easier on my daughter to wean before starting. She’s about to be 2 and I was only doing a feed at night and before nap so I don’t think I had that much anyway.

Now half way through fet process and all the stress is definitely coming back but hopefully it’ll be all worth it!

I get it. I had a successful IVF cycle in 2017 too. I was to do a FET last month but my lining did not cooperate and it was postponed.
I already regret starting the process because I feel it is taking away from enjoying the child I have. For this reason I will only complete one FET, if it doesn’t work I will not try again.
My anxiety is skyrocketing already, having a toddler and a full time job means I don’t have time for the regular acupuncture that I feel got me pregnant last time!

I'm starting our final cycle next week - last cycle ended in a ruptured ectopic and my last tube was removed (I already had one tube removed last year due to an ectopic) so im infertile now - I did everything the books said for that cycle and it still went wrong

I've had 5 mc as well as 2 ectopics - doesn't matter whether I've eaten healthy or not exercised or not so I'm going into this with zero expectations - in fact it's two tins of celebrations for £7 in Morrisons today so I'm heading down there to stock up!