My period is fucking with me

[BoomBoomBoomLetMeHearYouSay]

Gearing up to start ivf quite soon.

But...my period is late this month. My cycle averages 25/26 days, I am now on day 33. Hadn’t tested, was thinking it must be too good to be true.

And oh yes it is too good to be true - starting to spot today.

I know it is just par for the the course on this board and nothing significant but it’s so fucking frustrating.

I have friends saying to me stuff like “oh it’s all going to fall into place for you”. No it’s fucking not 😡

I really have no idea what you are going through and neither do the people I would say who are giving you unhelpful comments. I am only assuming they are trying to help (although they are not).

I am sure your friends wouldn't try and intentionally hurt you. My friend is going through IVF and is on her 3/4th round and 15k lighter she is Besides herself as she is 40 and has low eggs (not sure that is the right way to put it).

I really hope things work out for you.

OP have you tested? I’m not going to get your hopes up as you might be full flow now, but if it’s just a bit of spotting and you’re late there is a chance you could be pregnant naturally.

I had my second DC at 40 after secondary infertility and a stack of miscarriages. I honestly feel your pain and I wish you all the luck in the world ♥️

No definitely have my period :(

I had a mini meltdown about it but am feeling better today. Wedding anniversary next week so at least I can partake in the lunch/cocktail making we have booked!!

Also I do agree people aren’t deliberately tactless, or meaning to hurt feelings. It’s just hard going and makes me feel quite isolated from friends.

I also agree no one is being deliberately hurtful. I just wish people would try to put themselves in our shoes and think about what they say. I’m assuming you’re on this forum @cindersrella because you want to support your friend as best you can? That’s a great thing to do, we just wish everyone was like that!

Ladies I'm so pleased I've seen this thread. I needed to find ladies that felt the same as me. I've just had my prostap injection on Monday and feel shit. Everyone is saying it'll work first time because it did for my husband's aunties best friends babysitter. Seriously, fuck off! It's such a draining and lonely process and unless you've been through it you've no idea! All these people that get pregnant either straight away or by accident have no idea what we're going through! I'm losing friends because I don't want to talk about my ivf process. It's not their business and hard enough as it is. I hope you're all ok and thank you so much for making me feel a little less lonely 💕

@Kaney19 - I feel like I have just ranted quite a lot so really glad it’s made you feel less lonely, me too!
Good luck xx

@Kaney19 I've definitely ranted too, but also glad it's made you feel less lonely! It is actually just a relief to find people who feel the same and to finally have a safe place to be honest about it without being told by some clueless person that it's the wrong way to feel. Happy to listen if there's any frustrations you're bottling up and want to release xx

I completely agree! Everyone's an expert on our bodies and how ivf works when they've not experienced it aren't they? It's so good to know I'm not alone. That's so kind of you ladies. I'm back in 2 weeks to collect my next lot of drugs but right now my boobs are huge, like massive! And I'm crying over nothing ☹ @Catshavebellybuttons @BoomBoomBoomLetMeHearYouSay how are you both feeling now? I hope you're not too fed up xxx

@Kaney I'm ok thanks, had a couple of good cries today and yesterday, hopefully the increase in emotional break downs means my period is imminent and then I can at least hop on the IVF train and not be stuck in this horrible limbo! How are you feeling? What stage are you at in the process?

Yeah I'm amazed at how a lot of people seem to think that because they know someone else who's had kids via IVF that makes them an expert on the process. The number of times I've been told about how "so and so had their first baby through IVF and then went on to have 2 more kids naturally because some times it can kick start your fertility, hopefully that'll happen to you as well!" this is from a person who knows that I lost one of my fallopian tubes to an ectopic pregnancy and that my other tube is so damaged by endo that it might as well not be there.

If they say it again I think I might just respond with a very earnest face and hopeful voice and say "really?! I didn't know IVF could regrow Fallopian tubes! Do you know where I can read more about that?" and then satisfyingly watch their face as they realise their own stupidity and shut the fuck up

@Kaney I'm ok thanks, had a couple of good cries today and yesterday, hopefully the increase in emotional break downs means my period is imminent and then I can at least hop on the IVF train and not be stuck in this horrible limbo! How are you feeling? What stage are you at in the process?

Yeah I'm amazed at how a lot of people seem to think that because they know someone else who's had kids via IVF that makes them an expert on the process. The number of times I've been told about how "so and so had their first baby through IVF and then went on to have 2 more kids naturally because some times it can kick start your fertility, hopefully that'll happen to you as well!" this is from a person who knows that I lost one of my fallopian tubes to an ectopic pregnancy and that my other tube is so damaged by endo that it might as well not be there.

If they say it again I think I might just respond with a very earnest face and hopeful voice and say "really?! I didn't know IVF could regrow Fallopian tubes! Do you know where I can read more about that?" and then satisfyingly watch their face as they realise their own stupidity and shut the fuck up

@Cats that has made me laugh

@Catshavebellybuttons bless you. I keep having huge breakdowns where i end up covered in tears and snot. I think it does you good! I've had my prostap injection and go back on the 18th for my scan and to collect my daily injections. 9 days after that, fingers crossed, I'll be going in for my egg retrieval. It's such an emotional rollercoaster isn't it? God people piss me off! Yeah ivf can magically give you a perfect reproductive system 🙄 i think they think by being positive it's helpful but it really isn't. My husband's brother and his wife decided they wanted a baby and got pregnant on holiday, so literally the week they decided. She's such a smug bitch because it just happened and thinks we're just not meant to be parents because it would've happened already. We've not told them we've started treatment because, quite frankly, i don't want either of them involved 🖕🏻 when is your period due? Where abouts are you? I'm not sure if the process differs from place to place xxx

@BoomBoomBoomLetMeHearYouSay - so funny I posted it twice apparently!

@Kaney19 - Sorry I've not replied before, been trying to get out of the house and away from the computer to stop the obsessive googling, which doesn't really answer anything anyway and just causes me to worry even more!

Having a good cry does actually release some of the anxiety and sadness, so bollocks to all those ignorant people who keep trying to push the "stay positive" bullshit. I do end up covered in tears and snot as well though, and so do my poor DP and cats if they're around.

Yeah family are tricky... I can be direct with mine, so told my gran that her comments about me just needing to get over the loss of our first baby were way out of order, she apologised and has been much more understanding since. My DP family have been kind of indifferent a lot of the time. DP sister had a baby, born at the same time as ours would have been, which they were understandably all very happy about, and we were happy for them as well. But it's really upsetting that none of them has ever expressed any sadness for the loss of their other grandchild/neice or nephew. Never offered any condolences to us for our loss, never asked how we were coping etc. His mum has managed to come out with some stuff that is so thoughtless and insensitive at times its actually made me question whether she's been purposely spiteful... but that would be ridiculous surely, so I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt!

I really don't understand the stupidity of people like your SIL who think people only get pregnant easily if they're "meant to be" parents. By that logic the universe would surely prevent abusive and neglectful people from having children. I'm sorry you have shitty insensitive people making this worse for you though

Period finally arrived on Sunday, only 10 days late. FFS. So I start downreg in about 20 days now. I'm not sure what downreg protocol I'll be on, have to go in for consenting appointments and learn about the injections sometime soon, apparently they'll phone me with appointments tomorrow... I know I'll be on GonalF for stimming, but that's all I know so far. Is prostap just one injection for down reg?

In our area we only get one NHS cycle (I know that makes us luckier than many though) so praying this works! Otherwise we'll have to use all our savings and take out a loan to fund the next round. What are things like where you are? xx

It really angers me when couples who have been lucky enough to have a healthy baby get loads of support but the rest of us don't, i think we're equally as deserving! But that's people for you 🤷🏻‍♀️

A good cry does you the world of good, regardless of all the snot😂

How do you feel getting out and about? Is it distracting you? I'm trying anything and everything to keep my mind off it. Id done all my housework by 10am today. Just ignore those who don't have a positive effect on you just now, you don't need that shit. you don't need to be positive and you don't know that everything will 'fall in to place' sometimes you need to embrace your anxiety and all your fears. You'll wake up one day and feel really positive and excited about everything to come but not because some uniformed twat waffle tells you to! I've had a couple of really positive days after a few (quite a lot) of really dark, lonely ones. Your body and mind will do it's own thing, in its own time.

Yeah prostap is just one of the drugs they use up here. The menopausal symptoms are really kicking in today, i had injection last Monday. I thought they were bad a few days ago but I'm so so tired, hot and hungry today. We're in Glasgow and they've offered us 3 goes but then we'll need to pay for it. Will they hold your embryos so you just need to pay for drugs and transfer? What prenatal vitamins are you taking?

I'm praying for you too my lovely. big love 💕💕